The subject of gossip came up today, and I realized that gossip seems to be like pornography: I can’t tell you what it is, but I know it when I hear it.

Specifically, my friend and I were considering several cases.

If you pass along something that has happened to someone so others may know, such as a death in the family, a serious illness, or along happier lines an engagement, we don’t think that’s gossip. You’re sharing the news because you care about either the person to whom the incident happened, or you think the news will affect the person you are telling.

If your sharing information that may relate directly to you or your friends, I don’t think that’s gossip. I think this falls under the category of worrying about the future/bitching about the present.

The case that I wasn’t sure about was talking about your enemies and people you don’t like. If I gloat to my friend about something bad that happened to someone I don’t like, does this qualify as gossip? I’m not telling her so she’ll tell anyone else, I’m telling her because it makes my bitter little soul happy when bad things happen to bad people.

It seems to me that gossip primarily falls under the category of telling anyone who will listen news you know about other people. i.e. it isn’t personal in that you aren’t happy for the person, you aren’t worried about the person, the news does not affect you or the person you are telling directly, you’re just talking because you like talking about other people.

But I could be wrong. Maybe what I do falls into the category of gossip. If gossip is based upon intent, then I think I’m ok. But if it’s based solely upon talking about other people? Well, then I’m not so much of a good person.