As I have written before, depression is something I have dealt with since I was a teen.

A young teen.

I admit my favored genres don’t seem like ones I am likely to see myself in (fantasy and historical mystery) Except that genre books often have excellent representation—after all, the relatable bits of those stories are about people.

I have read so very many passages in so very many books and immediately thought, “That! That is how I feel!” So, I’m sharing some of the ways books have clarified or shown a light on things I didn’t have the words for myself.

Depression and anxiety were self-abnegating and self-centering at the same time. It was so easy to believe that because my feelings were huge, they exerted a force beyond me. It was so easy to forget that even though I was always being forced to think about myself, not everyone else did.

— Roan Parrish, Invitation to the Blues

It’s hard to step outside yourself—even when you aren’t depressed. But when you are depressed it’s can feel impossible.

I was in my head, and that was the worst place for anyone to be, especially me.

— Alexis Hall, Boyfriend Material

When you’re in a depressive episode, it’s almost impossible to escape your own head.

I couldn’t breathe and I was running through every single shitty thing I’d ever done, pulling my mistakes around me like some kind of armor against the hope of anything good.

— Riven, Roan Parrish

There is isolation, a feeling of being trapped with your own brain.

I’d give my blood or my firstborn or my voice or my entire bloody inheritance for a mind that does not stand on the opposite side of the battlefield from me.

— Mackenzi Lee, The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks

You can see the things that other people have, but can’t believe they will ever be for you.

“I suppose you weren’t in the mood for any of Callie’s lovely barbecues last summer?”

No, Zach hadn’t been. Although, his mood might have improved if anyone had thought to invite him to those barbecues. Or tell him he’d been missed. Or ask if he was okay. Or remember he existed at all.

— Talia Hibbert, That Kind of Guy

And you know other people are judging you, making assumptions.

(S)he was, as people loved to put it, mentally unstable. (They thought) unbelievably common blips in brain chemistry made her some kind of separate species.

— Talia Hibbert, Untouchable

Thing is, you’re not doing this on purpose. You know things aren’t right. You want to make things better.

“When I’m depressed,” Nate said casually, “I always know what I should be doing. I know exactly. I just don’t do it.”

— Talia Hibbert, Untouchable

You know your friends aren’t judging you, but are certain they must be disappointed in you.

I’d fuck up and let them down, they’d feel sad, I’d feel sad, they’d feel sad for making me feel sad, and so on, and so on, and so on. As if I didn’t bear enough frustration and regret on my own account, without also feeling guilty for hurting the people who loved me.

— Alexis Hall, Glitterland

Even when trying to be helpful, people don’t get that there is nothing they can do to make you better. The demons are in your head and as much as you want to excise them—you can’t.

They wanted to make things okay for me, as if cooking the right dinner or renting the right movie might fundamentally change the way my brain worked. It was painful to watch. Painful to see them flounder over and over to turn the world into a place I could fit.

— Roan Parrish, Invitation to the Blues

Which leads to hiding from everyone, because you lack the ability to explain yourself, which makes everything too much work.

I suppose that’s what comes of purposefully avoiding everyone you love. But I had to— have to— stay away from them, at least until I’m not so miserable, so distant, such a burden. Don’t I?

— Talia Hibbert, Work for It

And doing everything you can to hide how much you are struggling from those who might notice.

The nice thing about heavy sweaters was you could wear them a long time without having to wash them, but still. There was a limit. There were a lot of limits, actually. Since grooming was one of those things people watched for, I made sure to clean beneath my fingernails and behind my ears.

— Josh Lanyon, The Haunted Heart: Winter

Sometimes the problem is the things you do, but sometimes it’s things you don’t do.

He closed his eyes. He hadn’t told his brother that he hadn’t drawn in eight months.

— Roan Parrish, Better Than People

When you’re struggling, you feel alone. It doesn’t matter what people say, because your brain is so much louder than anyone else’s words.

“(I)t’s difficult, sometimes, for me to understand that I have the power to hurt someone. You see, it requires me to accept that somebody might like me in the first place.”

— Alexis Hall, Glitterland

There is also the knowledge that even if things are okay today, that doesn’t mean it all won’t come crashing down tomorrow.

