…has always squicked me out.

wetware \WET-wair\ noun
: the human brain or a human being considered especially with respect to human logical and computational capabilities

It makes me think of the kinds of noises you’d hear if someone opened up your skull and went poking about in your brain.

Just so you don’t think I fell of the earth, I’m still here, and I’m still attempting to deal–although I’m not necessarily dealing well.

I’m still having a rough time with my medication–in fact I left a message for the doctor to call me, because I think I’m doing worse than I was when is started the meds. (Which I find amusing when I’m not being annoyed by the side effects. [Because, really, who doesn't need a little something to make them more anxious and jittery?])

How do I know things are getting worse? Because I can hardly drag myself out of bed in the morning, and if given the choice would spend all my time hiding in the basement reading all my favorite books. But I am getting out of bed and going to work. And I am not hiding in the basement–at least not all the time. And I’m reading new books instead of my old favorites (but that’s mostly because I have so many books I haven’t read, I feel guilty picking up a book I’ve read previously. No matter how much The Phoenix Guards or Swordspoint or Pawn of Prophecy calls out to me. [Especially Phoenix Guards, because reading that means I have to read Five Hundred Years After, and then I'd have to read The Khaavren Romances, and then I'd have to read all the Vlad books, and since I have Dzur on pre-order for when it comes out in paperback, I'll have to re-read all the Vlad books again then...(I'm sure you can understand how difficult it is.)])

So I’m dealing. I just could be dealing better.

To be honest, it’s terribly frustrating to know that in what seems to be another life, I could deal with the problems and issues that cropped up from day to day. I know I was once a person who could handle stressors–maybe not exceptionally well, but I could handle them. But that seems like something that I read about rather than something I did myself. Depression makes me feel like I’ve always been completely incompetent, so why do I bother trying. But after years of dealing with this, I’ve learned that if I take action and do something about my depression, it will eventually pass.

I just have to be patient.

I hate being patient.

In other news, now that it seems to be general knowledge (i.e they finally told my grandmother), my father starts radiation therapy next week. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a huge deal. But when he had the surgery for his prostate cancer in 1999, I was hoping not to have to deal with this again. But things are the way they are, and I simply have to accept that (since it’s not like I can actually do anything about it.)

So nothing has really changed–I’m still plodding along. But I have hope that things will get better soon.

Like maybe after I completely get over this stupid cold I seem to have picked up.

Memorial Day is the day we are to remember those who fought for our country. This is the day we remember those who fought for our freedom and for justice. This is the day we remember those who gave their lives to so that we might now have:

freedom of speech….
freedom of religion….
freedom of association….
freedom of the press….
the right to keep and bear arms….
the right to keep the military out of our homes….
the right to be secure from illegal search and seizure….
the right to a trial by jury….

Main Entry: freedom
Pronunciation: ‘frE-d&m
Function: noun
1 : the quality or state of being free: as
a: the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action
b: liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : INDEPENDENCE
c: the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous (freedom from care)

Memorial Day
The history of Memorial Day

US Census site for memorial day

http://www.census.gov/pubinfo/www/multimedia/Memorial2004.html
Remember
The Constitution and other historical US documents

But most of all, please remember the 3426 soldiers who have died in Iraq, the 387 soldiers who have died in Afghanistan, and the many many soldiers of have been wounded in service to our country..

What a complete asshat.

See SmartBitchesTrashyBooks for a longer refutation.

Theological world views:
(more…)

After a month and a half of phone calls and hair pulling, a new DSL modem, multiple checks by Earthlink and Verizon, and finally a new line from the telephone pole to the house after we eventually had difficulty with our phone service, we finally have stable Internet!

As a complete and total geek, you can’t imagine what it’s been like having an internet connection that wouldn’t stay up for more than a few seconds at a time. I was reduced to playing minesweeper and solitaire!

So with internet back I spent the evening catching up on book reviews and trying not to pay attention to the Star Trek: Next Generation that Michael and my grandmother were watching.

As far as everything else goes, I’d say I’m feeling better, but that’d be a lie. Let’s say I’m feeling less horrible, and maybe I’ll be back for more regular posts next week–depending.

Or perhaps not.

I’m not sure how much I’m going to be posting for awhile.

I’m still having problems with my depression, and so don’t really have much to say other than things along the line of, “woe is me,” which may be amusing the first time, because it’s not like you hear the word “woe” very often, but is much less amusing on the umpteenth repetition.

So, you’ll see me when you see me. I’ve only been on the meds for two weeks, so perhaps just giving it a bit more time will help.

West Virginia least like the rest of the country!

No kidding.

Here are the bottom five:

Kentucky 47
Vermont 47
New Hampshire 49
Mississippi 50
West Virginia 51

We’re still having internet problems at home. (At this point, we get about 30 seconds of connectivity, then crash.)

