{"id":5948,"date":"2010-01-28T06:00:15","date_gmt":"2010-01-28T11:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/?p=5948"},"modified":"2010-01-27T21:22:47","modified_gmt":"2010-01-28T02:22:47","slug":"clumsy-is-as-clumsy-does","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/archives\/5948","title":{"rendered":"Clumsy Is as Clumsy Does"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Things not to do if you are clumsy:<\/p>\n<p>Play with old, splintery broom handles<br \/>\nWalk down the stairs with your hands in your pockets<br \/>\nWear platform shoes<br \/>\nEat spaghetti while wearing white<br \/>\nCross the street with your hands in your pockets<br \/>\nJuggle knives<br \/>\nJuggle fire<br \/>\nWear open toed shoes<br \/>\nRun with scissors<br \/>\nUse a pocket knife that is not a lock blade<\/p>\n<p>Some of these are things I&#8217;ve done, some are things I make a point not to do, since it&#8217;s very easy to imagine the consequences.<\/p>\n<p>You?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Things not to do if you are clumsy: Play with old, splintery broom handles Walk down the stairs with your hands in your pockets Wear platform shoes Eat spaghetti while wearing white Cross the street with your hands in your pockets Juggle knives Juggle fire Wear open toed shoes Run with scissors Use a pocket [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[926],"class_list":["post-5948","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-non-sequiturs","tag-clumsy-much"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pefxA-1xW","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5948","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5948"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5948\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5948"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5948"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/notreally\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5948"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}