(E)very day when I was okay shimmered with a threat just out of view. I’d stop in the middle of doing something and check in: did I still feel okay? I did. I would reassure myself, See! You are still okay! But once I began to look down and check that the ground was still flat, every step felt like the one that might suddenly slope downhill. And even when it didn’t, the edge felt like it was growing nearer and each day became more and more vertiginous.

— Roan Parrish, Invitation to the Blues

You try do the right things, because you know they help.

“Plus this”—Charlie adopts Dev’s frantic hand gesture—“this is for my mental health. All the exercise, I mean. I don’t do it because I care what my body looks like. I do it because I care how my brain feels.”

— Alison Cochrun, The Charm Offensive

And meds help—they do! But even with meds the world can still come crashing down around you.

I wouldn’t have called myself a superstitious man, but when it came to the intricacies of my biochemistry, the complexities of my illness, I was as helpless as a frightened child who prayed to a god called science.

— Alexis Hall, Glitterland

Even when everything was fine, when she should be great, unease stalked her like a predator. Because she knew that at any moment, things might change. Her own fucking brain chemistry, the traitor, might drag her out of her body again.

— Talia Hibbert, Untouchable

What’s harder is it’s often a slow descent. You’re ok, and then you have a bad day. And another bad day. Until you realize you can’t remember the last time you had a good day.

It was a bad feeling, knowing the depression had crept up and was already drowning me before I had realized it.

— Lissa Kasey, Model Investigator

And here’s why these books are so important: Because when things are bad, knowing you aren’t alone—that others have struggled and found a way to put your feelings into words—matters.

It helps to know that it’s not just you, to remember you have come out the other side before, and you can do it again.

 

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

Veterans Crisis Line Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and press 1 or text to 838255

Mental Health Resources

MentalHealth.gov

NAMI

NIMH

The Right Resources Can Help You Manage Depression

5 Action Steps for Helping Someone in Emotional Pain

 

---

 

Books with Depression Representation

 

Romance: Contemporary

Getting it Right (2015) A.M. Arthur (Restoration) main character, supporting character

The Charm Offensive (2021) Alison Cochrun, main character

Glitterland (2018) Alexis Hall (Spires) main character

London Calling series by Alexis Hall, main character (Contemporary Romance): Boyfriend Material (2020), Husband Material (2022)

Untouchable (2018) Talia Hibbert (Ravenswood) main character

That Kind of Guy (2019) Talia Hibbert (Ravenswood) main character

Work for It (2019) Talia Hibbert, main character

Take a Hint, Dani Brown (2020) Talia Hibbert (Brown Sisters) main character

Invitation to the Blues (2018) Roan Parrish (Small Change) main character

Rend (2018) Roan Parrish (Riven) main character

Better than People (2020) Roan Parrish (Garnet Run) main character

Whiteout (2017) Elyse Springer (Seasons of Love) main character

Team Phison Forever (2019) Chace Verity, main character

American Fairytale (2019) Adriana Herrera, parental

Romance: Historical

After the Wedding (2018) Courtney Milan (Worth Saga) main character

To Charm a Naughty Countess (2014) Theresa Romain, main character (The Matchmaker Trilogy) main character

Secrets of a Scandalous Heiress (2015) Theresa Romain, main character (The Matchmaker Trilogy) main character

Mystery: Contemporary

The Haunted Heart: Winter (2013) Josh Lanyon, main character

Haven Investigations series by Lissa Kasey, main character: Model Citizen (2016), Model Bodyguard (2016), Model Exposure (2017), Model Investigator (2017)

Mystery: Historical

A Case for Christmas (2021) J.A. Rock & Lisa Henry (The Lords of Bucknall Club) main character

Fantasy

Spirits that Walk in Shadow (2006) Nina Kiriki Hoffman main character

Who Killed Sherlock Holmes? (2016) Paul Cornell (Shadow Police) main character

 

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

 

Why Representation in Books Is Important
Mental Health Representation in Books: Anxiety
Mental Health Representation in Books: Grief
Mental Health Representation in Books: PTSD
Mental Health Representation in Books: Addiction and Eating Disorders

 

One of the things that has come recently is visibility in media—being able to see one’s ownself reflected in books and movies etc

Some of people (especially those on the far right) seem to think this is ridiculous. Most of those people are normal white people (quite often male) whose life view is reflected in centuries of art and literature.

Personally, I have found it incredibly enlightening to read stories from others point of view. After all, I learn something about those who are not like me. (As someone who loves fantasy, and escaping to other worlds, this seems sensible.)

