Living with anxiety can be even stranger than living with depression. Because everyone feels anxious sometimes, so how do you know if it’s normal anxiety or excessive anxiety?

First through, you have to recognize it is anxiety, not physical illness.

Hannah felt as if her body and her soul were shaking at different frequencies, like she could fall out of her own flesh at any moment. Her heart pounded so hard, she was worried it might actually come loose. That didn’t sound medically possible, but anxiety could be a real bitch sometimes.

— Talia Hibbert, Untouchable

Because anxiety can feel like something is physically wrong; your brain can create physical symptoms.

Martin bit his lip, hard, and breathed through his nose, trying to slow down the panicky beat of his heart. The sensation wasn’t unfamiliar. He’d just never realized what this was before, that a person could have tiny little bursts of terror from only a few words.

— R Cooper, His Mossy Boy

Even knowing what is happening doesn’t make it easier to cope, because you don’t have control over it.

Simon wished the floor would open up and swallow him. He sucked in a tight breath through nostrils narrowed with panic and squeezed his eyes shut tight so he couldn’t see himself be seen.

— Roan Parrish, Better Than People

You have to try and pay attention to how you feel, so you can find the things that cause problems—that set off your anxiety.

(T)alking on the phone gave him enough anxiety as it was. Never knowing whether a call might turn nasty made him dread it every time he was given a ring.

— Aidan Wayne, Play It Again

Even when you know what it is, even when you have tools to deal with it, it still doesn’t go away.

That was the thing about anxiety— worries over whether to take the medication and when could be worse than the primary symptoms sometimes.

— Annabeth Albert, Conventionally Yours

Like depression, anxiety feels like something you should be able to deal with—to control—with willpower alone.

“(W)hat if you’d gone to Sidney’s and said you were super anxious and couldn’t do the show in that exact moment?”

“But I’d said I would.”

“I know, but you… couldn’t.” She’d gone all gentle. “You had a panic attack. It’s not like you could just reschedule it for when it was more convenient.”

“Sometimes I can cover it up for a while.”

— Kris Ripper, The Love Study

But that’s not how mental health works.

There are things you can do.

He cut off his thought spiral and pictured windshield wipers clearing the troubling images from his mind.

— Roan Parrish, Best Laid Plans

Tricks you can use to redirect your brain.

Cooper felt the discomfort that had been prickling at the base of his skull since the market bloom across his skin. You don’t belong here. He told that voice to fuck off

— Charlie Adhara, Thrown to the Wolves

Even physical things like exercise to burn off what feels like excess energy.

(T)he high school therapist who told him exercise might help reduce his anxiety, about consequently becoming obsessed with exercise.

— Alison Cochrun, The Charm Offensive

To move when remaining still is overwhelming.

He was barely holding himself together and had enough nervous energy running through his body to fuel a walk to Sussex and back. He didn’t think he could take being cooped up in a carriage.

— Cat Sebastian, The Lawrence Browne Affair

But even with tricks, you still doubt yourself.

Why? What the hell about him had Park seen and thought, Oh yes, anxiety-ridden loner with a temper sharper than a serpent’s tooth and a deep-seated fear of change whose longest successful relationship is with an equally judgmental cat? Swoon. It seemed too improbable for words.

— Charlie Adhara, Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Because the things you believe about yourself may be irrational, but they are still things you believe.

It was as if he thought he only had one chance and he had to find the right idea, the perfect idea, before he began. As if he thought I might not get him another box, and another and another, until he’d created every single display he might want.

— Roan Parrish, Raze

You can’t help yourself.

“It’s hard for me to understand why anyone wouldn’t want you in their life.”

I snorted. “Have you met me?”

“Please don’t laugh this off. I mean it.”

“I know. It’s just easier to push people away than watch them leave.” The words hung there, and I wished I could suck them back into my mouth.

— Alexis Hall, Boyfriend Material

You just have to remind yourself that you can keep going.

I nodded and told myself the thing that I knew was true: This cannot actually kill you. Sometimes it helped.

— Roan Parrish, Riven

One day at a time.

“People like to throw around words like closure and forgiveness, but I’ve long suspected that’s because they don’t want to admit how often healing is cruelly arbitrary. Some things just hurt until they don’t anymore and no one can tell you why, so they pretend you must have gotten closure.”

— Charlie Adhara, Cry Wolf

Because it cannot actually kill you. Even when it feels like it’s trying.

 

 

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

 

Veterans Crisis Line Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and press 1 or text to 838255

Here’s Why Your Anxiety Can Cause Some Pretty Gnarly Physical Symptoms

Physical Symptoms of Anxiety: How Does It Feel?

