As is traditional, I’ll start with the book covers I hated. That way we can be positive from there on out.

Pleasantly, there were only three covers I really disliked this year, and as expected, they were all from Avon.

Emerald Blaze (2020) Ilona Andrews (Hidden Legacy) – Avon

This isn’t as awful as the other covers in this series–but that’s not saying a whole lot, since it’s still pretty awful.

I do not understand what they have done to get such abysmal covers, but they are always awful. I don’t recall her wearing a dress even once in this story–and the dress in the picture is ill-fitting. They did an awful job photoshopping her knife/sword into her hand, and the guy just creeps me out, with his blank stare and no neck and terribly photoshopped hands.

Ugh.

A Delicate Deception (2019) Cat Sebastian (Regency Imposters) – Avon

His shirt unbuttoned and tucked into his pants. Besides that there’s nothing explicitly awful about it, yet it creeps me out.

Daring and the Duke (2020) Sarah MacLean (The Bareknuckle Bastards) – Avon

Again, there is nothing specific about this cover I can put my finger on, but I hate it all.

The Books of 2020

First, things first, I’m only hating on covers from major publishers. They have budgets and should know better. Independent publishers and self-published books gets points for trying, so I almost never point them out (unless it’s really egregious).

Secondly, I liked the content BETWEEN the covers of both of these books, so I recommend the words themselves, I just HATE these covers.

This year, I only have two covers I really hated, both (coming as no surprise to me) were from Avon.

Sapphire Flames (2019) Ilona Andrews

Avon

I don’t understand how Ilona Andrews consistently get such awful covers. This isn’t the worst they’ve ever gotten, but it’s not good either.

Positives are that I love all the purple. I actually love all the colors in the cover. In fact, if this cover were just the swirly stuff and colors, I’d love it!

But no, it has people. And that is always where Avon screws them over.

One of the characters has a reputation for flitting around the world, and constantly posting beauty shots on social media.

The other character helps to run a detective agency, including going out on investigations.

Can you guess which character runs the detective agency?

I really really hate how weak and secondary the women on these covers always look. Yes, the guy ends up being a super secret agent, but all we know at the start of the story is that he’s a playboy. While she looks like she exists only to be arm candy.

I admit this cover is nowhere near as awful as the one for Burn for Me, but since I despite that cover with the burning hatred of the sun, that’s not saying much.

I just want covers where the heroines look competent and capable of standing on their own two feet and fighting their own battles.

This is not that cover.

The Wallflower Wager (2019) Tessa Dare

Avon

This is nowhere near as egregious as the Sapphire Flames, but I really dislike it. It’s all really bad Photoshop, where the couple obviously were not originally on that bed, and they’ve instead just been roughly pasted into some really bland background.

Then to hide the bad photoshop job, they fill everything in with swirly colors.

And boosted the outer glow on the guy, because he kinda looks like he’s on fire.

And the less said about that facial hair, the better, because that that level of manscaping did not exist in Ye Olde Historical Times.

I’ll also note that there is no way you’d guess from this cover that the heroine is a spunky spinster who has dedicated her life to saving animals. But that’s kinda par for the course with these kinds of covers, so it’s mostly just disappointing, and a reminder of why I love the existence of eBooks.

The Books of 2019

Let me remind you again that I know that authors have little-to-no say in their book covers. I don’t blame the authors in the slightest for these covers. But I do blame the publishers, and so will point out covers that are so terrible that I would have refused to buy the book if it wasn’t already an author I love.

Tally
Avon: 3/3

White Hot (2017) Ilona Andrews – Hidden Legacy book 3 (Avon)

I hate all the covers in this series. HATE them. They just look cheap and tawdry and just awful. Which is unfortunate, because this books are SO MUCH MORE than boinking.

This specific book has a passage that I utterly adore them for putting in, not just because of what it says, but because it makes sense.

The man bent his head slightly toward me. His voice was deep and quiet. “Do you need help?”

I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Do you need help?” he repeated quietly. “One word, and I’ll take you out of here and none of them can stop me. I’ll make sure you have access to a doctor, a safe place to stay, and a therapist to talk to. Someone who understands what it’s like and will help. ”

The pieces clicked in my head. The bruise. Of course. “Thank you, but I’m okay.”

