So you may have noticed that I’ve been rather distracted recently, and my posting has been rather erratic. (Well, perhaps sporadic would be a better term; I’ve always been erratic.)

There is actually a reason for this (as opposed to an excuse).

Some of you may know what I have been trying to convince my grandmother to move in with us. She’s 89, and we are simply worried about her living on her own as she becomes more fragile and frail, and as her health problems continue to increase. In February Michael, my father, and I drove to Baltimore to talk with my grandmother about her living arrangements, and our worries about her remaining on her own.

Unsurprisingly, she had a huge number of excuses: my aunt’s house had stairs, she was doing fine on her own, etc. But her prime reason always came back to the idea that she “didn’t want to be a burden” and nothing we said seemed to convince her that she was not–and would not be–a burden.

And so she remained in her home, and we continued to mention the idea of moving out to her.

In the meantime, Michael and I started to work on our house, to make it more elderly friendly–we put in an extra parking space and extended the deck so that she would have a stair free entrance. Because my house has everything on one level, and despite the fact it’s smaller than the other alternatives, has the best layout for someone using a cane (or even a walker).

She came to visit in July, and had a great time, and we mentioned again that we really wanted her to move in with us–things would be more convenient, as my house is right near the medical center and my workplace, my father’s workplace, and Michael’s workplace.

She continued to make excuses, including my favorite, “what would Michael’s family think, an old lady moving in with him?” So back home she went, but she did admit that she might be up for an extended visit–she could see then that she wouldn’t be a burden.

Then in August my grandmother went into the hospital. She was in for a week and a half, and came out very week, and unable to go home. Although she normally uses a cane when she leaves the house, she gets around fine in her house (and in our house) without anything. When she got to my Aunt’s house she was feeling so week she needed her walker just to move around inside the house.

However, at some point, she seems to have shifted in her thinking, and two weeks ago told my Aunt that she thought that maybe she simply couldn’t keep her house anymore. After picking herself up off the floor, my aunt asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to share time between my house and my Aunt’s house. (My aunt’s house has not the best layout, but still has kids in it.)

So, my grandmother is now going to sell her house, and we’re scrambling to get everything ready for her to move in. Which primarily constitutes adding a second bathroom, and finishing a room in the basement so it’s actually warm in the winter when we go to use our computers.

Surprisingly, clearing out the second bedroom is the smaller of the two issues–except for the fact that I really do own a LOT of books, and I’m not quite sure where they’re all going to go now. (We’re hoping that the remodeling in the basement will create space.) The bigger issue has been cleaning out the section of the basement where the bathroom is going to go, and figuring out everything we need to do to put in the bathroom.

But even that isn’t so bad. We’ve done a lot of work on our house, so for the most part taken separately, these are all tasks we can handle. We’ve just never tried to do them all at once.

But we can handle it.

And it really is a huge relief for everyone now that the decision has been made. Every time I talk to my grandmother she actually sounds happy and energetic (as opposed to the really damned tired she’s had going for her for the fast several years). And now that she’s made her decision, she want to sell her house NOW and get it all over with. Which is all right with us, except for the whole getting her house cleaned out thing. (Let me tell you, I am so glad she is not a pack-rat. I am also glad that my aunt has taken on the task of trying to get people to admit what furniture and keepsakes they might want. )

So, I’m busy, but happy, and a whole lot stressed. She’ll definitely be here for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’m not sure when her stuff will get here, but that’s okay. We’ll take it as it comes.

And that’s why I’ve been distracted for the past year. And why I may continue to be distracted for some time to come.

But it’s all good.