I’ve joked for years that most guys I know treat me like the little sister they never wanted.

Now I have further proof.

Over a year ago, I came home to discover a surprise package. Why yes, I did in fact receive six bottles of bird vomit. How lucky am I?

So yesterday, I received yet another package in the mail. Now, before I show you what I receive, you should know that two of my friends also received packages.

Anne is very excited about her package of ramen, and MWT was thrilled to have received a box of sachima.

So what did Michelle receive, may you ask?

Was I this excited about my loot?

No. No I was not.

That’s right, I was mailed a box of tentacles. Dried, pink tentacles. Somewhere, some poor octopi are going around armless. (That’s what I prefer to believe. Don’t disillusion me.)

There were also some wrapped sticks at the bottom that John the Scientists claims are vegan treats. But really, would you take the word of a man who disarms poor innocent cephalopods?

Luckily, MWT has volunteered to take the tentacles from me. As MWT is a marine biologist, I am assuming the tentacles will be donated to octopi who have lost their arms in terrible accidents.

I’m sure that is what will happen.