“You don’t know me. It’s difficult to trust me because I’m a man and a stranger. The woman speaking with Augustine is my aunt. The woman across the floor in the white-and-purple gown is my sister. Either of them will vouch for me. Let me help you.”

“Thank you,” I told him. “On behalf of every woman here. But I’m a private investigator. I’m not a victim of domestic abuse. This is a work-related injury and the man who put his hands on me is dead.”

The man studied me for a long moment and slid a card into my hand. “If you decide that the injury isn’t work related, call me.”

That passages tells so WAY more about the book than the cover does.

Wildfire (2017) Ilona Andrews – Hidden Legacy book 3 (Avon)

I do appreciate that he is wearing a shirt in this cover, but I don’t feel a white undershirt really qualifies as being dressed. So still: ICK.

And once again, there is so much more to this story that the cover would suggest.

“I told you twenty-six years ago that if you married him, you would pay the price. I told you to let him go. You didn’t listen. You raised them to fight. They’re not going to cut and run now.”

“They will do what I say,” Mom ground out. “I’m their mother.”

Grandma Frida squinted at her. “Aha. And how did that work out for me?” Mom opened her mouth and clicked it shut.

You’d never guess the book had awesome passages like that if all you knew was the cover.

Into the Fire (2017) Jeaniene Frost – Night Prince book 4 (Avon)

This is not an overtly horrific book cover, except that the main character is repeatedly described as always being impeccably dressed.

(A)s usual, only his face, neck, and hands were bare. The rest of him was covered, the elegant cut of his clothes simultaneously flaunting and concealing that lean, muscled body.

–Once Burned (2012)

As usual, only his hands and face were bare. The rest of him was covered by boots, black pants, and a smoky gray shirt buttoned up to the neck. Unlike most well-built men, Vlad didn’t flash a lot of skin, but those custom-tailored clothes flaunted his taut body as effectively as running shorts and a sleeveless muscle shirt.

–Twice Tempted (2013)

He wore sand-colored pants and a white silk shirt, an open button at the neck showing only the cleft at the base of his throat. The rest of his body was concealed by the rich material, which stretched to highlight his muscles as he moved with his usual stalking grace. The effect was sexier than all the bare-chested men I’d glimpsed around the pool earlier. Vlad didn’t show off his seething masculinity by wearing fewer clothes. Instead, he wore more to taunt people with what he didn’t allow them to feast their eyes on.

–Bound by Flames (2015)

That is why I hate all the covers in this series so very much.

So those are the worst three covers this year. They weren’t bad books, they just had terrible covers that would have–back when I read paper books–walk past without a second glance.

The Books of 2017

Only one this year! (There were lots of meh covers, but only one terrible cover.)

It is, completely unexpectedly, for a Jeaniene Frost book. I have no idea what she did, but she totally doesn’t deserve some of the abysmal covers she gets.

This isn’t the worst cover she’s ever gotten, but it’s still pretty terrible, since the man on the cover is totally and completely unrelated to the man (vampire) described in the book.

Vlad didn’t show off his seething masculinity by wearing fewer clothes. Instead, he wore more to taunt people with what he didn’t allow them to feast their eyes on.

It’s as if the person doing the cover purposefully and willfully refuses to depict that man described between the pages.

But I suppose I should expect nothing better from Avon–who seems to want to have The Worst Covers Ever.

But I have to admit, that only a single terrible cover this year isn’t doing too badly.

I read the new Ilona Andrews book (first in a new series) Burn for Me.

I had a couple problems with the story, but overall, I found it quite enjoyable.

What I did not enjoy was the cover.

Here is the cover of the book.

I don’t like it. I just don’t. The female character is weak, and looks needy and defenseless, and I JUST CAN’T EVEN with men wearing their shirts like that.

But, you know, bad book covers happen to good people.

Then I discovered they had another cover, that was rejected.

THIS cover:

I. LOVE. THAT. COVER.

It is AWESOME. She is powerful and taking action. In fact, he’s the one standing there clutching her hand and looking handsome while she is taking action.

THAT IS AWESOME.

But instead, someone decided they had to go with the bare chested man, with the woman all but swooning in the man’s arms cover.

WHAT THE HELL?

