{"id":2250,"date":"2008-05-28T22:44:28","date_gmt":"2008-05-29T02:44:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/?p=2250"},"modified":"2008-06-03T12:47:33","modified_gmt":"2008-06-03T16:47:33","slug":"why-i-love-my-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/archives\/2250","title":{"rendered":"Why I Love My Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Me<\/strong>: Michael! Can you come down here? PLEASE?!<br \/>\n<strong>Michael<\/strong>: (coming down the stairs) What is it?<br \/>\n<strong>Me<\/strong>: (pointing towards very small brown spider on bathroom wall) Can you please take care of it? I think it&#8217;s a brown recluse and it will bite me and I&#8217;ll die.<br \/>\n<strong>Me<\/strong>: I don&#8217;t want to die.<br \/>\n<strong>Michael<\/strong>: I don&#8217;t want you to die.<br \/>\n<strong>Michael<\/strong>: I thought brown recluses were big.<br \/>\n<strong>Me<\/strong>: I though they were small. Very small. If it bites me my flesh will turn all necrotic and rot off. (hands Michael a Dixie cup)<br \/>\n<strong>Michael<\/strong>: (catches spider in cup against wall)<br \/>\n(both stare at cup held up against wall)<br \/>\n<strong>Michael<\/strong>: I don&#8217;t have a piece of paper or anything to trap it in the cup.<br \/>\n<strong>Michelle<\/strong>: (runs and fetches a piece of cardboard)<br \/>\n<strong>Michelle<\/strong>: Thank you.<\/p>\n<p>Why did he have to catch the spider? Why that would be my fault! I can&#8217;t stand for things to be killed, so the few insects and arachnids that escape the attention of the cats must be caught and released outside.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Me: Michael! Can you come down here? PLEASE?! Michael: (coming down the stairs) What is it? Me: (pointing towards very small brown spider on bathroom wall) Can you please take care of it? I think it&#8217;s a brown recluse and it will bite me and I&#8217;ll die. Me: I don&#8217;t want to die. Michael: I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-non-sequiturs","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pefxA-Ai","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2250"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2250\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}