Everyone knows the story of Tom Thumb. Some even know that it was Tom Thumb’s father who first said, “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.”

What is less well know are Tom’s exploits as a young adult in the years before he met, courted, and then married Thumbelina. (What? You didn’t know that? That’ll teach you to believe everything you read in fairy tales.)

You’d think the incident with the fish would have taught him a lesson, yet Tom decided to take to sea, and signed on with a pirate ship. Tom and his pet Raven acted as watch, ranging out to find booty ships. (There wasn’t a British Navy at that point, so for true adventure everyone know you had to become a pirate). For a couple of years they traveled far and wide, and eventually ended up pillaging the coast of the Orient.

This turned out to be a mistake as the Chinese ships were apparently made of sterner stuff that the Occidental ships they have been pillaging. The Captain and the First Mate were beheaded, and much of the rest of the crew were sold into slavery. However the cook, the Second Mate (who was a wizard at languages and quickly learned enough of the local lingo to converse with their captives, [and told them many tales, some of which may even have been true]), and Tom caught the attention of the Chinese captain and they were placed directly into his service.

The cook, whose talents had been wasted on the pirate captain, soon became close friends with Chinese Captain’s cook; together they created a fusion cuisine whose like would become popular centuries later in the New World–a land yet unknown except to the natives, and some Norsemen who weren’t sharing their secrets with anyone.

Tom, however, fascinated not just the captain, but the entire ship. With some small assistance from the Second Mate, Tom (who could already speak Raven) soon learned how to converse with the locals himself.

Upon learning that Tom considered himself something of a brawler, the Captain proposed a match between Tom and one of the members of the local rat population. After Tom handily won the bout, the Captain had made for him a sword and warriors outfit, and allowed Tom–from a safe height–to train with his warriors.

Soon, news of Tom’s exploits moved up the coast, and the Captain took to the seas again, this time to display Tom to the local Magistrates and then Provincial Governors. Eventually, Tom’s fame spread even across the sea, and they received a request to visit the Emperor of Japan.

Tom’s performance so delighted the Emperor, he invited Tom to stay with him for several months, and eventually gave him the title for which he became famous throughout Japan: Tom Thumb, Bonsai Warrior.

Confused? See here.

Thanks to John the Scientist for the inspiration.