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Thursday, January 28, 2010
Clumsy Is as Clumsy Does
Things not to do if you are clumsy:
Play with old, splintery broom handles
Walk down the stairs with your hands in your pockets
Wear platform shoes
Eat spaghetti while wearing white
Cross the street with your hands in your pockets
Juggle knives
Juggle fire
Wear open toed shoes
Run with scissors
Use a pocket knife that is not a lock blade
Some of these are things I’ve done, some are things I make a point not to do, since it’s very easy to imagine the consequences.
You?
January 28th, 2010 at 8:54 am
Top of my list would be:
- Make the bed without wearing shoes (smashed-toe central)
I mean, I’ve had the same bed frame for nearly 30 years, you think I’d know where the legs are by now! Not so much.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Today’s addition:
Eat sour cream while wearing black pants (sigh)
January 28th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
I am the very personification of grace and coordination. Your rules unnecessarily oppress me.
January 28th, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Walk over the spot on the driveway where you KNOW it’s always slippery in freezing weather, even if you are very very VERY careful. Go around. Go all the way around.
January 28th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Oddly enough, mine involve doing things while being…underdressed:
1) Ironing while naked/in your underwear.
2) Giving cats medication while naked/in your underwear.
Not that I’ve done either of those things – no, not me!
Ahem.
January 28th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Nathan, if you want to wear platform shoes or run with scissors, please feel free to do so.
And have Anon GF take video, OK?
January 29th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Wear a nice clean white turtleneck to a chicken wing restaurant. That sauce NEVER comes out.
January 30th, 2010 at 8:36 pm
I always try to coordinate my outfits with my meals whenever possible.
July 20th, 2011 at 10:59 am
Carol Elaine, if you never iron in your birthday suit, then that’s good. Admittedly, it dangerous, but in more ways than one. If someone caught you in the act, it can be embarassing. I had a brief experience of that as a little kid, when I inadvertantly saw my mother ironing in a complete state of undress! I don’t know why she would do that when there was a risk of someone walking by and seeing her, unless it was done in a moment of weakness. Regardless, the door frame to the ironing room blocked my view of her right side, but I got a head-to-toe view of her left side, which was enough to reveal that she was bare. Fortunately, she was too preoccupied with her ironing to know that I had caught her in the act. And I never uttered a word of it to her or to anyone else.