My joints and my back ache.<\/p>\n
My skin hurts.<\/p>\n
I’m running a fever and shivering uncontrollably.<\/p>\n
As I was running out the hot water heater, I was trying to eliminate possibilities.<\/p>\n
“Hmm… No buboes, so it’s not the plague. No sore throat, so it’s not strep throat. I haven’t been bitten by any wild animals, so it shouldn’t be rabies. Plus, I’m not foaming at the mouth. I got my tetanus shot last year, so it’s not lock-jaw.<\/p>\n
It could be meningitis. Maybe that’s why my head hurts so much.<\/p>\n
And it can’t be the goddamned flu, because I GOT my fucking flu shot. Again. And I had the flu over the summer. So it must be something else. Something horrific I’m sure.<\/p>\n
But instead of searching the internet to find out what it is, I’m going to bed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My joints and my back ache. My skin hurts. I’m running a fever and shivering uncontrollably. As I was running out the hot water heater, I was trying to eliminate possibilities. “Hmm… No buboes, so it’s not the plague. No sore throat, so it’s not strep throat. I haven’t been bitten by any wild animals, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[13],"tags":[208],"class_list":["post-3301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-science-health-nature","tag-i-can-dance-and-i-can-sing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pefxA-Rf","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3301"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3301\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}