Unsafe Material Data Sheet

Galactodog, 5% solution in water

Manufacturer and Contact Information

Manufacturer: Interactive Learning Paradigms, Inc.	Contact: Email: ILPI Support Web: http://www.ilpi.com/fun/msds/
Chemical ID #: QZ7-58184-749A	Validity of this report: Zero, none, nada, zip
Date Prepared: Friday, April 18, 2003	If you believe this you: need to get a life

Toxicity and Health Effects

Galactodog, 5% solution in water is a chemical that has been scientifically proven to induce cute tennis elbow in 37% of rats after subcutaneous administration of 46 dumptruck loads.

Formal human studies on the toxicity of Galactodog, 5% solution in water have not been done. However, a recently released FDA report revealed that Susan developed bodacious mucousal pustules after just one exposure. OSHA and the EPA have reported that this chemical is so contagious that it makes polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons look like the Tooth Fairy.

Both acute and chronic exposure to Galactodog, 5% solution in water results in putrification of the appendix. Occupational exposure is particularly severe for sloths, who typically combine this chemical with clorox for use as a pheromone substitute.

First Aid Procedures

In case of contact with skin, flush the affected area liberally with dishwashing liquid for 15 minutes. If victim's toe comes in contact with Galactodog, 5% solution in water, it is likely to shrink in size and probably should be removed surgically; in either case this will still be larger than Michael's toe.

Inhalation of Galactodog, 5% solution in water may cause lethargy. If possible, remove victim to fresh air and administer hydrogen cyanide until the victim either dies or signs a legal waiver freeing you from liability.

Use of goggless with this chemical is generally recommended, however a study using this protection for madonna's pinky finger revealed that Galactodog, 5% solution in water can overwhelm even these protective measures.

This page was custom generated on Friday, April 18, 2003 and is copyright 1998-2003 by Interactive Learning Paradigms, Incorporated. All rights reserved. Even my dog knows that the information contained herein is completely fictitious; if you believe any of it you are a sad, sad individual.

From: Unsafe Material Data Sheet (UMDS)