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Wait Weight
Went back to the gym today after more than a week off. Discovered I gained three pounds on vacation. This isn’t surprising, considering how much we ate, and how many days we had of doing next to nothing.
However, I mention this fact because it brought to mind the fact that I have no body image.
Seriously.
120 and 155 all look the same to me, and the only difference is how my clothes fit. So I have almost no gauge as to how I look. Doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to figure it out, however, looking in the mirror only causes me to look for flaws (thus we don’t have a full length mirror in the house).
The scale is also a problem, which is why I don’t have one in the house, and why I try to step on the scale only a couple times a week at the gym. Because lacking a body image, the only thing I really have to go by are the numbers on the scale, and those aren’t exceedingly reliable (water retention anyone?)
So how does some one develop a realistic body image? How do I learn what the numbers on the scale really mean? I know that my BMI is perfectly normal, but again, what does that mean? How do I learn to see myself as others see me? Is there even such a thing as an objective opinion on weight and body size?
The rational part of my brain goes, “this is unimportant and doesn’t matter in the slightest,” however, the OCD part of my brain grasps onto those numbers and wants to know what they truly mean. The rational part of my brain goes, “it doesn’t matter, stop thinking about it,” while the OCD part of my brain goes, “think of all those horribly dressed college students you see throughout the day. You don’t want to end up like THAT do you?” (Like that I mean dressing in a completely unflattering matter. So many females would be gorgeous if they dressed in something other than the “current styles.”)
So how do I learn these things? How do I internalize something that is completely external?
(And the first person to tell me “you look fine,” gets a smack. That’s not what this post is about.)
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September 19th, 2008 at 5:43 am
So many females would be gorgeous if they dressed in something other than the “current styles.â€
One of my first impressions of London was that it was full of gorgeous women. With time, I realized that I needed to adjust that perception: London is full of well-dressed women. And dressing to impress makes even an average person attractive.
September 19th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
It would be nice if we could use the BMI tables to make a dimensions calculator for fashion purposes: Here’s my height, please spit out a set of what measurement/weight options are available. So that way you’d know you could be 135 with a 28 inch waist and 34 inch hips, and would look great in “boot-cut” jeans with a relaxed fit, haha.
But anyway…
I keep trying to write a comment and start writing a book, so sorry that this is a little scattered. I think part of the problem is that it’s a complex subject. We’re talking about:
weight and health
weight and appearance
Weight and health feels like it should be objective. *If* it is, then I think the problem lies in that 1) the objective stats haven’t fully been discovered and 2) it is highly individualized. (The tables are meant as guidelines, not absolutes, and we’re finding more and more that as guidelines they may not be as accurate as we once thought.)
Weight and appearance is subjective. Again, highly individualized, but this time in terms of what your ideal aesthetic is. I think of it like dealing with curly hair — I can’t really trust other people to tell me if my hair looks good, heh.
I wish I knew that 10 lbs meant I would feel x amount more tired, that I would have a little pooch here and here, that it meant I’d look a little silly in this shirt and better in this one over here, and that my blood pressure would go up by 3 pts. But since how tired you are and how high your blood pressure is are affected by a bunch of other things in your life, it would be hard to get that down without a lot of trying it out, heh. And which shirt looks better will always change depending on who you ask. (But yes, I wish I could critique myself as well as I could critique others, so that I could make my own call on that.)
September 19th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I think that modern western society places much too much emphasis on body weight. It’s only one of many indicators of overall health. In terms of how it makes you look to others, well, whenever I see someone for the first time, I take however they happen to look at that time at face value. If they’re tall and skinny, or short and pudgy, or whatever, then that’s the way they are supposed to be, the end. Amount of body weight registers about the same as things like hair color, skin color, sex, approximate age, etc. Imperfections are just imperfections, everyone has them, they don’t mean that there’s something wrong with the person.
I can’t really speak to how to dress around your given physical appearance, since most of the time I don’t notice clothes at all. As long as it isn’t attention-grabbing ugly (low-cut jeans that show off your butt crack, etc.) or super-scanty, it’s just clothes. You’re either wearing them or you aren’t.
September 19th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
erin,
Yeah, it’s frustrating. And of course as I lack Ultimate Fashion Sense (if you haven’t read Nina Kiriki Hoffman’s “Fistful of Sky”, you really should) I have a terrible time telling what I should wear. I know what makes me fee comfortable but what makes me feel comfortable is not necessarily what makes me look good.
Y’know, now that I think about it, if I could get a weekly or monthly update on BP and cholesterol and all those things, wouldn’t that be better than a weekly step on the scale?
I wonder how long it will be until medicine progresses enough that learning my cholesterol becomes as simple as learning my weight is now. After all, if I’m going to obsess over something, I’d rather it be something useful. :)
And health books and magazines give information that tends to me more worrisome than helpful. Like “belly fat linked to (such and such health risk).” OK, well fine. But what do they mean by belly fat? Any belly fat? A poochy belly? A belly that jiggles a little when you run up the stairs? How much of a pot belly?
And of course it’s not like one can turn to famous people, after all, movie stars have personal trainers who help them keep their bodies in shape that is unreasonable to a normal human.
MTW, the problem is that WVU is FULL of “attention-grabbing ugly (low-cut jeans that show off your butt crack, etc.) or super-scanty” dressed people. I am regularly taken aback by the clothes I see people wearing. Not necessarily the people that dress like trollops (those tend to be entertaining to be honest) but people who dress in such an unflattering manner that I want to take them aside and go, “sweetheart, really, you can do so much better than this.”
Which is how I started paying attention to people who dress well–of course where I work that’s such a rare occurrence it’s also attention grabbing. :)
And yes, body type *is* in some ways little different from any other physical attribute, EXCEPT that I do worry about the health of my friends whose weight is in an unhealthy range, because I don’t want those I love to die. And to be honest, I have the same amount of worry for friends who smoke (Ahem. You know who you are.) or who tan. I don’t want them to die either.
And again, we circle back around to the idea of what is and is not healthy.
September 20th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Have you thought of using a Tanita scale to keep track of your % body fat?
September 20th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Because of my OCD, I know better than to bring a full length mirror or scale into my house. No matter my intentions, I’d end up on the thing multiple times a day.
And that way lies madness. :)
September 28th, 2008 at 7:37 am
From day one I was intrigued by that photo of you in the green jacket, facing away from us. I’ve casually wondered what it might mean re how you feel about yourself, lookswise. Of course I’ve since seen you fully-clothed frontal and your angelic personality is what dominates for me.
There are several common standards for measuring relative health. I don’t think any one number is more perfect than another so you can try picking your fav-five (blood pressure, body-fat, cholesterol, weight/bmi, situp count??) and regularly monitoring them.
As for knowing how others see you, I’m not sure that’s really possible. If you’re extremely brave and have gently honest friends, you could ask em but even then it might be difficult getting inside their heads for the real view. Of course the best idea is to dress for yourself (y’know within moderation for the circumstances that matter to you). There are plenty of stripes-don’t-work-with-this-body-type fashion books out there if you want to feel a little more confident in what image you project.
From over hear you look like a “nice girl,” not too much interested in making a spectacle of herself. Nothin wrong with that in my books.
September 28th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Thanks C.
And I think part of my problems is I don’t really *know* what my body type is, as strange as it sounds. I do dress to feel comfortable (both physically and emotionally) but I often wonder if I’m making similar mistakes to the people I see in the halls (only to a much lesser degree–you won’t be seeing MY underwear in public!) :)