Stomping into my office and making irate demands is not the best way to gain assistance. Being rude makes me want to make things even more difficult for you, which is most likely not the consequence you had in mind.

One person today was so bad that Derek said, “If she comes back again I’m going to get up and try to run through that (giant floor to ceiling second story) window to escape.”

My sentiments exactly.

I believe it says something about how compatible Microsoft makes their products, that I have to convert my “What’s New in Office 2007″ to an Office 97 - 2003 file, and then open the file in Word 2003 in order to convert it to a pdf to make it available to our users.

Just saying.

And I’m still not caring much for Windows Vista. I have a 9 month old laptop, and some features of Vista won’t work on that computer. I admit they’re not necessarily important features, but still.

There are some creepy unattractive guys that come in to use our computers. Since the facility is open to West Virginia residents, we can’t turn ‘em away unless they do something wrong.

But since they’re creepy, (like 27-inch TV guy) we’re often looking for them to do something wrong.

Several years ago, one creepy guy came in, and after he left, we looked at the cache on his computer and discovered that he was looking at mail-order brides. About 6 months later he came in with a tiny Asian woman who was hanging all over him.

Today, he came in with someone we are assuming is his brother. They were quite openly looking at mail-order brides, this time I suppose for the brother.

There’s nothing illegal about mail-order brides. But… These are really not the kind of men that you want to propagate their genes. Or to imagine in the act of attempting to propagate their genes.

It’s just hard to imagine how desperate a woman would have to be to escape her current situation that she would be willing to marry such a man.

I walk out of my office and sitting at one of the back computers is a guy who has the bottom of his shirt pulled up to his chin, and he’s staring at his nipples.

I never fails to amaze me what people think is acceptable to do in a public space.

Finally! The Plumber skit from The Electric Company!

Happiness!
(more…)

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die.

Shockingly enough, I’ve been writing in and around this general vicinity for five years now.

As I was writing sporadically even then, and keeping everything in a straight HTML page, here’s the page containing the first three months of posting. Don’t worry, there’s only about six or seven posts there. Not an auspicious start, but about par for the course.

February to April 2002

And I rambled on about nothing then even more than I do now.

Happy Year of the Boar!

Good luck and prosperity in the coming year!

The Alchemist’s Challenge
(more…)

Happy Hallmark-and-FTD-Are-Making-A-Killing Day.

In case you couldn’t guess, I dislike Valentine’s day. Not the idea of it–I think the idea is lovely. The execution, however, leaves a lot to be desired. I see no need to spend $5 on a stupid card and $80 on flowers and whatever else on whatever other material goods you’re being pushed to spend money on.

Bah Humbug.

If anyone wants to give me chocolate, they can do it on any day of the year. No special occasion needed.

1. If I’m going to have to relearn a new operating system, why am I not just learning how to use Linux or a Mac?

2. I really HATE the fact that it prompts me any time I want to do things like, say, move files, to confirm that I want to take said action. I realize this is an added security feature, but it is REALLY annoying.

3. The cool features like “Windows Flip 3D” don’t work on my install.

4. It took a ridiculously long time to get attached to the network, and I tried so many different things I couldn’t tell you how I got connected to the network.

Today’s summary: Far more annoying than useful, at least for work.

ADDENDUM the First:
Windows Key -> U doesn’t work for shut down anymore. I don’t WANT to freaking click anything with my mouse to shut down the stupid computer! GRR!!!!

To Whom It May Concern:

If you call my grandmother’s cell phone and she does not answer, calling back EVERY TWO MINUTES FOR THE NEXT FIFTEEN MINUTES IS NOT GOING TO MAKE HER PICK UP THE PHONE.

I’m this close the saying, to hell with cell phone etiquette, I’m going to answer the phone and say “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER! IT TAKES HER AWHILE! BE PATIENT! WAIT!”

Ahem.

Unfortunately, that wouldn’t t do any good, so I’ll just come down here to the basement where I can’t here the phone ring.

See? There’s a solution for every problem.

While doing laundry, I realized that I had “We Three Kings” running through my head. Only not the whole song, just the dark verse that you probably only know if you were raised Catholic.

Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb

As I type I am installing MS Vista onto my work laptop (the one that’s been a PITA since day one.)

I’ve become comfortable enough with Office 2007 to say that as different as it is it’s not the horrific nightmare I was expecting.

We’ll see how Vista goes.

ADDENDUM the First
Not impressed so far. Couldn’t figure out how to access the network. We’ll see how things look on Monday when I’m not thinking so much about going home.

That’s IT. That’s ENOUGH already. Really.

No more bad news. I mean it.

Otherwise I’m going to just hide in my basement and stop talking to people.

Got an interesting question this morning:

“Can I print out my voice mail messages?”

How does that go? “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic?”

You’d definitely need magic to be able to accomplish that one.

(You’re lucky–I skipped a rant about why this is completely impossible with our current technology.)

It’s almost 8:30 and it’s 0 degrees F. We’re waiting for my Dad to come by to jump start our car, so we can go buy a new battery.

Yup.

It’s Monday.

When The Departed first came out, Michael and I were in the middle of getting the house ready for my grandmother to move in, so we didn’t make it to see any movies for about three months, so I was pleased to see that because of the Oscars, the local theaters brought back The Departed (despite the fact it comes out on DVD in little more than a week.)

Yay for that, because I loved The Departed.

I went in expecting to dislike Leonardo diCaprio. I don’t know what it is, but I haven’t been impressed with him since What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? (Mind you, because of that I also tend to avoid movies he is in.) I also went in expecting to like Matt Damon, who I’ve loved since Dogma.

I ended up surprised, in that I was really impressed with Leonardo di Caprio. I thought he did a fantastic job, and I ended up really enjoying his character.

I was also thoroughly unimpressed with Jack Nicholson. He didn’t seem Irish. He didn’t seem South Boston. He instead seemed transplanted in from elsewhere, while everyone else seemed like they belonged where they were. Maybe I’m missing something, and maybe I’ve been watching all the wrong movies, but I just don’t understand why everyone likes Jack Nicholson so much. He always seems like the same person to me in the movies I’ve seen.

And also–yay for Mark Wahlberg! Once I got past the fact that every other word out of his mouth was “fuck” I really liked his character.

So thanks to the theaters for bringing back The Departed so we could see it in the theaters. Now I have to figure out all the other movies I missed in the fall and want to see…

They finally have a release date for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I’m torn as to whether I want to pre-order it or not. I didn’t last time, but ended up buying a copy the first day it went on sale (but not at a midnight sale thank you) and reading the whole thing in almost one sitting.

If I pre-order it from Amazon, at least I won’t have to leave the house to pick up my copy. But the release date is Saturday, so maybe I should just pre-order it from a local bookstore.

Or maybe I’ll forget to pre-order it, and pick it up the first day it comes out like I did with the last book.

Of course the best part about all of this is seeing people all excited about the release date of a book.

Guess with Pantheon of Gods I should be worshiping…
(more…)

Just for the heck of it, I went to Amazon to see if they had a release date for the second season of The Wild Wild West.

They DO!

I’ve pre-ordered!

Now I have something to look forward to in March–Jim West and Artemus Gordon. In COLOR!

I hope I liked it in color. We had a black and white TV when I was watching reruns of The Wild Wild West, so I don’t think I’ve ever seen an episode in color.