Many thanks to everyone who has sent cards and letters to my grandmother, and special thanks to Natalie who recycled a box of books in Grandmom’s direction!

Really lucky! I got to spend time yesterday with Julliene!

Happy birthday Michael!

My most favorite husband EVER!

Really!

Saturday we went to visit Grandmom. She’s been in a rehab facility relearning to stand up and walk and climb stairs again.

The facility where she is getting her rehab is really marvelous. We went to the back, which is like a small park with huge shade trees and even play areas for kids–very beautiful.

Grandmom still has a lot of work ahead of her, but she’s getting better, and she is in good spirits–thanks again to everyone who has sent her cards–you all are wonderful!

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Really lucky, because I got to spend part of the day with the beautiful miss below.

Jealous, aren’t you?

That’s right, this was the big one. I’m now 40!

Does it feel any different? Oddly enough, yes. However, that is not due to my age as much as to the life changing experience of breaking my ankle and being off my feet for six very long weeks.

Several years ago I decided that my goal for my 40th birthday was to feel comfortable in my own skin–to like myself for who I am. I’d started on this goal before that (years of therapy will do that to you) but I still had to work myself up to it.

The first big hurdle was accepting my hair. Do I still sometimes wish I had more manageable hair? Of course. But it is what it is, it’s not going to change, so I learned to deal with it, and be happy with what I have.

Once I got past that, everything else seemed pretty easy in comparison.

I already had a regular exercise routine, and I continued with that routine–right up to breaking my ankle–but by taking care of myself physically, I take care of not just my physical health, but my mental health as well.

I also came to the conclusion that enjoying life was far more important that worrying about stupid stuff, such as my weight. If I want to eat a ridiculously high fat calorie laden dessert because it looks really really really delicious, then it doesn’t make sense to deny myself the occasional treat.

Of course that circles around to accepting myself for who I am. I am never going to have the skinny body I had at 18, but that’s a good thing. Because I’m not a teenager anymore and I feel far more comfortable in my curves than I did when I felt as if I was all bony elbows and knees.

Interestingly, my injury made me realize that I am in really good shape. I’ve always felt that because I don’t run or partake in more assertive forms of exercise that I’ve been cheating myself somehow. After discovering how quickly I am bouncing back from my injury I realized that what I have been doing is just fine for my–I don’t have to be able to run marathons I simply need to keep myself in shape and healthy. I’ve done that, so no more guilt about running or anything like that.

The hardest part has been accepting my screw-ups–and believing that not everything is my fault. Everyone messes up. When I do, it’s my job to own up to it and move on. It does me no good to beat myself up over what is past. I can hope that I won’t make the same mistakes, but I also know that my mouth often works faster than my brain, and so stupidity WILL occur. It just isn’t the end of the world.

The last thing I learned is that it’s okay to do things for myself. It is important to me to care for others, but I cannot do that if I’m a wreck myself.

Mind you, this doesn’t mean I think I’m perfect and done growing. Because I’m not (on both counts). But I am who I am. I accept that. I other people don’t like me–that’s their problem, not mine.

So happy birthday to me! I can’t believe I’ve made it 40 years!

Here it is, the first flower pr0n since I broke my ankle!

I missed a lot of flowers: peonies, bearded irises, dutch irises, and a lot of my day lilies, though most of them still seem to have buds.

(as always, click through to see the expanded set on Flickr)

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For those who don’t follow me on Twitter, Grandmom had her surgery yesterday afternoon, and came through fine.

She’d broken her femur near the hip, but did not break her hip. They put a rod through the hip and into the femur, and apparently she is supposed to be up and walking today. There was a great deal of discussion prior to the surgery with the anesthesiologist: the surgery had to be delayed because she is on coumidin and they had to thicken her blood, and they got her OK for the surgery, however, it was too thin for them to use spinal anesthesia, which meant they needed to intubate her, except that because of her goiter, her trachea is deformed.

I do not envy the anesthesiologist the job he had yesterday.

Michael & I went down Friday night and got to see her Saturday morning. She of course lectured me for coming down, but I didn’t care.

She’ll be in VA for rehab and then we’ll see what happens from there.

OK. Enough of this depressing bullshit. Bad jokes. Tell ’em. As many as you want.

I’ll start with my favorite.

One atom second to a second atom, “I think I’ve lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.”

Next!

Grandmom (who is still in Virginia because of my broken ankle) broke her leg last night.

She broke her femur, and was admitted to the hospital. They’re waiting on blood tests to determine about surgery.

I am really really really tired of this year.

Cora Schenz

24 April 1919 – 10 June 2010

Please keep Michael’s family in your thoughts. His grandmother is fast approaching the end of her life.

Spent Saturday with my niece (OK, and her parents too) and Sunday trying to keep my foot elevated. For obvious reasons, there won’t be any flower pr0n any time soon (I missed the peonies completely, my roses are blooming like mad as is my lavender, and I can’t smell either!) so here are some pictures of Aunt Michelle & Julliene.

OK. Plus a picture of my brother being a geek.