I’ve always been delighted to celebrate by birthday–it’s an excuse to eat lots of dessert and make people be nice to me. What more could anyone wish out of a day?

Because of that, I’ve never been upset by the passing of the years. And more importantly, to be honest I never thought I’d live to see 30. No, this isn’t due entirely to me depression. I was a child in the 70s and 80s, and I was quite sure Ronald Reagan was going to start a nuclear war with the Soviets and the world as we know it would be destroyed over political differences. Thus living to 39 so far has come as a surprise and a quite a pleasant one at that.

Though my depression did play a small part in that, which is why a couple years ago I decided that by my 40th birthday I wanted to accept myself for who I am: good, bad, or indifferent. So for the past two years I’ve been working on being OK with myself. This has in no way been an easy task, but I’ve been learning things to make it easier: eating well and exercising are probably at the top of the list. That accomplishes two things: First, I know I’m doing what I can for myself, so that makes acceptance easier. Second, eating decently and exercising make me feel physically better. And feeling physically better makes me feel mentally better.

I’m also doing what I can to learn to deal with my “faults.” My hair is troublesome, so I learned that I have to pay extra for good haircuts and stuff that keeps my hair from being frizzy. I get stressed out and cranky, so I learned that I have to take time for myself, or I make everyone miserable.

Doesn’t mean I still don’t have work ahead of my in the coming year. I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin, so accepting my body is still something I have not truly learned to do. But I’m getting better.

And I think I can do it.

In which case, I think I should have a big celebration next year! Three years of work to accepting myself as well as simply surviving longer than I expected seem like an excellent reason to celebrate. So I’m taking suggestions for how I should celebrate my 40th birthday next year.

Anything within reason will be considered, but please keep in mind that I don’t like the sun very much, so a trip to the beach is not even within the realm of possibility.

So what’da’ya think?