How to Help Someone with Anxiety (John Hopkins)

Tips for Living With Anxiety (WebMD)

Anxiety Overview (VA)

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (ADAA)

Anxiety Disorders: Overview (NIH)

 

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Big Bad Wolf series by Charlie Adhara, main character (Contemporary Fantasy): The Wolf at the Door (2018), The Wolf at Bay (2018), Thrown to the Wolves (2019), Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing (2020), Cry Wolf (2021)

Conventionally Yours (2020) Annabeth Albert, main character (Contemporary Romance)

The Charm Offensive (2021) Alison Cochrun, main character (Contemporary Romance)

Vincent’s Thanksgiving Date (2014) R Cooper, main character (Contemporary Romance)

His Mossy Boy (2017) R Cooper (Beings in Love) main character (Contemporary Fantasy)

Jericho Candelario’s Gay Debut (2018) R Cooper, parent Contemporary (Contemporary Romance)

After the Scrum (2014) Dahlia Donovan (Sin Bin series) main character (Contemporary Romance)

Poisoned Primrose (2020) Dahlia Donovan (Motts Cold Case series) main character (Contemporary Mystery)

London Calling series by Alexis Hall, main character (Contemporary Romance): Boyfriend Material (2020), Husband Material (2022)

Untouchable (2018) Talia Hibbert (Ravenswood) main character (Contemporary Romance)

Work for It (2019) Talia Hibbert, main character (Contemporary Romance)

Take a Hint, Dani Brown (2020) Talia Hibbert (Brown Sisters) main character (Contemporary Romance)

Stalked by Shadows (2019) Lissa Kasey (Simply Crafty) main character (Contemporary Fantasy)

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue (2017) Mackenzi Lee, main character (Historical Fantasy)

The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks (2021) Mackenzi Lee, main character (Historical Fantasy)

After the Wedding (2018) Courtney Milan (Worth Saga) main character (Historical Romance)

Invitation to the Blues (2018) Roan Parrish (Small Change) main character (Contemporary Romance)

Rend (2018) Roan Parrish (Riven) main character (Contemporary Romance)

Better than People (2020) Roan Parrish (Garnet Run) main character (Contemporary Romance)

Best Laid Plans (2021) Roan Parrish (Garnet Run) main character (Contemporary Romance)

The Love Study (2929) Kris Ripper, main character (Contemporary Romance)

To Charm a Naughty Countess (2014) Theresa Romain (The Matchmaker Trilogy) main character (Historical Romance)

A Delicate Deception (2019) Cat Sebastian (Regency Imposter) main character (Historical Romance)

The Lawrence Browne Affair (2017) Cat Sebastian (The Turner Series) main character (Historical Romance)

Play It Again (2019) Aidan Wayne, main character (Contemporary Romance)

 

 

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

 

Mental Health Representation in Books: Depression
Mental Health Representation in Books: Grief
Mental Health Representation in Books: PTSD
Mental Health Representation in Books: Addiction and Eating Disorders

 

As I have written before, depression is something I have dealt with since I was a teen.

A young teen.

I admit my favored genres don’t seem like ones I am likely to see myself in (fantasy and historical mystery) Except that genre books often have excellent representation—after all, the relatable bits of those stories are about people.

I have read so very many passages in so very many books and immediately thought, “That! That is how I feel!” So, I’m sharing some of the ways books have clarified or shown a light on things I didn’t have the words for myself.

Depression and anxiety were self-abnegating and self-centering at the same time. It was so easy to believe that because my feelings were huge, they exerted a force beyond me. It was so easy to forget that even though I was always being forced to think about myself, not everyone else did.

— Roan Parrish, Invitation to the Blues

It’s hard to step outside yourself—even when you aren’t depressed. But when you are depressed it’s can feel impossible.

I was in my head, and that was the worst place for anyone to be, especially me.

— Alexis Hall, Boyfriend Material

When you’re in a depressive episode, it’s almost impossible to escape your own head.

I couldn’t breathe and I was running through every single shitty thing I’d ever done, pulling my mistakes around me like some kind of armor against the hope of anything good.

— Riven, Roan Parrish

There is isolation, a feeling of being trapped with your own brain.

I’d give my blood or my firstborn or my voice or my entire bloody inheritance for a mind that does not stand on the opposite side of the battlefield from me.

— Mackenzi Lee, The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks

You can see the things that other people have, but can’t believe they will ever be for you.

“I suppose you weren’t in the mood for any of Callie’s lovely barbecues last summer?”

No, Zach hadn’t been. Although, his mood might have improved if anyone had thought to invite him to those barbecues. Or tell him he’d been missed. Or ask if he was okay. Or remember he existed at all.

— Talia Hibbert, That Kind of Guy

And you know other people are judging you, making assumptions.

(S)he was, as people loved to put it, mentally unstable. (They thought) unbelievably common blips in brain chemistry made her some kind of separate species.

— Talia Hibbert, Untouchable

Thing is, you’re not doing this on purpose. You know things aren’t right. You want to make things better.

“When I’m depressed,” Nate said casually, “I always know what I should be doing. I know exactly. I just don’t do it.”

— Talia Hibbert, Untouchable

You know your friends aren’t judging you, but are certain they must be disappointed in you.

