Things Garak Said

Deep Space Nine is the only Star Trek show I particularly care for, and Garak from that show was one of my favorite characters.

Garak: I believe in coincidence. Coincidences happen every day. But I don't trust coincidences.
-- Cardassians

Garak: Why is it noone ever believes me even when I'm telling the truth?
Bashir: Have you ever heard the story about the boy who cried wolf?
Garak: No.
Bashir: It's a children's story about a young shepherd boy who gets lonely while attending his flock, so he cries out to the villagers that a wolf is attacking the sheep. The people come running, but of course there's no wolf. He claims that it's run away and the people praise him for his vigilance.
Garak: Clever lad! Charming story.
Bashir: I'm not finished. The next day the boy does it again and the next two and on the fourth day a wolf really comes. The boy cries out to the top of his lungs, but the villagers ignore him and the boy and his flock are gobbled up.
Garak: That's a little graphic for children, wouldn't you say?
Bashir: But the point is; if you lie all the time nobody's going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth.
Garak: Are you sure that's the point, doctor?
Bashir: Of course. What else could it be?
Garak: That you should never tell the same lie twice.
-- "Improbable Cause"

Bashir: "I can't belive you're not pressing charges."
Garak: "Constable Odo and Captain Sisko expressed similar concerns but really doctor, there was no harm done."
Bashir: "They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle."
Garak: "Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos."
Bashir: "Garak, this isn't funny."
Garak: "I'm serious doctor. Thanks to your administrations, I'm almost completely healed but the damage I did to them will last a lifetime."
-- Way of the Warrior

Bashir: So of the stories you told me, which ones were true?
Garak: My dear doctor, all of them were true.
Bashir: What about the lies?
Garak: Especially the lies.
-- The Wire

Garak: Let me tell you a story. I once knew a Cardassian, a dashing, handsome young man, with a promising career, but one day, through no fault of his own, he found himself exiled and alone with nowhere to turn. But did he give up? No. He struck upon a brilliant plan. Instead of fleeing for the rest of his life, he sought shelter in the one place no one expected him to go: in the stronghold of one of his people's most hated enemies. There, against all odds, against the merciless logic of the universe itself, he thrived.
Ziyal: By becoming the greatest tailor in the galaxy!
Garak: And the moral of the story, my dear, is to never underestimate my gift for survival.
-- Call to Arms

Sisko: I thought the Bajorans bent over backwards to be polite to you, Garak.
Garak: Giving me a nametag that read "Elim Garak, former Cardassian oppressor" was hardly polite.
-- Things Past

Elim Garak

Garak: The fault, dear Tain, is not in our stars but in ourselves.
-- The Die is Cast

Garak: "Treason, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder"

Garak: The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.
-- Improbable Cause

Odo: You'd shoot a man in the back?
Garak: It's the safest way, isn't it?
-- Call to Arms