Not Your Valentine

Not Your Valentine (2023) Jackie Lau

Helen is done with romance. And not unreasonably so.

Charlie Kung broke up with me at a restaurant last Valentine’s Day, a break-up that practically everyone in the world witnessed.

But everyone keeps asking her if she’s moved on, and it’s annoying, so the obvious solution is to create a fake boyfriend.

I know they want me to find a life partner one day, but not because it’s a thing you’re supposed to do, a sign you’re a real adult. Rather, as far as I can tell, my parents are genuinely happy together and want their daughters to have that, too.

Because this is a romance, you know exactly what is going to happen, even if Helen doesn’t.

I reach for his hand, for practical reasons: I don’t want us to get separated in the crowd.

Or at least isn’t willing to admit it.

This is a novella with boinking, so there were (of course) portions of the book I skimmed, but there were bits I liked. First, Helen is likely neurodiverse.

…but you should look like you’re fond of me, rather than pissed about taking a selfie. Maybe try kissing me on the cheek.”

I glare at him. “Kissing for the camera? That would be suspicious. I don’t want people to think I’ve been kidnapped.”

It doesn’t explicitly say so, but I related to a LOT of her characteristics.

If my parents and sister were away for the holidays, I’d be content to spend the time alone in my apartment, eating good food in peace. However, I recognize that not everyone is like me, which is probably for the best.

And although I skipped the boinking bits, there were boinking adjacent bits that I found hilarious.

Last night’s dream, for example, was wrong on so many levels.

First of all, Taylor was wearing bowling shoes and nothing else. Not even socks. Gross.

It’s also single Point-of-View, which I like and I think works particularly well for neurodiverse characters, as we may miss signals that are obvious to others.

So I enjoyed much if it, and I really like Jackie Lau’s characters, but there was a lot of boinking for me to skim.

Characters: Helen Tsang, Taylor Li, Shirley Tsang, Bec, Esther Zhang, Whitney McPherson, Jasmeet Gill, Mrs. Tsang, Mr. Tsang, Vin, Auntie Lisa

Cover by Alissandra Seelaus

Publisher: Kobo Originals

Rating: 7/10

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