I’d fuck up and let them down, they’d feel sad, I’d feel sad, they’d feel sad for making me feel sad, and so on, and so on, and so on. As if I didn’t bear enough frustration and regret on my own account, without also feeling guilty for hurting the people who loved me.

— Alexis Hall, Glitterland

Even when trying to be helpful, people don’t get that there is nothing they can do to make you better. The demons are in your head and as much as you want to excise them—you can’t.

They wanted to make things okay for me, as if cooking the right dinner or renting the right movie might fundamentally change the way my brain worked. It was painful to watch. Painful to see them flounder over and over to turn the world into a place I could fit.

— Roan Parrish, Invitation to the Blues

Which leads to hiding from everyone, because you lack the ability to explain yourself, which makes everything too much work.

I suppose that’s what comes of purposefully avoiding everyone you love. But I had to— have to— stay away from them, at least until I’m not so miserable, so distant, such a burden. Don’t I?

— Talia Hibbert, Work for It

And doing everything you can to hide how much you are struggling from those who might notice.

The nice thing about heavy sweaters was you could wear them a long time without having to wash them, but still. There was a limit. There were a lot of limits, actually. Since grooming was one of those things people watched for, I made sure to clean beneath my fingernails and behind my ears.

— Josh Lanyon, The Haunted Heart: Winter

Sometimes the problem is the things you do, but sometimes it’s things you don’t do.

He closed his eyes. He hadn’t told his brother that he hadn’t drawn in eight months.

— Roan Parrish, Better Than People

When you’re struggling, you feel alone. It doesn’t matter what people say, because your brain is so much louder than anyone else’s words.

“(I)t’s difficult, sometimes, for me to understand that I have the power to hurt someone. You see, it requires me to accept that somebody might like me in the first place.”

— Alexis Hall, Glitterland

There is also the knowledge that even if things are okay today, that doesn’t mean it all won’t come crashing down tomorrow.

(E)very day when I was okay shimmered with a threat just out of view. I’d stop in the middle of doing something and check in: did I still feel okay? I did. I would reassure myself, See! You are still okay! But once I began to look down and check that the ground was still flat, every step felt like the one that might suddenly slope downhill. And even when it didn’t, the edge felt like it was growing nearer and each day became more and more vertiginous.

— Roan Parrish, Invitation to the Blues

You try do the right things, because you know they help.

“Plus this”—Charlie adopts Dev’s frantic hand gesture—“this is for my mental health. All the exercise, I mean. I don’t do it because I care what my body looks like. I do it because I care how my brain feels.”

— Alison Cochrun, The Charm Offensive

And meds help—they do! But even with meds the world can still come crashing down around you.

I wouldn’t have called myself a superstitious man, but when it came to the intricacies of my biochemistry, the complexities of my illness, I was as helpless as a frightened child who prayed to a god called science.

— Alexis Hall, Glitterland

Even when everything was fine, when she should be great, unease stalked her like a predator. Because she knew that at any moment, things might change. Her own fucking brain chemistry, the traitor, might drag her out of her body again.

— Talia Hibbert, Untouchable

What’s harder is it’s often a slow descent. You’re ok, and then you have a bad day. And another bad day. Until you realize you can’t remember the last time you had a good day.

It was a bad feeling, knowing the depression had crept up and was already drowning me before I had realized it.

— Lissa Kasey, Model Investigator

And here’s why these books are so important: Because when things are bad, knowing you aren’t alone—that others have struggled and found a way to put your feelings into words—matters.

It helps to know that it’s not just you, to remember you have come out the other side before, and you can do it again.

 

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

Veterans Crisis Line Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and press 1 or text to 838255

Mental Health Resources

MentalHealth.gov

NAMI

NIMH

The Right Resources Can Help You Manage Depression

5 Action Steps for Helping Someone in Emotional Pain

 

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Books with Depression Representation

 

Romance: Contemporary

Getting it Right (2015) A.M. Arthur (Restoration) main character, supporting character

The Charm Offensive (2021) Alison Cochrun, main character

Glitterland (2018) Alexis Hall (Spires) main character

London Calling series by Alexis Hall, main character (Contemporary Romance): Boyfriend Material (2020), Husband Material (2022)

Untouchable (2018) Talia Hibbert (Ravenswood) main character

That Kind of Guy (2019) Talia Hibbert (Ravenswood) main character

Work for It (2019) Talia Hibbert, main character

Take a Hint, Dani Brown (2020) Talia Hibbert (Brown Sisters) main character

Invitation to the Blues (2018) Roan Parrish (Small Change) main character

Rend (2018) Roan Parrish (Riven) main character

Better than People (2020) Roan Parrish (Garnet Run) main character

Whiteout (2017) Elyse Springer (Seasons of Love) main character

Team Phison Forever (2019) Chace Verity, main character

American Fairytale (2019) Adriana Herrera, parental

Romance: Historical

After the Wedding (2018) Courtney Milan (Worth Saga) main character

To Charm a Naughty Countess (2014) Theresa Romain, main character (The Matchmaker Trilogy) main character