So until things are better, enjoy this:
Bound for Glory: American in Color 1939-1943

This is probably my favorite picture. It’d be just as interesting in black and white as in color.

It’s like being nibbled to death by cats.

Context?
(more…)

So, we’re now watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, and of course we’ve started with Season One, which is only marginally better than Season 2, which I find… horrific.

However, while watching the pilot, I realized why I find the character of Wesley Crusher so grating–he’s a Mary Sue.

Lo and behold, I look up Mary Sue and there it is.

Doesn’t really help me as I sit here and watch Season One. (cringe)

Which leads to the bigger question of how it happened. In my opinion, Jake from Deep Space Nine was very well written and rarely made me cringe, even when he was being his most teenager like. So how did things work out so badly in Next Generation?

As I was walking from the ATM to the cafeteria, I noticed that one of the signs I regularly passed had two words in English that you never want to see together.

Emergency Dentistry

I can’t think of any dental emergency that would be anything less than horrific.

And there’s your reminder to make sure you floss every day.

vomitorium•
noun (pl. vomitoria)
1. each of a series of entrance or exit passages in an ancient Roman amphitheatre or theatre.
2. a place in which, according to popular misconception, the ancient Romans are supposed to have vomited during feasts to make room for more food.
— origin Latin.

Okay, I also thought that the definition of vomitorium was the second. And I’m pretty sure I’ve read it used in fiction with the second (incorrect) meaning.

Actually, it might be amusing to point out exits at the CAC as vomitoria.

sparagmos noun [mass noun]
the dismemberment of a victim, forming a part of some ancient rituals and represented in Greek myths and tragedies.
— origin Greek, literally ‘tearing’.

I think the most disturbing part is the idea that it happened so often that they needed a word for it.

Went to pick up my prescription yesterday.

Cash price was $133. My cost? $110.

I am really hoping that was just me needing to meet my deductible. Though things like this are why Michael and I live under our income level. As much as one doesn’t like spending $110 out of nowhere, at least we have the money.

This is the truth.

Especially the bit about whiskey.

(for more information, see here.)

And today’s spam winner is:

Mr. Watson! Come here! I need you!

Doctor: So do you ever have thoughts about hurting other people?
Me: I did mention that I do software support, didn’t it?

It was a people watching extravaganza this evening in Morgantown.

As I was walking to meet my co-workers for dinner we passed two intoxicated white trash guys having a yelling match in a parking lot off High Street (Townies: Daniel’s parking lot near where the “Steppin’ Out” mural used to be). I say intoxicated because not only was there a significant slurring of words, but the only coherent phrase I heard uttered (yelled) was, “I ain’t yer bitch!”

And to further the excitement, apparently soon after we turned the corner, fisticuffs broke out, and there may have been body parts slammed into a car. (One of the people we were meeting missed the yelling but caught the brawling.)

But still, to see an almost aggressively heterosexual guy yelling, “I ain’t yer bitch!” leads me to wonder what lead up to that argument.

Probably just drugs and alcohol. But still, one can imagine a fascinating (and sordid) story.

A gladiator graveyard was discovered at Ephesus.

The Ephesus graves containing thousands of bones were found along with three gravestones, clearly depicting gladiators.

Two pathologists at the Medical University of Vienna - Professor Karl Grossschmidt and Professor Fabian Kanz - have spent much of the past five years painstakingly cataloguing and forensically analysing every single bone for age, injury and cause of death.

They found at least 67 individuals, nearly all aged 20 to 30.

What’s even more interesting is that they discovered signs of gladiators’ lives being taken (as opposed to death by combat) in two different ways: one evidence of death in the ring where “a kneeling man (had) a sword rammed through down his throat into the heart” and the other was death after a fight out of the ring because “a number of the skulls showed rectangular holes that could not have been made by any of the known gladiator weapons. Instead, they suggest the use of a heavy hammer…”‘One possible explanation, which is supported by a number of archaeologists, is that there must have been an assistant in the arena who basically gave the gladiator the coup de grace’”

I find it pretty fascinating how much sociological detail can be gleaned from a graveyard.

Stealth vegetables for kids. (Okay, I just love the phrase “stealth vegetables.)

And more on the totally unshocking news–drinking soda is associated with poor diet and increased BMI, while drinking milk is associated with a higher nutrient intake and lower BMI.

Mmmm…. chocolate milk.

DHL won this years Great Package race. However, given the choice, I’ll stick with UPS, because I really like the UPS guys (and they’re almost always guys) who deliver loot to my house. They are usually grinning when I open the door after running to the door yelling “LOOT! LOOT! LOOT FOR ME!”

But the idea of a Great Package Race is pretty fascinating.

The race results are often mixed and entertaining. Two carriers once showed up at the exact same time to deliver their packages. One package was carried back-and-forth across the Atlantic nine times before delivery. Another was sent to Costa Rica instead of Croatia. And one carrier claimed that the destination country didn’t exist at all.