Today’s word is obviously for John Scalzi.

chawbacon \CHAW-bay-kun\ noun
: bumpkin, hick

Did you know?
“Chaw” is an alteration of “chew” that is still used in some English dialects, especially in rural areas. Cured pork, or bacon, was a staple of some rural folks’ diets in the past. Since the 16th century, “chaw” has been combined with “bacon” to create a ludicrous name for an uncultured yokel. Over the centuries, the word has lent its delicious dialect flavor to a wide range of publications, but it has become less common in recent decades. Today, city dwellers are as likely as country folk to chow down on bacon, and the word “chawbacon” isn’t often on the lips of either group.