Secrets of a Scandalous Heiress (2015) Theresa Romain, main character (The Matchmaker Trilogy) main character

Mystery: Contemporary

The Haunted Heart: Winter (2013) Josh Lanyon, main character

Haven Investigations series by Lissa Kasey, main character: Model Citizen (2016), Model Bodyguard (2016), Model Exposure (2017), Model Investigator (2017)

Mystery: Historical

A Case for Christmas (2021) J.A. Rock & Lisa Henry (The Lords of Bucknall Club) main character

Fantasy

Spirits that Walk in Shadow (2006) Nina Kiriki Hoffman main character

Who Killed Sherlock Holmes? (2016) Paul Cornell (Shadow Police) main character

 

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

 

Why Representation in Books Is Important
Mental Health Representation in Books: Anxiety
Mental Health Representation in Books: Grief
Mental Health Representation in Books: PTSD
Mental Health Representation in Books: Addiction and Eating Disorders

 

One of the things that has come recently is visibility in media—being able to see one’s ownself reflected in books and movies etc

Some of people (especially those on the far right) seem to think this is ridiculous. Most of those people are normal white people (quite often male) whose life view is reflected in centuries of art and literature.

Personally, I have found it incredibly enlightening to read stories from others point of view. After all, I learn something about those who are not like me. (As someone who loves fantasy, and escaping to other worlds, this seems sensible.)

But more importantly, in recent years I’ve discovered things about myself I didn’t know before. Things I might not have figured out—or come to accept—if I hadn’t read stories about people with those traits. Because the people in these stories were people I like—people I identified with, especially as the worked (and sometimes struggled) to exist in a world that others sailed through.

It was always a relief it is to see characters in books struggling with the things I do. Yet it was still a shock to see people name those things—names that I had not necessarily associated with myself.

Because of this, I want to point out some of the books and stories that helped me come to terms with who I am and who I have become, but also books that have helped me see things that I do not experience—or at least don’t experience in the same way.

What I want to start with is mental health. Because mental health is complicated.

First off, there’s shame.

Simon didn’t like this side of himself. The side that saw others’ struggles— and how simply they could sometimes overcome them— and raged. Wished he could trade places.

— Roan Parrish. Better Than People

Believing you make things difficult for those around you.

Then I remember that I’ve decided not to be in a bad mood anymore— not with Griffin, which should be easy, since hurting him makes me flinch every time. And not with myself, which will be harder, because hurting me has become a habit.

— Talia Hibbert. Work for It

(T)hat you are too much work for someone to bother with.

“I’m sorry,” Cooper blurted. His heart was beating hard, but fuck it, what were they here for if not this?

Park looked at him. He had that same odd look on his face he’d had when they first got to Jagger Valley that looked so much like nerves, but a little hopeful, too. “For what?”

“Everything. Well, for earlier, and for being, you know, me.” Cooper laughed awkwardly.

“What the hell, Dayton,” Park said, sounding angry. “That’s a horrible thing to say.”

— Charlie Adhara, The Wolf at Bay

Because everything about you is a little bit off, a little bit skewed.

That word opens a fissure inside Dev’s chest. Burden. The way he felt as a kid every time his mom got off work early to take him to therapy.

— Alison Cochrun, The Charm Offensive

And sometimes even those who love you don’t understand.

“I feel awful when I know you’re having a hard time and I can’t fix it.”

“You can’t fix it,” Simon said flatly. “It is me.”

— Roan Parrish. Better Than People

Intellectually you know your friends love you regardless of how prickly and difficult you feel.

“Oliver. It’s not your job to make being with you convenient for me. Just like it’s not my job to make being with me convenient for you.

— Alexis Hall, Husband Material

But it’s still hard.

As you go along, you learn tricks and tools to help manage the things that make you different—the things you struggle with.

He looked at the situation and chose to acknowledge all the dimensions of it.

Dimensions (as he thought of them) weren’t positive or negative. They were simply the truth of how he felt about things.

— Roan Parrish, Best Laid Plans

You keep your expectations within reason.

“Good morning, Jude,” Faron said as they got close.

“Morning,” I said. It never did to qualify things too early.

— Roan Parrish. Invitation to the Blues

You try not to think of the only-ifs.

This part was always the hardest. The moment when he could see the person he would have been— the connections he would have made— if only he weren’t like he goddamn was.

— Roan Parrish. Better Than People

You try to remember that you are a work in progress.

“God, is this going to take years?”

“It’s going to take your whole life,” Felicity says. “But it doesn’t have to be the defining element of it.”

— Mackenzi Lee, The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks

And if you’re me, you try to keep your sense of humor about it all.

“You’ve been through a lot today,” he said. “There’s no need to diminish it.”

“Yeah, but if I don’t diminish things I have to face them at their normal size, and that’s horrible.”