But more importantly, in recent years I’ve discovered things about myself I didn’t know before. Things I might not have figured out—or come to accept—if I hadn’t read stories about people with those traits. Because the people in these stories were people I like—people I identified with, especially as the worked (and sometimes struggled) to exist in a world that others sailed through.

It was always a relief it is to see characters in books struggling with the things I do. Yet it was still a shock to see people name those things—names that I had not necessarily associated with myself.

Because of this, I want to point out some of the books and stories that helped me come to terms with who I am and who I have become, but also books that have helped me see things that I do not experience—or at least don’t experience in the same way.

What I want to start with is mental health. Because mental health is complicated.

First off, there’s shame.

Simon didn’t like this side of himself. The side that saw others’ struggles— and how simply they could sometimes overcome them— and raged. Wished he could trade places.

— Roan Parrish. Better Than People

Believing you make things difficult for those around you.

Then I remember that I’ve decided not to be in a bad mood anymore— not with Griffin, which should be easy, since hurting him makes me flinch every time. And not with myself, which will be harder, because hurting me has become a habit.

— Talia Hibbert. Work for It

(T)hat you are too much work for someone to bother with.

“I’m sorry,” Cooper blurted. His heart was beating hard, but fuck it, what were they here for if not this?

Park looked at him. He had that same odd look on his face he’d had when they first got to Jagger Valley that looked so much like nerves, but a little hopeful, too. “For what?”

“Everything. Well, for earlier, and for being, you know, me.” Cooper laughed awkwardly.

“What the hell, Dayton,” Park said, sounding angry. “That’s a horrible thing to say.”

— Charlie Adhara, The Wolf at Bay

Because everything about you is a little bit off, a little bit skewed.

That word opens a fissure inside Dev’s chest. Burden. The way he felt as a kid every time his mom got off work early to take him to therapy.

— Alison Cochrun, The Charm Offensive

And sometimes even those who love you don’t understand.

“I feel awful when I know you’re having a hard time and I can’t fix it.”

“You can’t fix it,” Simon said flatly. “It is me.”

— Roan Parrish. Better Than People

Intellectually you know your friends love you regardless of how prickly and difficult you feel.

“Oliver. It’s not your job to make being with you convenient for me. Just like it’s not my job to make being with me convenient for you.

— Alexis Hall, Husband Material

But it’s still hard.

As you go along, you learn tricks and tools to help manage the things that make you different—the things you struggle with.

He looked at the situation and chose to acknowledge all the dimensions of it.

Dimensions (as he thought of them) weren’t positive or negative. They were simply the truth of how he felt about things.

— Roan Parrish, Best Laid Plans

You keep your expectations within reason.

“Good morning, Jude,” Faron said as they got close.

“Morning,” I said. It never did to qualify things too early.

— Roan Parrish. Invitation to the Blues

You try not to think of the only-ifs.

This part was always the hardest. The moment when he could see the person he would have been— the connections he would have made— if only he weren’t like he goddamn was.

— Roan Parrish. Better Than People

You try to remember that you are a work in progress.

“God, is this going to take years?”

“It’s going to take your whole life,” Felicity says. “But it doesn’t have to be the defining element of it.”

— Mackenzi Lee, The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks

And if you’re me, you try to keep your sense of humor about it all.

“You’ve been through a lot today,” he said. “There’s no need to diminish it.”

“Yeah, but if I don’t diminish things I have to face them at their normal size, and that’s horrible.”

— Alexis Hall. Boyfriend Material

But even with all that, it helps to know you aren’t alone.

“Every choice we make,” James said, “and every path we take are what leads us to the points we’re at today. To the people we love and who love us. Sometimes those paths are horrific, but we wouldn’t be the people we are if we hadn’t traveled them.”

— A.M. Arthur. Getting It Right

 

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

 

Veterans Crisis Line Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and press 1 or text to 838255

Mental Health Resources

MentalHealth.gov

5 Action Steps for Helping Someone in Emotional Pain

 

Mental Health Representation in Books: Depression
Mental Health Representation in Books: Anxiety
Mental Health Representation in Books: Grief
Mental Health Representation in Books: PTSD
Mental Health Representation in Books: Addiction and Eating Disorders
Representation in Books: Injury
Representation in Books: Illness
Representation in Books: Neurodiversity

 

July was busy, and slipped past me when I wasn’t paying attention.

