I’ve never been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seriously made one (the ones you make as a kid when you’re all excited to stay up past you bedtime and make something up off the top of your head just because that’s what you’re supposed to do totally don’t count.)

If I decide that something needs to be changed or done, then I simply do it. (I’m impulsive like that.) I decided I needed to start exercising, so I start walking that day at lunch. I decide that I needed upper body strength, I sign up for the gym the next day.

(The closest I’ve come to planning out a major change was spending two months reading magazines full of “Get Organized!” articles, and then deciding one day to organize the basement, including going and buying all the boxes and bins and baskets I’d thought were interesting in all those magazine articles. [The result? Total win!])

I’ve never understood the idea of waiting until the end of the year, making up a whole list of things you don’t like about yourself, and then try to change everything at once. That’s just a recipe for failure, which seems like a good way to feel even worse about yourself than you did when you made a list of everything that was wrong with yourself.
But as I read magazines and blogs that talk about resolutions, I’ve started to think about whether there are things I need to resolve to do. (Mind you, the fact I’m still in therapy for my depression makes me even more introspective than usual.) I realized that in a little under two and a half years I turn forty. And even though I like birthdays, that’s still a pretty big turning point. So I started to wonder if there was something about myself that I’d like to change before I reach that point?

At which point, like any normal American female, I started listing off things I don’t like about myself: my hair, my skin, my shape…

Then I stopped and said fuck this. There is nothing horribly wrong with me. No, I’m not perfect, but NO ONE is perfect. So why would I even try the impossible?

Thus I decided. What I want to do by the time I turn forty is to be comfortable with myself as I am. I want to be able to look in a mirror and be happy with what I see, and be comfortable in my own skin.
And I think over the past couple years I’ve been taking baby steps in that direction. I’ve been learning how to deal with my hair. I’ve been trying different things for my skin–making an effort instead of just ignoring it. And those things are helping, because although I can’t control every element of my life, there are things I can do to make life easier for myself. (i.e. anti-frizz serum is the best stuff in the whole world.)
So there you have it. My resolution. To become comfortable with myself, as I am, by my 40th birthday.

Now I just need suggestions for how to go about doing it.