As Luck Would Have It

As Luck Would Have It (2008) Alissa Johnson

Set in England in 1811.

Miss Sophie Everton is returning to England after more than a decade away. She is to have a season, hopefully find out what her cousin has done with her family estate, and then she’ll head back to India.

The Duke of Rockeforte has worked for the War department off and on, and so when William Fletcher, head of the War department, asks him to look into something, he of course says yes.

This story is silly, but it is aware it is silly, and revels in some of the more ridiculous bits.

Plus, Sophie is just plain fun.

Sophie was inordinately pleased that her food arrived just then. Grabbing a scone, she took the very largest bite she could manage without embarrassing herself, or choking. Mrs. Summers set down her teacup and waited quite pointedly for a response. And waited . . . and waited . . .

“Eventually, Sophie, you will have to swallow.”

And I do love her dialog.

“Is something wrong?” she inquired softly.

“Hmm? Wrong?” he responded, only half hearing her.

“Yes, wrong. You’re looking at me most peculiarly.”

“Sorry, was I?”

“Yes, you are.”

“How peculiar.”

“So I believe I said. Peculiar. Are you unwell?”

He snapped back with alarming speed. Unwell? Good Lord, is that what he looked like when consumed with desire? Unwell?

That cracks me up.

Alex stopped and glanced down at his feet. He couldn’t help it. Surely to God there was some visible evidence of the hole he was digging himself into. “You must understand, I had a duty—”

“A duty,” she repeated ominously.

How deep was it now? Three feet, maybe four?

“An assignment. I couldn’t very well—”

“Now I’m an assignment?”

“No. I did not say that.”

Six feet. Definitely six.

And I don’t care how ridiculous it is, I dearly love this passage.

The portly man was struck dumb for a moment with shock and fury. Finally, he found his voice and began bellowing.

“You’re common criminals, thieves, murderers—!”

“I ain’t newer killed no one in my life,” the first man stated promptly.

“I have,” Sam admitted sadly. “But it were in the army. I suspect the good Lord might see fit to forgive me for it, if I spend my days repentin’ for what I done.”

The first man gave his friend a reassuring pat on the back. “True enough, Sam, true enough.” He turned a hard eye on the portly man. “He can’t rightly maul a girl and atone for what he done at the same time, now can he?”

“You kidnapped her!”

“Aye, we did,” Sam replied in that same resigned tone. “Got mouths to feed at home, don’t we? ‘Spect God’ll see fit to forgive me that too.”

“Some of those mouths be wives,” the first man commented pointedly.

“And daughters,” Sam added, “and sisters.”

As I said, parts of the story are totally over the top, but in a self-aware way, which just makes it fun.

Publisher: Stonesong Digital
Rating: 7.5/10

• Browse the archives:
  
• Inspector Hobbes and the Curse » »
• « « A Christmas Dance