The Vampire Gideon’s Suicide Hotline and Halfway House for Orphaned Girls

The Vampire Gideon’s Suicide Hotline and Halfway House for Orphaned Girls (2018) Andrew Katz

Gideon has been around for more than a century, and decided to give something back to the world by creating a suicide hotline.

“Do you have some kind of license to do this?”

“No.”

“Hasn’t anyone come and tried to shut you down or anything?”

I think about that. “There is a reason my number does not appear until the twelfth page of an internet search.”

He often talks to the same people who call him time after time.

I try to lie to a repeat caller named Rich. He catches me every time.

“I was a good man once,” I tell him.

He mumbles, “Lie.”

“I did a good thing tonight, at least.”

He asks me what I did. I tell him about it in reasonable detail.

He says ha, ha in an emotionless sort of way. He eats something that makes a loud crunch with each bite.

I begin to ask a question.

He cuts me off.

“Yes, you can tell me a goddamn story.”

Through the stories he tells those who call him, you slowly begin to learn about his past, and how he became a vampire.

Although this is a story of growth and overcoming your past, it’s also about mental health and suicide and trauma. It has a fair amount of black humor but I would not agree with its classification as “Humor & Entertainment.” It was a good story, but it mostly made me sad.

Characters: Rachael, Jeanine, Margot “Margie” Bishop, Jerry, Gordon, Rich, Jacob, John, Vanessa, Jamar, Michael, Mrs. Deangelo, Guy, Thomas Q. Carlson

Publisher: Lanternfish Press

Rating: NR

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