{"id":19981,"date":"2022-05-06T21:07:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-07T01:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/?p=19981"},"modified":"2022-05-06T21:07:00","modified_gmt":"2022-05-07T01:07:00","slug":"ace-what-asexuality-reveals-about-desire-identity-and-the-meaning-of-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/19981","title":{"rendered":"Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Identity, and the Meaning of Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Identity, and the Meaning of Sex<\/a><\/em> (2020) Angela Chen<\/p>\n

\"Ace<\/a>What is ace?<\/p>\n

The book opens with a decent explainer.<\/p>\n

What I didn\u2019t know was what it felt like to want sex without a specific person in mind. To think about sex at all when I was alone. To feel any physical urge for sex distinct from wanting the emotional intimacy it created.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It also explains precisely why ace visibility is so important.<\/p>\n

The label of asexual should be value neutral. It should indicate little more than sexual orientation. Instead, asexual implies a slew of other, negative associations: passionless, uptight, boring, robotic, cold, prude, frigid, lacking, broken. These, especially broken, are the words aces use again and again to describe how we are perceived and made to feel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

She also points out just how sexualized society is, and some of the problems inherent with that.<\/p>\n

It is a failure of society if anyone needs to say \u201cI have a partner\u201d to turn someone down, and it is a failure of society if anyone needs to invoke a sexual orientation to avoid unwanted sex because saying no doesn\u2019t do the job.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The book is threaded with snippets from other aces she interviewed in writing this book, because as with everything else, there is no single ace experience, and sometimes you need an anecdote to resonate with.<\/p>\n

Even if you are not ace, even if you think you don’t know anyone who is ace, it’s a very good explainer not just of the orientation, but also of the problems inherent in society’s view of asexuality–and the over-sexualization of all parts of society.<\/p>\n

But mostly, “asexuality is simply a different and not inferior way of being.”<\/p>\n

Publisher: Beacon Press<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Identity, and the Meaning of Sex (2020) Angela Chen What is ace? The book opens with a decent explainer. What I didn\u2019t know was what it felt like to want sex without a specific person in mind. To think about sex at all when I was alone. To feel […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[12,189,292,204,4,148],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-8-10","category-ace","category-ebook","category-good","category-non-fiction","category-queer"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piQkW-5ch","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18400,"url":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/18400","url_meta":{"origin":19981,"position":0},"title":"The Charm Offensive","author":"Michelle","date":"October 24, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"The Charm Offensive (2021) Alison Cochrun I am having a really hard time writing this review. Because I keep diving back into the book and reading passages an getting sucked back in. Charlie Winshaw was forced out of the company he helped found, and now he's hoping to rehabilitate his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "9\/10"","block_context":{"text":"9\/10","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/category\/9-10"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Charm Offensive","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/The-Charm-Offensive.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/The-Charm-Offensive.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/The-Charm-Offensive.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/The-Charm-Offensive.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/The-Charm-Offensive.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":25839,"url":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/25839","url_meta":{"origin":19981,"position":1},"title":"In My Dreams","author":"Michelle","date":"February 13, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"In My Dreams (2020) Elin Annalise (Aces in Love #1) The problem with a lot of ace stories, is they spend a lot of time defining and explaining asexuality. If it's not done well, it's a lot of \"well, Bob\" and gets boring really quickly. Polly and her best friend\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ace"","block_context":{"text":"Ace","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/category\/ace"},"img":{"alt_text":"In My Dreams","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/In-My-Dreams-187x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17557,"url":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/17557","url_meta":{"origin":19981,"position":2},"title":"Poisoned Primrose","author":"Michelle","date":"July 11, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Poisoned Primrose Dahlia Donovan (2020) Poisoned Primrose (Motts Cold Case Mystery) Motts is a 39 year-old asexual, biromantic autistic who is living on her own for the first time in a house left to her by her aunt. Unfortunately, when digging up the untended garden, remains are discovered, which causes\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "8\/10"","block_context":{"text":"8\/10","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/category\/8-10"},"img":{"alt_text":"Poisoned Primrose","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Poisoned-Primrose.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17642,"url":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/17642","url_meta":{"origin":19981,"position":3},"title":"The Book of Candlelight","author":"Michelle","date":"August 17, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"The Book of Candlelight (2000) Ellery Adams (Secret, Book, & Scone Society) It feels like it won't stop raining in Miracle Springs. Although the rain is good for business, Nora's store is a mess, and she needs more \"shelf-enhancers\" so she bikes over to the local flea market to search\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "7.5\/10"","block_context":{"text":"7.5\/10","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/category\/7-5-10"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Book of Candlelight","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/The-Book-of-Candlelight.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/The-Book-of-Candlelight.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/The-Book-of-Candlelight.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/The-Book-of-Candlelight.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/The-Book-of-Candlelight.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/The-Book-of-Candlelight.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12504,"url":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/12504","url_meta":{"origin":19981,"position":4},"title":"The Alpha and His Ace","author":"Michelle","date":"February 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"The Alpha and His Ace (2015) Ana J. Phoenix This is a cute little potato chip of a story. What it does a very good job of is explaining Ace and that different Aces have different wants and needs, and a general \"don't assume\". There was also some general silliness.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ace"","block_context":{"text":"Ace","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/category\/ace"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Alpha and His Ace","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/The-Alpha-and-His-Ace.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14234,"url":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/14234","url_meta":{"origin":19981,"position":5},"title":"Upside Down","author":"Michelle","date":"April 25, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Upside Down (2019) N.R. Walker \u201cIf you do, I\u2019ll be so embarrassed I\u2019ll be forced to quit and move and join the witness protection program.\u201d Merry stared at me. \u201cSiri, what is an overreaction?\u201d \u201cHow do you know? You can\u2019t know. That\u2019s an improbable equation, and you\u2019re just guessing and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "10\/10"","block_context":{"text":"10\/10","link":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/archives\/category\/10-10"},"img":{"alt_text":"Upside Down","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Upside-Down.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19981","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19981"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19981\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/klishis.com\/reading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}