Random (but not really)

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

The Worst Book Covers of 2017

Let me remind you again that I know that authors have little-to-no say in their book covers. I don’t blame the authors in the slightest for these covers. But I do blame the publishers, and so will point out covers that are so terrible that I would have refused to buy the book if it wasn’t already an author I love.

Avon: 3/3


White Hot (2017) Ilona Andrews – Hidden Legacy book 3 (Avon)

I hate all the covers in this series. HATE them. They just look cheap and tawdry and just awful. Which is unfortunate, because this books are SO MUCH MORE than boinking.

This specific book has a passage that I utterly adore them for putting in, not just because of what it says, but because it makes sense.

The man bent his head slightly toward me. His voice was deep and quiet. “Do you need help?”

I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Do you need help?” he repeated quietly. “One word, and I’ll take you out of here and none of them can stop me. I’ll make sure you have access to a doctor, a safe place to stay, and a therapist to talk to. Someone who understands what it’s like and will help. ”

The pieces clicked in my head. The bruise. Of course. “Thank you, but I’m okay.”

“You don’t know me. It’s difficult to trust me because I’m a man and a stranger. The woman speaking with Augustine is my aunt. The woman across the floor in the white-and-purple gown is my sister. Either of them will vouch for me. Let me help you.”

“Thank you,” I told him. “On behalf of every woman here. But I’m a private investigator. I’m not a victim of domestic abuse. This is a work-related injury and the man who put his hands on me is dead.”

The man studied me for a long moment and slid a card into my hand. “If you decide that the injury isn’t work related, call me.”

That passages tells so WAY more about the book than the cover does.


Wildfire (2017) Ilona Andrews – Hidden Legacy book 3 (Avon)

I do appreciate that he is wearing a shirt in this cover, but I don’t feel a white undershirt really qualifies as being dressed. So still: ICK.

And once again, there is so much more to this story that the cover would suggest.

“I told you twenty-six years ago that if you married him, you would pay the price. I told you to let him go. You didn’t listen. You raised them to fight. They’re not going to cut and run now.”

“They will do what I say,” Mom ground out. “I’m their mother.”

Grandma Frida squinted at her. “Aha. And how did that work out for me?” Mom opened her mouth and clicked it shut.

You’d never guess the book had awesome passages like that if all you knew was the cover.

Into the Fire (2017) Jeaniene Frost – Night Prince book 4 (Avon)

This is not an overtly horrific book cover, except that the main character is repeatedly described as always being impeccably dressed.

(A)s usual, only his face, neck, and hands were bare. The rest of him was covered, the elegant cut of his clothes simultaneously flaunting and concealing that lean, muscled body.

–Once Burned (2012)

As usual, only his hands and face were bare. The rest of him was covered by boots, black pants, and a smoky gray shirt buttoned up to the neck. Unlike most well-built men, Vlad didn’t flash a lot of skin, but those custom-tailored clothes flaunted his taut body as effectively as running shorts and a sleeveless muscle shirt.

–Twice Tempted (2013)

He wore sand-colored pants and a white silk shirt, an open button at the neck showing only the cleft at the base of his throat. The rest of his body was concealed by the rich material, which stretched to highlight his muscles as he moved with his usual stalking grace. The effect was sexier than all the bare-chested men I’d glimpsed around the pool earlier. Vlad didn’t show off his seething masculinity by wearing fewer clothes. Instead, he wore more to taunt people with what he didn’t allow them to feast their eyes on.

–Bound by Flames (2015)

That is why I hate all the covers in this series so very much.

So those are the worst three covers this year. They weren’t bad books, they just had terrible covers that would have–back when I read paper books–walk past without a second glance.

The Books of 2017

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