A student came up to the GA at the front desk and said, “I think there’s something wrong with the printer. People keep coming up to it and swearing at it!”

This is a great story. Mostly because of this quote:

I went to unpack and saw some of the clothes and saw it wasn’t my suitcase,” he said. “I was going to close it, and a kitten jumped out and ran under the bed. I screamed like a little girl.

Cute cat too.

(via Hillbilly Sophisticate)

I love words. You may or may not have noticed this about me, but really, I think language is fascinating.

Because of that fascination, I always get a word-of-the-day desk calendar, not so I know what day it is, but so I can learn new words. Last years WOTD calendar was a failure, because it had the word, the meanings, and the etymology, which meant that if I didn’t sit at my desk for a couple days, I was looking a several minutes of reading to catch up. So that was a waste.

This year, for something different, I got a Latin phrases calendar, and so far it’s quite interesting. I wish it gave more literal translations in addition to what the phrase means, but, you can’t have everything.

Here are a few recent phrases that I’d like to make note of electronically, so I don’t have to save the calendar squares for anything more than scrap paper.

Of course the phrases that interest me may also tell you something about me.

Alea iacta est.
The die is cast. – Caesar

Possunt quia posse videntur.
They can because they think they can. – Virgil

Nil homini certum est.
Nothing is certain to man. – Ovid

Spes sibi quisque.
Rely on yourself.

Michael would be the only one who could guess the geek reason why I wanted to know alea iacta est but the rest of them interesting in and of themselves. Virgil and Ovid certainly had (or else collected) a lot of wisdom.

Things I Have Done that No One Else Has Done. This is the current meme going around, thanks to John Scalzi.

However, because this is me, I’m going to change it just a tad: Things that have happened to me that never happen to other people.

It’s going to be a series of anecdotes. Here’s the start:

Anecdote 1

When I was working at NIOSH, a friend had an extra ticket to the football game, and because I like going to football games, I went with him.

Unfortunately for me, as the weather was cool, I didn’t think to either wear at hat or put on sunscreen, so I got a nasty sunburn–but only on the left side of my face. Not only did it turn bright red, but it swelled up and got puffy and everything. All week my co-workers kept asking me, “what happened?” and “are you feeling okay?” I was pretty much the talk of the lab for the entire week.

Fast forward several months later. I am walking to the lab one morning with my friend Susan, and fretting about how self-conscious I am about a pimple that has appeared.

“It’s not that bad,” said Susan. “It’s hardly noticable!”

Suddenly, from way down the hall, Song Bi asks, “Michelle! What happened to your face? Did you get sunburned again?”

Anecdote 2

I got along extremely well with my co-workers at NIOSH. And because they felt comfortable around me, they all asked me to help them with their English–to correct them when they said something wrong, etc. I was also asked about the words they didn’t know but were pretty sure weren’t “good” words. So I would also get asked things like, “what is ‘prostitute’?” (I am so lucky someone didn’t come in on that conversation.)

This was usually a lot of fun for me and for them, because in addition to explaining the word, I’d inevitably have a story or even the history of the word to share. It was, however, at other times, a somewhat painful experience.

I had to help one researcher tag mice and clean their cages, (as I was very bothered by this, he sacrificed them when I wasn’t around) so we would be stuck in a small, sterile room in animal quarters for a couple of hours. And inevitably, to practice his English, he would relate the entire plot of the last movie he had watched. And not just any movie, but the made-for-TV movie he had watched.

Let me tell you, if you think the plots of those things are bad when you’re watching them, try figuring out the plot when it’s been sieved through the brain of a man who isn’t a fluent English speaker.

Here is a sample of one part of one conversation.

Gu: So, she was having relationship with son of her best friend. The high school son. Much younger than her. Is this normal?
Me: No! Not normal!

Anecdote 3

After donating blood earlier in the day, I passed out in the freight elevator at NIOSH. But not only did I pass out, but I managed to smack my forehead on something, and also had some sort a muscle spasm (you know, the kind that sometimes jerk you awake when you’re falling asleep).

