The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (2014) Drew Hayes

Often after finishing a book that I really enjoy, I am at a loss as to what I want to read next. Something completely and totally different typically works best.

This was perfect for that.

I recorded my journeys in the hopes that, should another being find themselves utterly depressed at the humdrum personality still saddling their supernatural frame, they might find solace in knowing they are not the only one to have felt that way.

Frederick the accountant was as surprised as anyone else to discover himself a vampire. He had none of the qualities one expects from pop culture as a vampire, and was, in fact quite happy being an accountant. So that’s what he kept doing after being turned.

Even if he did enjoy some of the perks of being a vampire.

I was more than a minor klutz in my human days, so it was an enjoyable change to walk around without injuring myself.

(Contrary to popular mythology, I neither sleep in a coffin, nor am I rendered powerless during the daytime. The difference between the two is that in the daytime I can sleep, which is an ability I lack under starlight. I don’t have to, and in fact spent three weeks without any rest during last year’s tax season;

This is a series of five novellas, woven into a single book.

It’s also silly and utterly delightful.

“If they’re so good, then why does anyone ever gamble with them?” I asked.

“Because they share their ancestor’s weakness as well as their strength.”

“They eat virgins?” Albert asked uncertainly.

“What? No. They can’t resist a bet.”

Fred ends up becoming friends with a number of other preternatural creatures, and they show the secret world to be just as varied as the real world.

I wondered if Bubba would need the number of a good mechanic to buff out the dents in his roof, then realized Bubba was the kind of person who was perfectly capable of fixing that himself.

Because friend dislikes violence and confrontation, and because he is honest and truly likes being an accountant, he is the exact opposite of every other vampire hero you’ve come across. Which is what makes the book so silly and fun.

If you’re looking for something silly and fun, I highly recommend Fred, the Vampire Accountant.

Publisher: REUTS Publications
Rating: 8/10

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