You may possibly wonder why someone who is 38 celebrates her birthday (and Christmas) as if she was in elementary school. I mean, birthdays are just marking one year older, right? What’s there to get excited about?

Well, there are two reasons behind it.

First, as many of you know, I have suffered from depression since I was sixteen.

Second, my grandfather died days before my fifth birthday.

I know. Michelle, you’re thinking, that’s really depressing. Are you trying to relive your childhood or something to make up for past misery?

As amusing as that idea may be, no. See, it’s like this. After my grandfather died, my family made sure that his funeral would not be on my birthday. My memories of my 5th birthday are that I got an InchWorm and had a Holy Hobby ice cream cake. In retrospect I can see in my memories that people didn’t seem as happy as they usually were, but it was my day, and I had a great new toy (I have *no* idea how my parents got the inchworm from Baltimore to Morgantown, with a 5 year old, a new born, and a dachshund in the back of a Volkswagen bug, but that’s a subject for another time.). The point is that despite everyone’s misery, they made a point to let me have a happy birthday.

What I have learned from this, as I’ve grown older, is you have to take joy wherever you find it. Little things or big things it doesn’t matter. From checking the mail to new flowers to growing a year older, there are always things to enjoy, if I only stop and think about them.

Yeah, some days it’s hard. But the thing is that happiness can be a routine just like anything else. Even on days I’m feeling bad, I can feel my spirits lift, even if it’s just a little, as I go to the mailbox. Because until I open the mailbox and sort through the mail, anything could be there. A check, a new magazine to read, a letter. So how can I not be happy at the possibility of something good awaiting me? And if it’s a bill? I can be happy that we have enough money to pay our bills and live without worry.

Is this a foolish way to live? Perhaps. But I think it’s better than the alternative.

So if you feel up to it, do a little happy dance for me today. Just a small one. And if you make someone else smile, then you’re doubling the amount happiness in the world, even if just for a few moments.