I wake up and one friend is calling my name in a panic, while the other is pressing on my forehead to try and stem the bleeding of the nasty cut I managed to give myself. Upon gaining some coherence, I felt embarrassed at making a scene, but other than the blood in my eyes I felt ok. However, by this time there are now LOTS of people in and around the elevator, and because of the way I fell, and because I hit my head (twice actually: once on a corner and once on the floor) and because of the muscle spasm, they refused to allow me to move, and called an ambulance.

So I get put in a neck brace, placed on a back board, placed in the ambulance, and driven to the emergency room that is, quite literally, RIGHT NEXT DOOR. However, as there are multiple speed bumps on the direct route between NIOSH and the emergency room, they actually had to take me around the block. Which was silly, but I did appreciate as I was strapped to a backboard. (My husband actually managed to walk to the emergency room faster than I got there in the ambulance.)

At the hospital, I get an MRI and a CAT scan. in the meantime, not only has my husband been called, but he’s called my parents. So in the room with me are my husband, one of my friends from NIOSH, my mother, my father, my boss, and the safety officer. Of course my family has realized that aside from the bleeding, there’s nothing wrong with me, so they then completely and totally make fun of me. Because that’s what my family does in stressful situations. So I’m laughing. And everyone else is laughing, including the doctors and nurses who wandered in and out giving me tests and poking and prodding.

In the end I got 12 stitches, a black eye, and the next day off from work because I couldn’t get the stitches wet for 24 hours, and my hair was matted with blood. (Photographic evidence here)

Additionally, I ended up being mentioned (unnamed) during the future blood borne pathogen training sessions, since the elevator had to be shut down for several hours while a biohazard team cleaned up all the blood, and gloves and bandages were added to all first aid kids throughout the building, along with gauze pads, so no one would again have to try to stem bleeding with their bare hands or a pile of industrial paper towels.

Here’s a brief e-mail exchange between me and my husband, where I wanted him to look at a letter I’d just written. I’ll change the order so you don’t have to read upside down.

“Michael Hyde” 1/17/2008 1:35 PM
What is this?

“Michelle Klishis” 1/17/2008 1:37 PM
did you read it?!

“Michael Hyde” 1/17/2008 2:18 PM
Oh, wasn’t sure what it was so didn’t want to open it.

I can’t think of any grounds upon which I would have sent someone a document I didn’t want them to read. Nor have I ever sent him a virus laden document or attachment.

Today’s Word:

pistolero noun (pl. pistoleros) (in Spain and Spanish-speaking areas)
a gunman or gangster. origin Spanish.

Additionally, the current search terms in my Google toolbar box are “viagra rush limbaugh” because for some reason, I confuse Newt Gingrich with Rush Limbaugh.

Why is the bed most comfortable when you know you have to get out of it? You get a case of insomnia and you can’t get comfortable to save your life, but as soon as it’s time to get up, you’re so comfortable you could just fall asleep at the drop of an eyelid.

Right outside our facility is a huge open atrium with tables and chairs and two cushion love seats where students can eat lunch and study and socialize. It’s actually a rather nice area, and for the most part the students are good about keeping it nice looking.

I mention this, because since about nine this morning, some guy has been asleep on one of the love seats. First of all, the seats have wooden arms, precisely to make them uncomfortable for lying down. Secondly, how can you sleep for six hours IN PUBLIC?!

That’s just creepy.

VACATION!

(throws papers in the air and runs out the door)

That’s right! I’m on vacation until the 7th of January!

(happy dance)

I’m gonna read and bake and read and relax and read and get a massage and read and play on the computer and read and… I dunno… maybe I’ll read some.

YIPPEE!

MOUNTAINEER E-NEWS
Dec. 13, 2007

WVU declares Dec. 27th a holiday

WVU employees on the main campus and regional/division campuses will
enjoy an additional day off during the holiday season, says WVU
President Mike Garrison.

Gov. Joe Manchin granted all state workers additional half days off on
Monday, Dec. 24, and Monday, Dec. 31.

Since WVU already had those days scheduled as holidays, the University
will instead take Thursday, Dec. 27th, as an additional holiday.

