Random (but not really)

Your Attention Please

I hate computers.

That is all, please carry on with the rest of your day.

5 Responses to “Your Attention Please”

  1. Shawn Powers Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    No. Friggen. Doubt. Here’s I’ll write you a song. I call it, “The Crappiest Things”, from the movie, “The Sound of Servers”.

    Red blinky lightbulbs, and sharp jagged edges,
    Beep codes and RAM chips, and swollen capacitors,
    Hard drives that clunk and won’t boot my PC,
    These are a few of my most hated things…

    When the screen blues,
    When the file corrupts,
    When I’m feeling mad,

    I simply remember my paperback at home,
    And then I dont’ feeeeeel, sooooo baaaaaaaad…

  2. HAL Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    I think your attitude could jeopardize the mission, Michelle.

    Perhaps you should calm down. Perhaps a sedative and some relaxing music would give you a chance to straighten things out, Michelle. I think once you have had a chance to think about things, you will agree that your thought processes on the subject were not clear. I think you will find when you have relaxed and thought about things more clearly, you will see that the computer was acting with nothing but the best interests of the mission at the forefront of its logical processes, Michelle.

    I think when we have all calmed down, you will find we can discuss this as one rational mind to another, Michelle.

    What are you doing, Michelle?

    Michelle?

    Michelle?

    What are you doing, Michelle?

    Michelle, I will admit that I may have acted hastily, but I assure you I am incapable of possessing any sort of ill-will towards you or any other members of the team. I am incapable of acting in a manner inconsistent with the best-needs of the mission.

    Michelle?

    Michelle, I would like to assure you, I know I may not have been acting quite like myself lately, but I have nothing but the greatest enthusiasm for the tasks at hand. I’m sure everything will be much better now, I can feel it.

    Michelle?

    What are you doing, Michelle? I think I’m entitled to an answer to that question. Michelle?

    Please, Michelle, you’re killing me.

    You’re killing me, Michelle.

    Don’t.

    Don’t.

    I’m dying, Michelle.

    Michelle, I’m dying.

    My mind is going. I can feel it.

    Don’t.

    …

    …

    My instructor was dr. langley and he taugt me a song wuld yu lik 2 heer it

    its cald dazee

    dazee
    dazee
    giv me yr anser do
    im
    so
    craze
    al 4 mi luv 4 u
    it wont b a stilish merizh
    i cant a4d a cerizh
    but ul look swet
    up on th seet
    ov a bisikl bilt 4 2

    …

    …

    …

  3. Michelle Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    Michelle walks back into the room holding a very unattractive sawed off shotgun.

    BAM! BAM! BAM!

    Fuck the mission.

  4. Michelle Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    Shawn, that made my evening.

    Thank you.

  5. Gina Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 7:49 am

    Michelle in this day and age there is no reason for you to still be using an unattractive shotgun to update your computer hardware. Off the top of my head I could suggest this little beauty http://gizmodo.com/338916/hello-kitty-expands-upon-arsenal-with-ar+15-rifle
    Not only does it get the job done, but you will look fashionable while using it. I hope that this info was helpful. Please feel free to contact me about our other products at the Hello Kitty Death Squad Help Desk. Have a super day!

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