And even though the female character didn’t actually hold balled lightening when fighting, she was smart and able to care for herself and others. She had no need to clutch needily at a man. A man who doesn’t even know how to wear a shirt for gods’ sake.

The woman on the cover that went to print is NOT the woman I read about in the book.

WHY did they need to show her as weak? WHY?!

Let me be clear: Avon? You SUCK at covers.

ADDENDUM the First:
Another salient point. I purchased the book solely because it was written by Ilona Andrews. If I was browsing, I would have immediately skipped right over that as a book of no interest to me. And in fact Despite the fact I had pre-ordered the book, I put off reading it because I found the cover so unappealing, I presumed it wasn’t the kind of book I typically enjoy.

But I did get around to reading it, because I love Ilona Andrews and the books they write. But if I was a reading, looking for a new author? No way in hell would I have picked that up.

It’s time for my wrap up of the books I read in 2013, and once again I’m going to start with covers.

And the first covers are ones I hated, to get that out of the way.

There are two types of terrible covers: ones that are just plain awful, and ones that are good, but I personally disliked.

We’ll start with the former. Neither of these covers are terrible, but…

Twice Tempted: A Night Prince Novel (2013) Jeaniene Frost

Jeaniene Frost has had some absolutely horrific covers, and this in no way stoops to that level. But that doesn’t mean I like it. Which is too bad, because despite the boinking, it’s a good book and one I enjoyed.

First, it’s the male equivalent of the butt-n-boobs shot, although this is at least anatomically possible.

But that’s not really what bothered me. What I dislike is that the model doesn’t match Vlad. (Yes, Vlad the Impaler, but it’s a good book. Trust me.)

Winged eyebrows framed eyes that were a blend of copper and emerald, and sleek material draped over a body hardened from decades of battle when he was human. As usual, only his hands and face were bare.
…
Unlike most well-built men, Vlad didn’t flash a lot of skin, but those custom-tailored clothes flaunted his taut body as effectively as running shorts and a sleeveless muscle shirt.

Vlad is described as always being impeccably dressed, so we get… man titty.

Next up, a cover that isn’t horrible, but I just did not like.

Fair Game (2012) Patricia Briggs

That just doesn’t look like a wolf to me. And it certainly doesn’t look like the bad-ass enforcer wolf. The position of the two characters is just … weird. And I keep thinking that’s a Pringle floating in front of them.

Now, two covers that are just terrible.

I liked and enjoyed these stories, but thank goodness I read them in eBook format, so I didn’t have to actually LOOK at either of these covers.

The problem with reusing images for book covers, is that if an image is particularly striking, it’s obvious the image has been reused.

For weeks I was staring at the guy on the cover of Lilith Saintcrow’s The Damnation Affair, KNOWING I’d seen that guy on the cover of another book.

How did I know that? Because the guy creeps me out.

He looks like a redneck stalker.

Not hot. Not sexy.

Creepy.

I finally ran back into the image as I was cleaning up my book blog and book site.

The cover for Moira Rogers’ book Wilder’s Mate: Bloodhounds.

Mind you, I find the guy disturbing in both settings, but I find the first image MORE disturbing, because he and the girl are not in the same setting AT ALL. At least in the second image, the guy is being made to look threatening and dangerous–though Im’ never a fan of Photoshopped red eyes.

But in the top image, he looks not like he’s going to save the girl, but that he is threatening her.

Additionally, the female model looks about twelve, which makes it all the more squicky, because it reinforces the stalker/pedophile vibe.

So now we both know.

Last night I finished a book I enjoyed, but HOLY CARP the cover is HORRIFIC.

Interestingly, I searched online for images, and none of the images I found had the sheer horrificness of fake blood that was on my cover.

My guess is that someone fixed the cover, for later printings. Which makes the current cover bad, but not quite as OMFG YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING horrible.

So, here it is:

Seriously. Click through the Flickr to see larger OMG AWFUL.

Just to prove I didn’t photoshop that horrible blood in there, here is my co-worker Meredith, reacting to the cover.

If you click through to Flickr, you can view full size and still see the horrific blood drips there.

FWIW, I then loaned the book to Meredith to read, because it really is a good book.

Every time I looked at the cover, I kept thinking Ben Browder was about to be attacked by mini-glowy-eyed hyenas and extra tall, extra skinny jawas.