Went to check my horoscope today, and read this:

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You might consider picking up some holy water and a few stout wooden stakes. They’ll come in handy soon, although I’m not sure how.

I laughed, and then read this to Gina, who sits right next to me.

Gina also laughed, and then asked, “Hey! What’s mine?”

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your incisors will seem to be getting longer today, and you will find sunlight hurts your eyes. Probably just a cold, and nothing to worry about.

Oh. I see.