{"id":5798,"date":"2009-12-22T11:57:46","date_gmt":"2009-12-22T16:57:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/?p=5798"},"modified":"2009-12-22T11:59:57","modified_gmt":"2009-12-22T16:59:57","slug":"yo-bro","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/archives\/5798","title":{"rendered":"Yo, Bro"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve joked for years that most guys I know treat me like the little sister they never wanted.<\/p>\n

Now I have further proof.<\/p>\n

Over a year ago, I came home to discover a surprise package<\/a>. Why yes, I did in fact receive six bottles of bird vomit. How lucky am I?<\/p>\n

So yesterday, I received yet another package in the mail. Now, before I show you what I receive, you should know that two of my friends also received packages.<\/p>\n

Anne<\/a> is very excited about her package of ramen<\/a>, and MWT<\/a> was thrilled to have received a box of sachima<\/a>.<\/p>\n

So what did Michelle receive, may you ask?<\/p>\n

\"Ookymmas<\/a><\/p>\n

Was I this excited about my loot?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"Ookymmas<\/a><\/p>\n

No. No I was not.<\/p>\n

That’s right, I was mailed a box of tentacles. Dried, pink tentacles. Somewhere, some poor octopi are going around armless. (That’s what I prefer to believe. Don’t disillusion me.)<\/p>\n

\"Ookymmas<\/a><\/p>\n

There were also some wrapped sticks at the bottom that John the Scientists claims are vegan treats. But really, would you take the word of a man who disarms poor innocent cephalopods?<\/p>\n

Luckily, MWT has volunteered to take the tentacles from me. As MWT is a marine biologist, I am assuming the tentacles will be donated to octopi who have lost their arms in terrible accidents.<\/p>\n

I’m sure that is what will happen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve joked for years that most guys I know treat me like the little sister they never wanted. Now I have further proof. Over a year ago, I came home to discover a surprise package. Why yes, I did in fact receive six bottles of bird vomit. How lucky am I? So yesterday, I received […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,402,44,13],"tags":[897,896,895],"class_list":["post-5798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-holidays","category-loot","category-science-health-nature","tag-apparently-im-the-annoying-sister-of-the-internet","tag-gifts-id-just-as-soon-do-without","tag-happy-ookymmas"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pefxA-1vw","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5798","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5798"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5798\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5798"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5798"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5798"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}