Monstrous Regiment

Monstrous Regiment (2003) Terry Pratchett

For some reason I got Monstrous Regiment stuck in my head and just had to re-read it.

Like most of his books, it’s a keen political satire (“armies don’t do much for agriculture except marginally raise the fertility of the battlefield.”) wrapped in a marvelous story. Polly Perks, resident of Borogravia, has decided to go off to war, to search for her brother. So she pays attention, cuts her hair, and then sets off for the recruiter.

Young men swung everything, from the shoulders down. You have to try to occupy a lot of space, she thought. It makes you look bigger, like a tomcat fluffing his tail. She’d seen it a lot in the inn. The boys tried to walk big in self-defense against all those other big boys out there. I’m bad, I’m fierce, I’m cool, I’d like a pint of shandy and me mam wants me home by nine…

Once there she discovers just how far a pair of socks can take you.

First, there’s Borogravia. A war like state that believes firmly in the self-defense of getting your punch in first.

It was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.

Oh, we also have Vimes (on of my favorite characters) making occasional appearances to provide his usual observations on the world.

You take a bunch of people who don’t seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem.”

But mostly, there’s Polly.

“The captain looks bad,” he said. “What did he try to do to poor little you?”

“Patronize me,” said Polly.

Jackrum put up with Blouse because you’ve got to have an officer, Polly thought. If you don’t have an officer, some other officer’ll take you over. And a woman by herself is missing a man, while a man by himself is his own master.

What I love is that although there is plenty of commentary about the status of women throughout history and across cultures “It was women’s work, and therefore monotonous, backbreaking, and social,” Pratchett doesn’t idolize women, and believe that if women were in charge everything would be sunshine and roses and rainbow farting unicorns.

It is a marvelous Discworld story, and makes me grieve the loss of Terry Pratchett all over again.

Rating: 9/10

Published by HarperCollins

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