Rend

Rend (2018) Roan Parrish (Riven)

Matt Argento was abandoned as a child, and from that moment on has never felt himself to be enough. To be deserving. He has a job he loves, but in the back of his mind he still expects everything to be taken away.

“You were so used to things being out of your control for so long that sometimes you forget that now you have the power to make decisions. That you don’t have to be cold because you can turn up the thermostat. That if you hate everything in the fridge you can order food. That if you feel sad or upset, you can say so and I’ll try to help.”

Even though Matt and Rhys have been married for a year, Matt still feels that everything could be taken from him, that if Rhys really saw him, he would leave like everyone else.

“You gonna tell him about your stupid brain? And also your regular brain?”

I’m already so much work. He could be with someone so much easier.

I shook my head.

And although Matt is delighted that Rhys has finally put out a solo album, he didn’t expect Rhys being gone on tour to be so difficult.

I’m doing good now. Not like before. But I still dream about it. And I’m… with Rhys gone it’s harder to feel like things are really different.

This story just shreds my heart to pieces.

What if it wasn’t the lens you saw shit through that was fucked up. What if it was actually fucked up because you couldn’t do a single goddamned thing that was worth anything.

One of the strongest things about this story is we only see it through Matt’s eyes. And we quickly recognize that he has put Rhys on a pedestal, so you have to read between the lines to see that Rhys is not perfect, and has his own struggles.

“I drove,” he said.

“Am I… do I come too?”

Pure pain flashed in Rhys’s eyes, and then he just looked exhausted.

“Yeah, you come too, Matty.”

There are just so very many truths in this story, and they are hard, and they make me cry, but they are truths it’ easy to forget.

Things don’t have to be someone’s fault to be true. But you still have to deal with them.”

(sniffle)

Publisher: Loveswept
Rating: 9/10

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