He saw the teeth sitting on the glass shelf when he walked into the bathroom. His hand immediately came up to his mouth, as if there was a possibility someone could have stolen his teeth while he was asleep.

His teeth seemed to be all there. He ran his tongue along his upper teeth, and then his lower teeth, just to make sure.

He closed his eyes, and then reopened them.

The teeth were still there.

They were definitely not dentures, with those fake pink gums like everyone sees on TV. He kind of hoped they were plaster teeth, in a plaster jaw. But the ragged lines of bone on the upper and lower jaw didn’t look any cast he had ever seen.

He backed out of the room and quietly closed the door, as if a sudden or loud movement could awaken or frighten the teeth. He backed slowly away from the bathroom, staring at the door as if it would open on its own, and bumped gently into the wall. This shook him out of his reverie, and he walked shakily into the living room and sat heavily upon the sofa.

He had no idea whose teeth they could be.

Should he call the cops? At that thought he all but jumped up and ran to the front door.

Locked and bolted.

He went to the kitchen door. Same.

“I am so screwed,” he thought to himself. “How the hell can I explain this to the police? I’m sure they weren’t here last night. And the place is locked up tight, so I don’t see how anyone could have gotten in.”

He stumbled back into the living room and collapsed back onto the sofa. After a few moments he pulled out his phone and called his brother.

“It’s early man, what the hell do you mean calling me this early?”

“I… I… I’ve got a problem.”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you in the hospital?”

“I’m home. I’m okay. I think. But I don’t know what to do.”

“You home? I’ll be right over. You sit tight and I’ll be right there.”

His brother was there in 15 minutes. Of course his hair was sticking up on one side, and it looked like he’d slept in his clothes, but he was there. Because that’s what family is for. After he unlocked the door he came right into the living room and sat down.

“Man, you look terrible. You have a hard night last night or what?”

“No. Home early. Bathroom. Go look. See if it’s still there.”

His brother looked at him strangely, then got up and went to the bathroom.

“What the fuck?” he heard his brother yell. “Dude, there are some creepy teeth in here!”

“I know,” he said quietly, as his brother returned to the room. “I was hoping I imagined them, and you wouldn’t actually see them. Then I’d just be going crazy.”

“How the hell did you end up with a jaw in your bathroom? You bring some crazy chick home?”

“No. Came home alone. Went to bed early. Had a headache.” He realized suddenly that his headache had returned with a vengeance. He dropped his head into his hands.

“You call the cops?

“And say what? Someone left their teeth here? While I was asleep and all the doors were locked? They’ll lock me up.”

“You can’t just leave them there. It’s not only creepy, I’m sure it’s unsanitary as well.”

“Not helping.”

“Sorry.”

Just then there was a loud banging in the kitchen. They both turned slowly towards the door. This wasn’t just a skeletal figure, it was a skeleton. They could see the kitchen table through his torso. A hat covered the head, so they saw only a glimpse as the skeleton turned to walk into the bathroom.

A minute later the skeleton returned.

“Thanks awfully,” it said. “Totally couldn’t remember where I put these last night. Woke up this morning unable to explain to the wife what had happened. Not that having my teeth back will be any better. At least I had a reason not to answer her. How am I going to explain to her I found my teeth in the bathroom of some stranger I ask you? Of course chances are it was her cousin. Bastard thinks he has to live up to both parts of his name. Damned tooth fairy. Hell, even if he didn’t do it, Margie will believe he did, and that’s good enough. Anyway, thanks so much for keeping them safe lad! Cheerio!”

And with that the skeleton doffed his hat and walked out the kitchen door.