— Alexis Hall. Boyfriend Material

But even with all that, it helps to know you aren’t alone.

“Every choice we make,” James said, “and every path we take are what leads us to the points we’re at today. To the people we love and who love us. Sometimes those paths are horrific, but we wouldn’t be the people we are if we hadn’t traveled them.”

— A.M. Arthur. Getting It Right

 

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

 

Veterans Crisis Line Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and press 1 or text to 838255

Mental Health Resources

MentalHealth.gov

5 Action Steps for Helping Someone in Emotional Pain

 

Mental Health Representation in Books: Depression
Mental Health Representation in Books: Anxiety
Mental Health Representation in Books: Grief
Mental Health Representation in Books: PTSD
Mental Health Representation in Books: Addiction and Eating Disorders
Representation in Books: Injury
Representation in Books: Illness
Representation in Books: Neurodiversity

 

July was busy, and slipped past me when I wasn’t paying attention.

A fair amount of rereading this month, because I’ve been feeling extra vulnerable. But I did manage some new reads, including two new releases!

Dianne Freeman’s latest book, Countess of Harleigh, A Bride’s Guide to Marriage and Murder is a series I’ve very much been enjoying and enjoyed this book as much as the previous ones. And I was finally able to borrow An Impossible Impostor from the library. I like this series, but not quite as much as the other, and Deanna Raybourn is popular enough I don’t fear that series ending any time soon.

Although it wasn’t one of my favorite books, I appreciated Andrew Grey’s Twice Baked for some of the twists it did NOT take.

Speaking of books that stuck with me, I reread Dahlia Donovan’s Sin Bin series, and was as drawn into as much this time as I was the first read—far more than the average rating I gave it, which had to do more with the need for editing and the inconsistencies that stemmed from that than anything else. These stories did all sorts of unusual things, including one book with an unflinching look at chemotherapy and dealing with cancer, and another book that was about a rescued man and the years it took him to recover himself (and the patience of the man courting him). Both of these stories faced difficult topics, but did so with sensitivity, and I deeply cared about what happened to the characters.

There were also some disappointing books, but the rereads made up for it.

 

Mystery, Historical

The Thief-Takers by Alissa Johnson
A Talent for Trickery (2015) 8.5/10, A Gift for Guile (2016) 8.5/10, A Dangerous Deceit (2017) 8/10
A Bride’s Guide to Marriage and Murder (2022) Dianne Freeman (Countess of Harleigh Mystery) 8/10
An Impossible Impostor (2022) Deanna Raybourn (Veronica Speedwell) 8/10

Mystery

Renovated to Death (2022) Frank Anthony Polito
Murder in Pastel (2015) Josh Lanyon 7/10

Science Fiction

Fugitive Telemetry (2021) Martha Wells (The Murderbot Diaries) 9.5/10

Romance

The Sin Bin by Dahlia Donovan
After the Scrum (2016) 8/10, The Wanderer (2017) 8/10, The Caretaker (2017) 7.5/10, The Botanist (2017) 7.5/10, The Royal Marine (2017), The Unexpected Santa (2017),
The Lion Tamer (2018) 7.5/10
Color of You (2017) C.S. Poe (A Lancaster Story) 7.5/10
Twice Baked (2019) Andrew Grey 7/10
The Cubby Hole: A Bear Camp Short (2022) Slade James 7/10

Fantasy

The House in the Cerulean Sea (2020) TJ Klune 9/10

Non Fiction

Pandemic 1918: Eyewitness Accounts from the Greatest Medical Holocaust in Modern History (2018) Catharine Arnold

Audio Books

Soulwood, Audio Edition by Faith Hunter narrated by Khristine Hvam
Flame in the Dark, Audio Edition (2017) 8.5/10, Circle of the Moon, Audio Edition (2019), Spells for the Dead, Audio Edition (2019) 7/10

I know I haven’t been doing stats recently, but as a quick update: I’m at 140 books for the year, which is a lot slower than the past several years, but that’s still 20 books a month. And I’m at about 35% rereads, which is down from last year where almost 50% of the books I read were rereads, which is possibly a sign I’m starting to feel a little better.

Maybe.

 

Slow reading month. Partially because we’ve been hiking and partially because I’m dealing with stuff-including medication changes (Ah, brain chemistry) that are messing with me.

I finally read Alexis Hall’s Prosperity series, which was wonderful. I’ll note that there are stories in the second book that really didn’t work for me (because: me), but overall it was just another reminder of how delightful Alexis Hall is.

I’m dropping Joanne Fluke’s Hannah Swensen series for awhile. Mostly because I got tired of the romantic triangle. I tend to dislike romantic triangles as a trope, so extending one over multiple books in a series is just: UGH.

For comfort I reread The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells. Because: Murderbot.

And I read another non-fiction book! Monster, She Wrote: The Women Who Pioneered Horror and Speculative Fiction (2019) Lisa Kröger and Melanie R. Anderson. This seems like the perfect book for Eric.