A fair amount of rereading this month, because I’ve been feeling extra vulnerable. But I did manage some new reads, including two new releases!

Dianne Freeman’s latest book, Countess of Harleigh, A Bride’s Guide to Marriage and Murder is a series I’ve very much been enjoying and enjoyed this book as much as the previous ones. And I was finally able to borrow An Impossible Impostor from the library. I like this series, but not quite as much as the other, and Deanna Raybourn is popular enough I don’t fear that series ending any time soon.

Although it wasn’t one of my favorite books, I appreciated Andrew Grey’s Twice Baked for some of the twists it did NOT take.

Speaking of books that stuck with me, I reread Dahlia Donovan’s Sin Bin series, and was as drawn into as much this time as I was the first read—far more than the average rating I gave it, which had to do more with the need for editing and the inconsistencies that stemmed from that than anything else. These stories did all sorts of unusual things, including one book with an unflinching look at chemotherapy and dealing with cancer, and another book that was about a rescued man and the years it took him to recover himself (and the patience of the man courting him). Both of these stories faced difficult topics, but did so with sensitivity, and I deeply cared about what happened to the characters.

There were also some disappointing books, but the rereads made up for it.

 

Mystery, Historical

The Thief-Takers by Alissa Johnson
A Talent for Trickery (2015) 8.5/10, A Gift for Guile (2016) 8.5/10, A Dangerous Deceit (2017) 8/10
A Bride’s Guide to Marriage and Murder (2022) Dianne Freeman (Countess of Harleigh Mystery) 8/10
An Impossible Impostor (2022) Deanna Raybourn (Veronica Speedwell) 8/10

Mystery

Renovated to Death (2022) Frank Anthony Polito
Murder in Pastel (2015) Josh Lanyon 7/10

Science Fiction

Fugitive Telemetry (2021) Martha Wells (The Murderbot Diaries) 9.5/10

Romance

The Sin Bin by Dahlia Donovan
After the Scrum (2016) 8/10, The Wanderer (2017) 8/10, The Caretaker (2017) 7.5/10, The Botanist (2017) 7.5/10, The Royal Marine (2017), The Unexpected Santa (2017),
The Lion Tamer (2018) 7.5/10
Color of You (2017) C.S. Poe (A Lancaster Story) 7.5/10
Twice Baked (2019) Andrew Grey 7/10
The Cubby Hole: A Bear Camp Short (2022) Slade James 7/10

Fantasy

The House in the Cerulean Sea (2020) TJ Klune 9/10

Non Fiction

Pandemic 1918: Eyewitness Accounts from the Greatest Medical Holocaust in Modern History (2018) Catharine Arnold

Audio Books

Soulwood, Audio Edition by Faith Hunter narrated by Khristine Hvam
Flame in the Dark, Audio Edition (2017) 8.5/10, Circle of the Moon, Audio Edition (2019), Spells for the Dead, Audio Edition (2019) 7/10

I know I haven’t been doing stats recently, but as a quick update: I’m at 140 books for the year, which is a lot slower than the past several years, but that’s still 20 books a month. And I’m at about 35% rereads, which is down from last year where almost 50% of the books I read were rereads, which is possibly a sign I’m starting to feel a little better.

Maybe.

 

Slow reading month. Partially because we’ve been hiking and partially because I’m dealing with stuff-including medication changes (Ah, brain chemistry) that are messing with me.

I finally read Alexis Hall’s Prosperity series, which was wonderful. I’ll note that there are stories in the second book that really didn’t work for me (because: me), but overall it was just another reminder of how delightful Alexis Hall is.

I’m dropping Joanne Fluke’s Hannah Swensen series for awhile. Mostly because I got tired of the romantic triangle. I tend to dislike romantic triangles as a trope, so extending one over multiple books in a series is just: UGH.

For comfort I reread The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells. Because: Murderbot.

And I read another non-fiction book! Monster, She Wrote: The Women Who Pioneered Horror and Speculative Fiction (2019) Lisa Kröger and Melanie R. Anderson. This seems like the perfect book for Eric.

