Oh, you need that Word document converted to a pdf?

Well, after an uninstall and a reinstall and a repair and finally an update that wanted to take 45 minutes, It still doesn’t work on my machine.

So I moved to another computer…

..Where Acrobat didn’t convert the file the first time I tried the conversion.

Some days, I really hate computers.

I have to say that I am sorely disappointed in Shawn’s review of a review of his review.

Shawn’s review review lacked the substance that I’ve come to expect from his commentary, and instead did little more than tell us that a review of his review existed.

When I read a review of a review, I want to know the nitty gritty: what was exceptional about the review–either exceptionally good or exceptionally bad. There wasn’t even any mention of hideous arse candles. I really expect any negative review of a review to contain at least a side reference to them.

And not only was there not a video of this review, but there weren’t even any pictures, displaying the strengths and weaknesses of the review to be reviewed. All we got was a lousy smiley?! UNACCEPTABLE!

This review lacked the wit and charisma that I’ve come to expect from a man who gives his wife five hot water bottles for Valentine’s Day.
Shawn, I expect better of you in the future.

Also: TAKE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICINE!

You may or may not remember the incident several months ago, where we one of our neighbors broke the rear windshield on the car, and then refused to own up to it.

Well, check out what we found when we got home.

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My cousin sent me an electronic copy of the picture he gave us for Christmas.

Is that not the most awesome picture ever?

I was just thinking that yesterday’s post probably belongs in my “Things that Don’t Happen to Other People” series of posts.

It just goes to show that I am a living embodiment of “Murphy’s Law.” (She struggled valiantly to overcome her phobia, only to have it reinforced in the worst possible way!)

And it is kinda funny, in a very black, and very twisted way. But if you can’t laugh at yourself, then you don’t have any right to laugh at anyone else, right?

Beth Cave, May 1925 to 9 February 2008.

Today we drove to Frederick to visit my other grandmother, who had stopped eating. I was very worried about the trip, because I have a major phobia of nursing homes, and hadn’t set foot in one since my great grandmother broke her hip when I was in elementary school.

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Here’s the second addition to Things that Never Happen to Other People.

About ten years ago my friend Andy had a party, and after a lot of sitting around drinking, we decided that we should take a walk outside to sober up a little. There were about 8 of us, and we ended up stopping and talking in front of a little grocery store, because there was light there.

Now, having had a bit to drink, I thought it would be fun to climb on top of the coke machine and look down over everyone, and having done this, another friend thought that was an awesome idea, and so we switched places. As we were chatting, suddenly THREE police cars come roaring up, and the cops all jump out and start yelling at us.

As I said there were eight of us, and we ranged in looks from punk (I was dressed entirely in black with a black leather jacket and combat books), to goth, to normal college dress (Andy was in jeans, white t-shirt, and sneakers).

After yelling at my friend to get the hell down, we start getting questioned as to what we were doing. “We’re just standing here talking,” we all replied.

“Why are you here?” One office in particular, Office Ford, was very hostile and aggressive towards us, getting in our faces to ask us questions.

“We were sitting around drinking and decided that we wanted to take a walk to sober up,” we replied.

At this Officer Ford decided he had us nailed, “How old are you?” he growled at me. “Twenty six,” I replied. He looked startled and then got in Andy’s face, “How old are YOU then?” “Twenty-two” was the reply. He then went after the goth chick who was dressed to look rather young, and got the response, “Twenty six.”

At this point the other cops had backed off, because they realized that we were really just innocently walking around the neighborhood, and although sitting on top of a coke machine was not the wisest thing to have done, we certainly weren’t harming anything. If anything, we were trying to be responsible in sobering up and not drinking till we were out of control.

But not Officer Ford. He gets right in Andy’s face and starts yelling about us walking around and climbing on things. And Andy, who doesn’t like authority even when he is sober, gets right back in his face exclaiming that we have a constitutional right to walk wherever we damned well please, whenever we please. Office Ford doesn’t like this at all, and goes into a tirade, which eventually ends with, “Damned kids! Bustin’ shit up! ‘S’why my insurance rates are so high!”

Luckily, the other offices realizing that we were neither kids nor “bustin’ shit up,” talk him back into his vehicle and leave us alone.

From then on, “damned kids, butsin’ shit up,” has been our “damned kids get off my lawn.”

I have no idea if Officer Ford is still around, but I do know that some time after the ‘bustin’ shit up’ incident, he pulled over a friend and scared him into an unreasonable search of his car (See: “Why would I steal an Eight Track?”). So I assume he was just one of those angry cops who doesn’t like kids and really had no business being a police officer in a college town.

I’ve got two Life Long Learners classes today, and then tomorrow a whole family trip to visit my other grandmother who has stopped eating.

So I won’t be around much today.

But if I am around, I was reminded yesterday of one of those stories of things that only happen to me. It all hinges on the phrase “Damned kids! Bustin’ shit up! ‘Swhy my insurance rates are so high!”

Which makes it related to another story involving a party in the first, the punch line of which is, “It’s an EIGHT track. Why would I steal an EIGHT TRACK?”

Have a great day!

Happy Year of the Rat!

.

Why do fire alarms bring out the worst stupidity in people?

If I say the facility has to be emptied, why would you think this doesn’t include you?

No, we’re not going to leave you alone in here with all these computers.

No, we’re not going to stick around so you can finish your Facebook post.

Get. Out. NOW.

There’s nothing like a little upbeat music to make things better. Of course people have different ideas of upbeat. My upbeat tends to be a bit on the angry side..

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Small update.

I talked to my happy doctor yesterday, and the conclusion is that my mood is a reasonable reaction to the events in my life, and not backsliding into depression.

So yay. I think.

However, last night I was told that my other grandmother’s health has taken a turn for the worse. I haven’t gotten much in the way of details, but it does seem serious. So that’s not so good.

Plus?

I have to go to the dentist this morning and get a filling replaced.

Happy Wednesday!

Feel free to share dental horror stories here, to make me feel better about my own trials and tribulations. Winner gets one of the cookies I made Monday.*

*You have to come to my house to pick up the cookie.

ADDENDUM the First:
Back from the dentist. If not for the fact that half of my entire freaking head is number from the damned Novicane (I think the dentist really likes Novicane entirely too much), it wasn’t too bad.

Except for the fact I can’t actually eat lunch now, because I can’t feel my mouth, and don’t need to get food and drool all over myself.