Day of the Dead

I’ve ruminated before about the somewhat unhealthy attitude Americans have towards death.

Don’t misunderstand me, death is a painful thing for those who survive. Loss–whether unexpected or not–is a hard thing, and even though we may live on past the death of those we love, a small part of us dies with them.

This is not to say we are reduced by every loss we suffer; it’s not a zero sum game, for new people are new relationships will enter our lives, and although they cannot replace those we have lost, they don’t need to.

But back to El Día de los Muertos.

The Day of the Dead is celebrated–and I do mean celebrated–in Mexico and by those of Mexican in the US. It is in some ways similar to the Celtic belief of Samhain, in that it is believed our world is close to another world, and for this time the ghosts of the dead are able to return.

This return, however, is not a haunting as most Americans would probably initially think. The dead are not vengeful and coming back to torment the living, but instead the living decorate the graves of their loved ones, setting out their favorite foods, as well as skull candies and cookies.

What I like is it gives you a chance to remember the good things about those who died. To remember the things that made you laugh, and the things you loved.

When I die, I don’t want people to wail and mourn my loss, but I want them instead to laugh and celebrate my life. And although there are some who would like their passing to be rung out with a wailing and gnashing of teeth and rending of garments, for the most part I don’t believe that those who loved us would want us to suffer at their passing.

So today, I ask you to remember those who have died: to remember what you loved and what made you laugh. Take today as a day to celebrate their lives, not to mourn their loss.

Today I remember:

Beth Cave, my grandmother. She loved football and made marvelous mincemeat tarts.

Bob Cave, my grandfather. He loved trains, and every winter would put a board on the pool table in the basement and set up tracks for HO scale trains, including houses and bridges.