Fantasy

Prosperity series Alexis Hall
Prosperity (2018) 8/10, Liberty & Other Stories (2018) 7.5/10

Romance

Lancaster series C.S. Poe
Kneading You (2016) 8/10, Joy (2017) 9.5/10

Historical Romance

The Soldier’s Dark Secret (2015) Marguerite Kaye (Comrades in Arms) 8/10

Cozy Mystery

Hannah Swensen series Joanne Fluke
Fudge Cupcake Murder (2004), Sugar Cookie Murder (2004), Peach Cobbler Murder (2005)

Science Fiction

The Murderbot Diaries Martha Wells

Artificial Condition (2018) 10/10, Rogue Protocol (2018) 10/10, Exit Strategy (2018) 9.5/10, Network Effect (2020) 9.5/10

Non Fiction

Monster, She Wrote: The Women Who Pioneered Horror and Speculative Fiction (2019) Lisa Kröger and Melanie R. Anderson 8/10

Audio Book

Shattered Bonds, Audio Book (2019) Faith Hunter narrated by Khristine Hvam (Jane Yellowrock) 8/10

When I said that Maine seemed to have a thing about Rhododendrons, I wasn’t kidding. This was an entire garden dedicated to them.

Asticou Azalea Garden

This is actually a common wild Rhododendron, which I had never seen before.

This counts as a tree frog, right?

Although I uploaded a ton of pictures to iNaturalist, trying ID the various flowers, trees, and shrubs, I also saw a variety of more mobile creatures. (And also uploaded them to iNaturalist)

I mean, look how adorable!!!!

Long-claw Hermit Crab Pagurus longicarpus

Common Eider Somateria mollissima

Black Guillemot Cepphus grylle

Harbor Seal Phoca vitulina

Common Loon Gavia immer (with chicks!)

Green Frog Lithobates clamitans (hiding in a tamarack)

American Bullfrog Lithobates catesbeianus

Once again I was desperately wishing for a good zoom lens when I was trying t get good pictures of these creatures whose details I couldn’t make out with the naked eye. But I don’t think I did too bad with what I had.

These were taken at the Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens at the end of May.

I’ve not seen a red bleeding heart around here!

Rhododendron was surprisingly popular in Maine.

They had a fairy garden section, which was cute.

But mostly I just liked the rocks.

Since we were in Maine for several days, we managed to visit some places we might not have otherwise.

One was Lamoine State Park. It seemed to be mostly a boat launch, but it was late evening and overcast, so it was perfect for a walk along the beach.

Where I got to look at more rocks.

The tide was out, and I eventually discovered what was crunching under my feet.

At which point I moved up from the water line and mostly hopped from rock to rock where I could see there were no snails.

Which is fine because that’s where the fascinating rocks were.

I mean.

OK, yeah, I also enjoyed looking out across the water. That was fine.

Since we were in the area for several days, we had lots of time to explore Acadia, which was nice, since it let us explore instead of having to hit all the highlights before we ran out of time.

Were the places I wanted to hike we didn’t? Definitely. But that’s true for just about every place except Coopers Rock SF.

The first thing we did was (of course) take a scenic drive of the area. I got one of the driving guide books at the visitor center, and we used that to guide us.

We also did a short-ish hike on the Gorham Mountain trail.

We also accidentally hiked up to Bubble Rock.

How do you accidentally hike up to a ridge line? Failing to look at the map and a stubborn refusal to turn around are the answer.

Of course I best liked (wait for it!) the rocky shores.

The next day we did the drive up Cadillac Mountain.

The view was amazing, but there was very little shade, so it was not my favorite spot of the visit.

The drive on Schoodic Point was gorgeous.

We also did some walking on the Carriage roads, which were fascinating in and of themselves, nevermind the scenery

And I was delighted to get to see new wildlife.

Our second stop in Maine (the first was the Maine Coastal Botanical Gardens) was Pemaquid Point Lighthouse Park.

I spent a lot of time walking on and scrambling around the rocky shore. (I may or may not have been singing Birdhouse in your Soul while doing so.)

Yeah, that’s a nice view and all.

BUT THESE ROCKS ARE AMAZING!

SUCH AMAZING ROCKS!

Also, I listened to the ocean a bit.

But really, it was mostly the rocks.

There’s a picture opposite me
Of my primitive ancestry
Which stood on rocky shores
And kept the beaches shipwreck-free
Though I respect that a lot
I’d be fired if that were my job
After killing Jason off
And countless screaming Argonauts

I read an surprisingly wide variety of genres this week. And it was 2019 the last time I read so few books in a single month. But I did a fair amount of hiking and traveling in May, so I’m going to chalk it up to that (even if it isn’t that).

