Random Quotations

On Books, Reading and Writing:

The covers of this book are too far apart.
     --Ambrose Bierce

An ordinary man can...surround himself with two thousand books...and thenceforth have at least one place in the world in which it is possible to be happy.
     --Augustine Birrell (1850-1933)

I've always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.
     --Jorge Luis Borges

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.
     --Anthony Burgess

Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man wanted to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion.
     --L. Ron Hubbard

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
     --Thomas Jefferson

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
     --W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
     --Logan Persall Smith

An essayist is a lucky person who as found a way to discourse without being interrupted.
     --Tom Stoppard

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
     --Mark Twain

If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the worlds great literary works in Braille.
     --Unknown

On Politics and Patriotism:

"Inter Arma Silent Leges" or "In times of war the laws are silent."
     --Cicero

Only an idiot tries to fight a war on two fronts, and only a madman tries to fight one on three.
     --David Eddings

If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
     -- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War

Don't you realize that there's only one life between this madman and the White House?
     --Ohio Senator Mark Hanna, opposing the nomination of Theodore Roosevelt for Vice President

What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
     -- Adolf Hitler

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.
     --Thomas Jefferson

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
     -- Thomas Jefferson

The whole aim...is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins.
     --Henry Louis Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
     --Henry Louis Mencken

An activity in which the choice is constantly between two evils
     --John Morley

Other countries haven't needed to instill the notion of patriotism. We are and continue to be a nation of immigrants. Other countries may change governments or names or creeds- but thier populations are stable and native born. Furthermore what immgrants they do have are NOT invited to keep thier ethnicity and individuality intact the way we do here. Our bonds are not birth place, culture, religion or skin color. Our only common bond is a willingness to uphold the constitution. The pledge is a very nice way to teach or remind ourselves of that.
     --Dee Plath

It is all very well to have a great many good ideas but if you can't say them so that any child of five can understand them, you might just as well not have them.
     -- Eleanor Roosevelt (1939)

The first requisite of a good citizen in the republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight.
     --Theodore Roosevelt

There is no place for the hyphen in our citizenship... We are a nation, not a hodge-podge of foreign nationalities. We are a people, and not a polyglot boarding house.
     -- Theodore Roosevelt "The Square Deal"

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
     -- Adlai Stevenson

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
     --Mark Twain

Lottery A tax on people who are bad at math
     --Unknown

Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.
    --Abraham Lincoln

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
    -- Benjamin Franklin

Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
    -- H.L. Mencken

We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.
    -- William Faulkner

On Reality:

Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in this life.
     -- Jean Paul Richter

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
     -- Philip K. Dick

E is for Erin, who died of ennui.
     --Erin Donahoe Kelley

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
     -- Albert Einstein

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
     -- Mark Twain

Homo Homini Lupus -- Every man is a wolf to every other man
     --Unknown

I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserved them? So, now I take comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.
     -- Marcus Cole (Babylon 5)

On Technology:

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
     --- Jeremy S. Anderson

Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing you've witnessed the second coming.
     -- Guy Kawasaki

If I wanted sadistic user experiences, I'd use Windows.
     --Lisa Schmeiser

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
     -- Unknown author, Levitating Trains and Kamikaze Genes Technological Literacy for the 1990's

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
     --Unknown

On Whatever:

IT'S A GIANT RUBBER PENIS!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
     --Lenny Aniello

Life is pain, anybody that says different is selling something.
     --William Goldman

Actually I'm screaming at the thought of some poor kid with your hair.......
     --Andrew Jacobs

They're really incredibly good, for a hydrogenated-fat product.
     -Susan B. Robbins

I can't wait to go home and sleep!
     --Susan B. Robbins

Hm, they're my testicles. Nope, they're not, they're leased to the Defense Department by your wife.
     --Jim Wright

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
     --Eleanor Roosevelt

HEY! Is that in the Bible?
From the book of Bob 42:69 "And lo, the Lord did say, `"Give them each an asshole, for so much shit comes out of their mouths that they are choking.'' And the Lord did give them assholes, so less shit would come out thier mouths. And yet David Duke happened anyway."
     --Steve Saus

The new drugs sound horrible to me. Who would want to take ecstasy and love everybody? Sounds like hell to me.
     -John Waters

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
     --Unknown

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.
     --Unknown

Always keep a song in your heart
it's like karaoke for the voices in your head.
     --Unknown

I think it serves all of us no purpose to protect people who're too stupid to protect themselves. Not only that we're stealing away their only legacy and depriving their families of that all important winning line in the one upsmanship game played at bars nightly..."My dad was sooo stupid..." "How stupid was he....?"
     --Dee Plath

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning
     --Unknown

If you build a man a fire, you keep him warm for one night.
But if you set a man on fire, you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
     --Unknown

Things Garak Said -- Quotes from the character Garak on Star Trek's Deep Space Nine

Firefly -- Quotes from the show Firefly

Other web sites

A short dictionary of scientific quotations.

Quotes about cats.

Text of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

Michelle Klishis