It’s been a very strange three weeks.

I suppose that is unsurprising all things considered, but what did surprise me is how it’s been strange.

First, I’ve had minimal pain from what you’d expect from “broken ankle” “broke both tibia & fibula” and “requires surgery.” This actually scared me for quite awhile, as I kept waiting for the “real” pain to kick in (something along the lines of what I felt during the X-Rays) but it never has. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop–hard to relax because I kept waiting for the bad.

But what’s really strange is how it feels as is my life is on hold. I recognize that time is passing, as some major events have occurred in the past week, but as I go from work to home and few other places, the days run into one another and in my mind it’s still cool and comfortable at night as befits early May.

Instead, when I move from the house to the car or the car to work, I keep thinking, “good grief it’s hot,” as if it were not common for temperatures to be in the upper 80s at this time of year.

I suppose working half days contributes to it as well, as do the naps I tend to take when I come home from work–time passes, but I feel unaware of it’s passing, as if life is on hold till I can resume my normal schedule and activities.

I suppose in a way though my life is on hold. I am an active person–it’s not an unusual occurrence for me to walk 10k steps before leaving work (doesn’t happen on a daily basis, but it happens regularly enough) and right now I cannot walk anywhere. I am not exercising at all, and the trip from the car to my office is exhausting.

I plan to remedy the lack of exercise issue by learning exercises that do not use my leg, but those aren’t going to be aerobic exercises, and that just plain sucks.

I realize this injury is in no way the end of the world, that it’s simply a minor inconvenience compared to what many people live with on a day-to-day basis, but it’s frustrating because if this were a permanent injury (thankfully it isn’t but let me continue) I would be learning how to move on. I would be training myself to do tasks in a new way. As it is right now I’m just biding my time until I can put weight on my foot again, and doing my best not to re-injure myself.

I know I am lucky, and I truly appreciate that. But it doesn’t change my sense of disconnect from the world.