I’d also like to note THREE new release reads this month! And they were all enjoyable! (That’s actually not unexpected.) And only TWO rereads! (one of which was an audio book, and I can rarely listen to books I haven’t read before.)

I’m also slowly going through Joanne Fluke’s Hannah Swensen series–mostly borrowing from the library, because they’re nice, but they’re not fantastic.

 

Non Fiction

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Identity, and the Meaning of Sex (2020) Angela Chen 8/10
Women in White Coats: How the First Women Doctors Changed the World of Medicine (2021) Olivia Campbell

 

Historical Mystery

A Perilous Perspective (2022) Anna Lee Huber (Lady Darby Mystery) 8/10

 

Cozy Mystery

The Vanishing Type (2022) Ellery Adams (Secret, Book, & Scone Society) 7.5/10
Hannah Swensen series by Joanne Fluke
Strawberry Shortcake Murder (2001); 7/10; Blueberry Muffin Murder (2002); Lemon Meringue Pie Murder (2003)

 

Science Fiction

All Systems Red (2017) Martha Wells (The Murderbot Diaries) 10/10

 

Romance

Wrong Number, Right Woman (2020) Jae 7/10

 

Audio Book

Dark Queen, Audio Edition (2018) Faith Hunter narrated by Khristine Hvam (Jane Yellowrock) 8/10

 

Supernatural Fantasy

Amongst Our Weapons (2022) Ben Aaronovitch (Rivers of London) 8/10

 

One of my goals for this trip was to check three more states off my “visited” list: Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire.

Also, I don’t much care for interstates, so we took primarily back roads on our drive to Maine. And two of my proposals were to drive through the Green Mountains of Vermont and the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

We spent so long at the Botanical Garden we visited in New York we didn’t get any stops in the Green Mountains of Vermont, but had a scenic drive the next day through the White Mountains.

I have to say that aside from our stop, New Hampshire was kind of disappointing and I’d rather have spent more time in Vermont.

But that stop me made?

Excellent.

At the start of the White Mountain Scenic Route is Flume Gorge State Park. It was a pretty hefty admission fee to get in, but since it was vacation, we splurged.

It was worth it.

It starts out somewhat slow, and you walk up to a cascade down a hill of rock.

Pretty, but I’ve hiked places like that in West Virginia–and could go out on the rocks.

Then you come to a boardwalk that runs alongside the Flume Brook.

Then, up ahead, you can see the walls starting to narrow and the creek getting louder.

The gorge narrows and is stunning.

Then you come to the waterfall.

But that’s not the end. You walk gravel trails (some steep) to high point where you can look into the valley.

Through some more forest and finally across a bridge above the Pemigewasset River.

There is more of a walk through the forest, on a very well maintained path, some large trees, lots of wild flowers, and glacier boulders.

So, despite how expensive it was, I very much enjoyed the walk.

But I’d still like to go back to Vermont to hike in the Green Mountains.

Hard to believe, but we actually left the house for an extended period of time.

It was weird.

I’m still not ok being indoors unmasked (and I’m never ok with crowded places). Luckily, we spent the majority of our time outdoors.

We drove to Maine with my mother, and our first stop was a place we visited a decade ago: Hickory Run State Park.

The main draw is the boulder field.

I can hear you being unimpressed, so… do you see the people in the above picture?

Does that help? Do you see the person in the red jacket? And all the people past them?

This picture of Michael? There are at least twelve people behind him to the left, and at least one behind him to the right.

This boulder field is more than 20,000 years old. It’s a giant lake of boulders stretching 400 feet by 1,800 feet, and as deep as 12 feet in places.

It’s very hard to walk on (I wished I’d had two hiking sticks and not just one) but very much worth it to go out even a few feet and to see just how stunning the boulder field truly is.

Just don’t look down too closely.

So very many giant spiders.

There are other things to do in the park, and we did manage a brief hike.

We would have taken a longer hike, but when it rained on us, we headed back.

I did get this short clip of Sand Spring Run along the trail.

Flower pr0n from far places.

Mountain Top Arboretum (Tannersville, NY)

Larch!

Paper birch

Water lilies

(Not a flower)

Marsh