In his announcement, Manchin urged state employees to use the time off
to “enjoy family, friends and celebrations that bind us together.”

Employees who already requested that time off will not be charged
annual leave. Please work with your Expert Business Office (EBOs) to
retract your request. Benefits will also remind EBOs to cancel any leave
requests for Dec. 27th.

For additional information or clarification, call the Classification
and Compensation unit at 293-4809.

Official University holidays will now be Dec. 24-27, Dec. 31 and Jan.
1. WVU will be open and operating Friday, Dec. 28th.

Since I was already taking the 27th off, I’m now shifting that vacation day to the 4th. Which means that I won’t have to go back to work until the 7th now. Yippee!

If I don’t come back from vacation feeling relaxed, then there is something seriously wrong with me. Oh. Sorry. Something else seriously wrong with me.

(bounces off in glee)

Michelle’s Boss: Now refresh my memory…
Michelle: F5! F5! F5!

The History of Pain

I’m beginning to wonder precisely what they are teaching these dental students.

(First person with the appropriate response gets bonus points)

ADDENDUM the First:
Here’s Erin’s comment, because it’s too good for you to miss.

To be a success!

♫”‘Oh, that hurts! Wait! I’m not numb!’
‘Eh, Shut Up! Open Wide! Here I Come!’♫

♫”I am your dentist.
And I enjoy the career that I picked.
I’m your dentist.
And I get off on the pain I inflict!”♫

***

♫”Your temperament’s wrong for the priesthood,
And teaching would suit you still less.
Son, be a dentist.
You’ll be a success.”♫

ADDENDUM the Second:
By the way, my initial response to seeing “The History of Pain” was “Life is pain highness, anyone who tells you differently is selling something.”

My second response was “NOT TO FIFTY!“

Michael needs his hair cut. Let’s see what we can find. Is that under hair in the phone book? (Flips through yellow pages.) Publishers, Optometrists, Monuments, Lawyers, Lawyers, Lawyers, Kilts… waitasecond… did that say kilts? Yes. Yes it did. There’s a heading for kilts in the Morgantown yellow pages.

8 Interesting/Random things about yourself…

Random is easy. Interesting? We’ll have to see.

1. I love to bake. Especially cookies and brownies. But I don’t like cake, unless it’s carrot cake, molten lava cake, or soaked in alcohol cake.

2. I acknowledge my geekiness and revel in it. Random quotes from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Firefly? Got it. Love of computers and geeky toys? Yup. Love watching science fiction and comic book movies? Yup. Ability to wax enthusiastic for hours about movies I love? Sure thing. T-shirts with strange and esoteric sayings? Got ’em. But you know what? It’s a lot of fun to be a geek, once you get out of high school.

3. I have almost 2000 books in my house–primarily paperbacks. And I have several hundred dollars in credit from the used book store, from books I’ve “sold” back. But I dislike reading science fiction.

4. I like to do laundry. I find it satisfying to turn a pile of dirty clothes into a neat folded pile of clean clothes. But no, I won’t do your laundry. It’s not the same.

5. I hate to be tickled. Really hate it. You may get punched if you try to tickle me. And I’m a pacifist.

6. I am terrible at simple math and spelling and can’t do either in my head. In fact, trying to make me do either will possibly cause me to burst into tears.

7. Years ago I was at a Tom Petty concert with my friend Mary, when a very drunk/stoned/high man started talking to us, and then suddenly looked at me and asked, “Who’s been beating you?” He had noticed a scar on my lower lip that I’d gotten as a child (jumping on the bed if you must know) that no one else had ever noticed or commented on before. Why he thought I was the type to take abuse, I’ll never know.

8. My heritage is half Eastern-European (Lithuanian and Polish), one quarter Canadian, and one quarter mutt. I am third generation American on the Eastern European side, second generation American (USA) for the Canadian part, and who knows about the mutt portion. Perhaps because of this, I strongly believe in the American dream, and the responsibility of citizenship.

(via Jedi Jawa)

Tag:

You. Yes you. Especially you over there who never says anything.

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