Fantasy

Prosperity series Alexis Hall
Prosperity (2018) 8/10, Liberty & Other Stories (2018) 7.5/10

Romance

Lancaster series C.S. Poe
Kneading You (2016) 8/10, Joy (2017) 9.5/10

Historical Romance

The Soldier’s Dark Secret (2015) Marguerite Kaye (Comrades in Arms) 8/10

Cozy Mystery

Hannah Swensen series Joanne Fluke
Fudge Cupcake Murder (2004), Sugar Cookie Murder (2004), Peach Cobbler Murder (2005)

Science Fiction

The Murderbot Diaries Martha Wells

Artificial Condition (2018) 10/10, Rogue Protocol (2018) 10/10, Exit Strategy (2018) 9.5/10, Network Effect (2020) 9.5/10

Non Fiction

Monster, She Wrote: The Women Who Pioneered Horror and Speculative Fiction (2019) Lisa Kröger and Melanie R. Anderson 8/10

Audio Book

Shattered Bonds, Audio Book (2019) Faith Hunter narrated by Khristine Hvam (Jane Yellowrock) 8/10

I read an surprisingly wide variety of genres this week. And it was 2019 the last time I read so few books in a single month. But I did a fair amount of hiking and traveling in May, so I’m going to chalk it up to that (even if it isn’t that).

I’d also like to note THREE new release reads this month! And they were all enjoyable! (That’s actually not unexpected.) And only TWO rereads! (one of which was an audio book, and I can rarely listen to books I haven’t read before.)

I’m also slowly going through Joanne Fluke’s Hannah Swensen series–mostly borrowing from the library, because they’re nice, but they’re not fantastic.

 

Non Fiction

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Identity, and the Meaning of Sex (2020) Angela Chen 8/10
Women in White Coats: How the First Women Doctors Changed the World of Medicine (2021) Olivia Campbell

 

Historical Mystery

A Perilous Perspective (2022) Anna Lee Huber (Lady Darby Mystery) 8/10

 

Cozy Mystery

The Vanishing Type (2022) Ellery Adams (Secret, Book, & Scone Society) 7.5/10
Hannah Swensen series by Joanne Fluke
Strawberry Shortcake Murder (2001); 7/10; Blueberry Muffin Murder (2002); Lemon Meringue Pie Murder (2003)

 

Science Fiction

All Systems Red (2017) Martha Wells (The Murderbot Diaries) 10/10

 

Romance

Wrong Number, Right Woman (2020) Jae 7/10

 

Audio Book

Dark Queen, Audio Edition (2018) Faith Hunter narrated by Khristine Hvam (Jane Yellowrock) 8/10

 

Supernatural Fantasy

Amongst Our Weapons (2022) Ben Aaronovitch (Rivers of London) 8/10

 

It’s been a strange month.

I mean, the past several years have been weird, but this was personal oddity as opposed to (gestures at everything)

But I read some books. (Of course I did.) Just fewer than I have in awhile. Which isn’t bad, since I did go hiking every weekend.

And, I even read some new to me books, as well as a book that was published this year.

Because I was having a difficult time, you can see comfort reads there. To be honest, I’m not sure I can tie together why I love these books so much, but these are the books I’ve reached for when I just needed to be enveloped in a book.

And if anyone can tell me what Come Unto These Yellow Sands, Banquet of Lies, Waiting for the Flood, and Grilled Cheese and Goblins: Adventures of a Supernatural Food Inspector all have in common that make me reach for them as comfort reads, I would be delighted for THAT analysis.

Mystery

Come Unto These Yellow Sands (2011) Josh Lanyon 9/10
Homicide and Halo-Halo (2022) Mia P. Manansala  7/10

Historical Mystery

In a Treacherous Court (2011) Michelle Diener 8/10
Regency London by Michelle Diener: Emperor’s Conspiracy (2012) 8.5/10,
Banquet of Lies (2013) 9.5/10, A Dangerous Madness (2014) 8.5/10
Sins of the Cities by KJ Charles: An Unsuitable Heir (2017) 7.5/10, An Unnatural Vice (2017) 8.5/10, An Unseen Attraction (2017) 9/10

Supernatural Fantasy

Grilled Cheese and Goblins: Adventures of a Supernatural Food Inspector (2018) Nicole Kimberling  9.5/10

Romance

The Remaking of Corbin Wale (2018) Roan Parrish 8.5/10
Waiting for the Flood (2018) Alexis Hall  9/10

Nonfiction

Women Warriors: An Unexpected History (2019) Pamela D. Toler 8/10

Audio Books

Within the Sanctuary of Wings: A Memoir by Lady Trent, Audio Version (2017) Marie Brennan narrated by Kate Reading 9/10
The October Man, Audio Version (2019) Ben Aaronovitch narrated by Sam Peter Jackson 8.5/10

 

I didn’t read quite as much as I have been, but sadly, it wasn’t because I was doing other fun things. I was just too scattered to focus, and have several books I was determined to finish, even thought they weren’t working for me.

