{"id":151,"date":"2004-03-30T08:18:33","date_gmt":"2004-03-30T15:18:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/archives\/151"},"modified":"2004-03-30T08:18:33","modified_gmt":"2004-03-30T15:18:33","slug":"pardon-me-i-need-to-go-get-some-wooden-pencils","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/archives\/151","title":{"rendered":"Pardon Me, I Need to Go Get Some Wooden Pencils"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Went to check my <a href=\"http:\/\/www.humorscope.com\/\">horoscope <\/a>today, and read this: <\/p>\n<blockquote><p><b>Cancer <\/b>  <i>(June 21 &#8211; July 22)<\/i><br \/>\nYou might consider picking up some holy water and a few stout wooden stakes. They&#8217;ll come in handy soon, although I&#8217;m not sure how. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p> I laughed, and then read this to Gina, who sits right next to me.<\/p>\n<p>Gina also laughed, and then asked, &#8220;Hey! What&#8217;s mine?&#8221; <\/p>\n<blockquote><p><b>Gemini<\/b>  <i>(May 21 &#8211; June 20)<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Your incisors will seem to be getting longer today, and you will find sunlight hurts your eyes. Probably just a cold, and nothing to worry about. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p> Oh. I see.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Went to check my horoscope today, and read this: Cancer (June 21 &#8211; July 22) You might consider picking up some holy water and a few stout wooden stakes. They&#8217;ll come in handy soon, although I&#8217;m not sure how. I laughed, and then read this to Gina, who sits right next to me. Gina also [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-non-sequiturs"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pefxA-2r","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=151"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}