Me: Dear, can you do me a huge favor, and help me put the hair stuff in my (freshly washed) hair? I can’t do a good job with only one hand.
Michael: Okay. I suppose.
Me: First this (Curl enhancer/defrizzer). Rub it in your finger tips and then through my hair.
Michael: Okay.
Me: Now this (anti-frizz serum). Rub it on your palms and then through my hair, making sure you get the ends.
Michael: Okay.
Me: Now…
Michael: More?!
Me: Yes. Rub this (gel for coarse hair) on your fingertips and then through my hair, again, making sure you get the ends.
Michael: Okay.
Me: That should be good enough.
Michael: Jeesh!
Me: Now you know why it takes me so long to do anything with my hair. And we even skipped (the humectant).

And this is why you really don’t want curly hair–at least my curly hair. Because despite all the crap I put in it, one good breeze makes me look like a haystack–and you can forget ever driving with the car windows down.