Luckily, there were some good books in there!

After four years, I thought that Jane Steen‘s Lady Helena series wasn’t going to have another entry, but there was one, and I was delighted by it!

I started (and finished) Amy Lanes Hedge Witches Lonely Heart Club, which had a world building that pulled me in and kept me thinking. I had issues with a couple of things, but mostly I wanted to know what happened, and so I couldn’t stop reading.

I found Sadie Bosque’s An Agreement with the Soldier fascinating, because it it had so many bits that I thought were going to follow the well-worn trope path, but then: THEY TALKED! They used their words and talked! And it was marvelous!

And apparently I’m reading non-fiction again. I highly recommend No Man’s Land: The Trailblazing Women Who Ran Britain’s Most Extraordinary Military Hospital During World War I, because I remain gobsmacked this is something I knew nothing about.

 

Historical Mystery

Lady Odelia’s Secret (2022) Jane Steen (Lady Helena Investigates) 8/10
A Sanctuary for Soulden (2021) J.A. Rock and Lisa Henry (The Lords of Bucknall Club) 8/10
Lessons in Trust (2018) Charlie Cochrane (Cambridge Fellows) 7.5/10

 

Mystery

A Ghost of a Chance (2012) Josh Lanyon

 

Supernatural Fantasy

Hedge Witches Lonely Heart Club by Amy Lane: Shortbread and Shadows (2020) 7/10;
Portals and Puppy Dogs (2021) 7/10; Pentacles and Pelting Plants (2021) 7.5/10;
Heartbeats in a Haunted House (2022) 7.5/10;
Mistlefoe: A Mead Realm Tale (2021) Kimberly Lemming  7.5/10
Mysterious Charm by Celia Lake: Wards of the Roses (2019) 7/10, In the Cards (2019) 7/10
Whirlwind (2021) A. M. Rose (Daydream, Colorado) 7/10
Jane Yellowrock Short Stories Faith Hunter

 

Romance

An Agreement with the Soldier (2021) Sadie Bosque (Necessary Arrangements) 8/10
Summer Makeover (2021) Kelly Fox  7/10
I’m So (Not) Over You (2022) Kosoko Jackson 7/10

 

Non-Fiction

No Man’s Land: The Trailblazing Women Who Ran Britain’s Most Extraordinary Military Hospital During World War I (2020) Wendy Moore 9/10
Women Heroes of World War I: 16 Remarkable Resisters, Soldiers, Spies, and Medics (2014) Kathryn J. Atwood 4/10

 

Audio Books

In the Labyrinth of Drakes: A Memoir by Lady Trent, Audio Book (2016) Marie Brennan narrated by Kate Reading 9/10
Faith Hunter narrated by Khristine Hvam
Curse on the Land (2016) (Soulwood) 8.5/10; Jane Yellowrock:
Shadow Rites Audio Book (2016), 8/10
Cold Reign, Audio Book (2017) 7/10

What did I read in January? Unsurprisingly, a whole lotta books. Let me tell you about them!

I seem to have been in the mood for mysteries, devouring a lot of cozies, including several new releases.

I’ve been a fan of Cat Sebastian for awhile, so I was delighted to see that she had another book in her Page & Summers series. Note it was a 2022 publication and I actually read it the week it was published. I also read the second Pentecost & Parker mystery, which was also good, although in a very different way, since the two are private investigators, and the story is set post WWII rather than post WWI.

I’ve also started a new Ellis Peters series. It was (at the time) a contemporary, and quite different from her Brother Cadfael series, but I’ll read another.

I’m all caught up on Charlie Cochrane’s Lindenshaw Mysteries, and very much enjoyed this cozy series. One partner is a teacher, the other in the police, and the ways Adam gets pulled into Robin’s cases is not utterly ridiculous. I’ve just started her older, historical series. It’s not quite as good as the Londenshaw series, but I did enjoy it.

I finally read the final Inspector Montalbano book. He had written it years earlier, and instructed his agent it was to be published only after his death. It is truly the final Montalbano story.

Comics were more miss than hit this month, although I thoroughly enjoyed Valor: Wands, the second book in that series.

Finally, I want to mention Lissa Kasey’s Reflections on a Curse, which is part of an existing series, but can be read on its own. It’s set during the (continuing) pandemic, but I thought it was handled well. It’s also a story I read a segments after finally joining the Patreon community.

And if you don’t want to count–I read 33 books in January, which is a new high for the month. But to be fair that was 30% novellas and short stories.

