To Whom It May Concern:

If you call my grandmother’s cell phone and she does not answer, calling back EVERY TWO MINUTES FOR THE NEXT FIFTEEN MINUTES IS NOT GOING TO MAKE HER PICK UP THE PHONE.

I’m this close the saying, to hell with cell phone etiquette, I’m going to answer the phone and say “SHE’S IN THE SHOWER! IT TAKES HER AWHILE! BE PATIENT! WAIT!”

Ahem.

Unfortunately, that wouldn’t t do any good, so I’ll just come down here to the basement where I can’t here the phone ring.

See? There’s a solution for every problem.