Several friends have noticed that we’re suddenly being friended more frequently. <\/p>\n
I’d been pretty much checking out Facebook every couple weeks (mostly to keep tabs on my cousins), until sometime last month when I started getting contacts from people I hadn’t heard from in years.<\/p>\n
Which is cool, because it’s nice to see how people are doing.<\/p>\n
But it’s also made me somewhat uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
As I said before, I’ve been using it for the past year and a half to keep tabs on my cousins, and a couple of friends–primarily friends from the Internet, but some friends that I knew\/know in person as well. And it’s been fun for that, but the applications I quickly grew bored with. If I’m going to waste my time on the Internet, I’d rather waste it leaving comments on friends blogs than testing my trivia knowledge (Yes, the Princess Bride trivia game is addictive, which is why I stopped playing.)<\/p>\n
But as I said, things suddenly picked up, and that’s where I ran into difficulty.<\/p>\n
As I’ve said before, I really didn’t like high school. I was a geek, I was unattractive, and my depression and OCD were out of control. That is not a recipe for happiness, let me tell you. So with some exceptions, I don’t have fond memories of that time in my life.<\/p>\n
Part of the reason is because I felt like an outcast. (See: unattractive geekiness) I often felt like I was on the outside looking in, and it was a really horrible feeling.<\/p>\n
Then I went to college, and eventually from there I graduated, and at some point after that (not immediately mind you) I started to get my life together. (And that’s about all that needs to be said about that.)<\/p>\n
So what does this have to do with Facebook? <\/p>\n
It has to do with “friending” people. <\/p>\n
I remember what it was like to not have friends, and to have people who didn’t want to be my friends. I got over it, but I remember the feeling.<\/p>\n
Which is why I really dislike it when people I really don’t want to get back in contact friend me.<\/p>\n
Let’s face it, I’ve got this place that I’ve had for years. If someone really wants to know about me they can come here and read about me and comment if they want. I can’t keep anyone from reading here, although I can control what people say. (NOTE: Unless your comment is spam or incredibly crude and offensive, I won’t delete it. You remain obnoxious I may disemvowel you, but I won’t delete you.)<\/p>\n
And that’s fine with me.<\/p>\n
Facebook isn’t the same way.<\/p>\n
You have to choose to let someone be your friend. <\/p>\n
What if I don’t want to be Facebook friends with someone? Isn’t refusing to friend someone kind of mean? Isn’t it exclusionary? Isn’t it the same thing that made me unhappy when I was younger, being purposefully excluded?<\/p>\n
I know. I’m agonizing over a decision that someone may or may not even notice, because I’m remembering that someone was mean to me 20 years ago. <\/p>\n
But it does makes uncomfortable. I must either be a liar and pretend to be friends with someone who I don’t consider a friend, or I purposefully exclude them.<\/p>\n
So far, I’ve just ignored those friend requests, not knowing what to do with them. But it still makes me feel like a jerk. Especially since I like being able to keep track of people with whom I’ve lost contact. But I’m afraid that as Facebook continues to expand, I’m going to be faced with this dilemma more and more often.<\/p>\n
So what do you all do? (Other than not having anything at all to do with Facebook. That horse has already left the barn. Guess that’s the problem with being an early tech adopter.) Or am I the only person in the world to feel guilty about things like this?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Several friends have noticed that we’re suddenly being friended more frequently. I’d been pretty much checking out Facebook every couple weeks (mostly to keep tabs on my cousins), until sometime last month when I started getting contacts from people I hadn’t heard from in years. Which is cool, because it’s nice to see how people […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[17],"tags":[435,437,436],"class_list":["post-4229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers-technology","tag-facebook","tag-friends-that-arent-really-friends","tag-high-school-was-miseable"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sefxA-4229","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4229"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}