DNF: Lost to a Spy

Lost to a Spy (2018) Sharon Cullen

Set in Scotland in 1567

I picked this up when I saw it on sale because I thought the premise was interesting.

Ladies in waiting can’t help noticing more than they let on. After so many years at the court of Mary, Queen of Scots, Emma Howard sees quite plainly that the royal couple is anything but happy. Reeling from a failed marriage herself, Emma sympathizes with her beloved queen. But the last thing she wants is for the king to be murdered, let alone to witness the shocking act herself. With her whole world turned upside-down, Emma is saved by the quick thinking of a lowly printer . . . who, unbeknownst to her, is one of England’s most daring spies.

Queen Elizabeth and Mary Queen of Scots! That sounds interesting! And I love spy books! Cool.

Well…

Here’s the first issue I had, which occurs in the first chapter.

A large clap of thunder suddenly rent the air. Emma fleetingly thought that it was strange to hear thunder on a snowy February night. Then a bright light pierced her eyes and the Kirk o’ Field building exploded.

The impact lifted Emma off her feet and tossed her backward.

That is… wrong. Completely wrong. It’s backwards. It’s so wrong, that I kept reading, thinking perhaps there was something else happening that I missed.

No. She just got it completely backwards.

The in chapter 11, I read this.

I’m certain he has an alibi.

No. No no no no no.

alibi

late 17th century (as an adverb in the sense ‘elsewhere’): from Latin, ‘in another place; elsewhere.’ The noun use dates from the late 18th century.

I didn’t know the etymology specifically, but I read enough historical mysteries to know that alibi in that sense is very modern.

And then the heroine, who spent years being raped by her husband, and is terrified of sex, decides she wants to “make love” with the hero, whom she has known for two days. And of course it’s awesome.

My eyes rolled so hard they clanked, and I gave up, because life is too short to read books that ridiculous.
Publisher: Loveswept

Rating: DNF

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