Monday, November 9, 2009
Burnout?
So.
One of the things that briefly came up with the doctor at my last visit was caregiver burnout.
In that it may be contributing to my inability to get my OCD and anxiety under control.
Here’s the thing. My grandmother doesn’t require nursing or skilled care. She is capable of performing most ADL (activities of daily living) on her own, so it’s not physically taxing.
Which makes me feel (of course) guilty about thinking I might have caregiver burnout, since I don’t physically have to do anything.
But it is emotionally draining, and I need to give myself permission to be accepting of that.
It’s a hard thing though, because it’s a different form of weakness than I’m used to admitting to, and it feels like something I should be able to manage.
There are other things, of course, but they fall under the realm of things that I Will Not Discuss Here (things involving other people).
But that’s where I am–trying to deal with this new realization, and see if I can come up with some other solutions to my add to what I’m already doing to keep myself on an even keel.
November 9th, 2009 at 10:15 am
You should give yourself permission to address this, up to and including asking for help from other family members when you need it.
In my family, people are always willing to help, but seldom know what to do. The moral of the story, of course, is DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. (That’s a tough lesson for me, BTW, so I understand if you have trouble doing that.)
November 9th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I know this burnout. I know that it is really easy to not be aware of it sneaking up on you. Take the time to really allow yourself time for just you. It is real. Like Janiece said above, ASK FOR HELP.
November 10th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Even if they’re all hippy skippy and are very active, caregiving is still draining. You have to share your living space, your downtime, your everything. It’s stressful, even in the best of situations.
For me, when you add in that I come from small, worried people stock, it’s even more draining (we don’t have anybody right now, but we’ve done it in the past).
November 10th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Few years ago I worked for a local geriatric center that offered multiple levels of services to the senior population. Caregiver burnout is a very huge concern, even if the person you’re caring for is still fairly independent. It takes a toll on your whole household.
Is there a senior center in your area? Even if you do not need physical help at this point, they have resources for caregivers to help prevent burnout. In other words, they show you how to take care of yourself first so you can take care of your loved ones. And advice on how to ask for help from relunctant other people.
Kudos to your doctor for recognizing the symptoms! Not every doctor would know what to look for. I’d start with the docs office for research resources.
And if you ever need to run away, come on down!
November 10th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Well… Most of my course work in the MPH program was gerontology classes, so I was well aware of caregiver stress coming into this.
As far as taking care of myself, that’s one of the things my happy doctor and I focused on, since I saw it was going to be an issue. So I know the tricks and tools, and it’s why we’ve actually been taking “real” vacations. But with my mental health history, I’ve realized that I need to be a lot more assertive in getting the down time we need. Problem is that the parts that involve other people are a lot harder to manage that the parts involving just us.