Historical Mystery

The Missing Page (2022) Cat Sebastian (Page & Sommers) 8.5/10
Murder Under Her Skin (2021) Stephen Spotswood (Pentecost and Parker) 8/10
Lessons in Love (2008) Charlie Cochrane (Cambridge Fellows) 7/10
Death and the Joyful Woman (1961) Ellis Peters (The Felse Investigations)

Romance

And Everything Nice (2016) Ada Maria Soto 9/10
Jericho Candelario’s Gay Debut  (2018) R. Cooper 9/10
Christmas Wish List (2021) N.R. Walker (Hartbridge Christmas) 7.5/10

Frog (2012) Mary Calmes
Life Saving Dal (2017) Ada Maria Soto
The Boy Next Door (2017) Josh Lanyon

Mystery

The Beat Goes On: The Complete Rebus Stories (2015) Ian Rankin 9/10
Lindenshaw Mysteries by Charlie Cochrane: Jury of One (2016) 8/10, Two Feet Under (2018) 8/10, Old Sins (2019) 7.5/10, A Carriage of Misjustice (2020) 8/10
Riccardino (2020/2021) Andrea Camilleri translator Stephen Sartarelli (Inspector Montalbano) 8/10
The Mystery of the Spirits (2021) C.S. Poe (Snow & Winter) 8/10
In the Winter Woods (2020) Isabelle Adler 7/10
The Postscript Murders (2021) Elly Griffiths (Harbinder Kaur) 7/10
Christmas Dessert Murder (2021) Joanne Fluke (A Hannah Swensen Mystery)
Stranger in the House (2019) Josh Lanyon

Historical Romance

Something Fabulous (2022) Alexis Hall (Something Fabulous) 7/10
A Marriage of Equals (2021) Elizabeth Rolls 7/10
An Irregular Arrangement (2021) A. L. Lester (Border Magic)
Mr Warren’s Profession (2017) Sebastian Nothwell

Supernatural Fantasy

Reflection of a Curse (2022) Lissa Kasey (Romancing a Curse) 8/10
Conventional Shadows (2022) Lissa Kasey (A Simply Crafty Paranormal Mystery) 7/10
Threshold (2013) Jordan L. Hawk (Whyborne & Griffin) 7/10

Graphic Novel

Valor: Wands (2018) Isabelle Melançon, Megan Lavey-Heaton 8.5/10
Death Wins a Goldfish: Reflections from a Grim Reaper’s Yearlong Sabbatical (2019) Brian Rea 7/10
Witch Hat Atelier 1 (2017/2019) Kamome Shirahama
Moonstruck Volume 1: Magic to Brew (2018) Grace Ellis, Shae Beagle, Kate Leth

Audio Books

Broken Soul (2014) Faith Hunter narrated by Khristine Hvam (Jane Yellowrock) 8/10

Favorite Covers: Fantasy, Mystery, Romance
Favorite Mysteries
Favorite Romances
Favorite Fantasies
The Rest
Books that got me through the year

 

First

My Favorite Books

 

Top of the list? Murderbot!

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells

All Systems Red (2017) 9/10, Artificial Condition (2018) 8.5/10, Rogue Protocol (2018) 8.5/10, Exit Strategy (2018) 8.5/10, Network Effect (2020) 9/10, Fugitive Telemetry (2021) 9/10

Science Fiction

I generally dislike SF, so I put off reading this series. But when I was in desperate need of a distraction, Murderbot was the perfect fix.

A Countess of Harleigh Mystery by Dianne Freeman

A Lady’s Guide to Etiquette and Murder (2018) 7.5/10, A Lady’s Guide to Gossip and Murder (2019) 8.5/10, A Lady’s Guide to Mischief and Murder (2020) 8/10, A Fiancée’s Guide to First Wives and Murder (2021) 8/10

Historical Mystery, Cozy

I have always loved historical mysteries–even though the first “historicals” I read were actually Agatha Christie and Arthur Conan Doyle. This series is a cozy historical series with a female lead, who does NOT go running into danger, but instead tries to be safe and do the sensible thing, but events overtake her.

I am really looking forward to the next book when it comes out.

The Charm Offensive (2021) Alison Cochrun 9/10

Contemporary Romance, LGBT

Initially I didn’t even think I wanted to read this book, but by chapter two I was sucked in and in love with both characters.

I loved how Dev worked to keep Charlie calm and able to get through the day, but even more I loved how Charlie saw how hard Dev was working, and wanted to appreciate him.

A Marvellous Light (2021) Freya Marske (The Last Binding) 9/10

Fantasy, Historical, Mystery, LGBT

This is the first book in a new series, and it was full of things I absolutely adored.

It’s historical, with great fantasy world-building, and a side of mystery. And the two characters (eventually) talked about what they were reacting to.

Second

Publisher / Cover Roundup

Here are all the publishers who had more than a single cover I loved.

Berkley – 9 (Penguin)
self – 8
Kensington – 5
Carina – 3 (Harlequin)
Tangled Tree Publishing – 3 (Hot Tree)
Emporium Press – 2
Forever – 2 (Grand Central Publishing)

 

Although it was close thing, An Unexpected Peril (2021) Deanna Raybourn was my favorite cover, but as a whole, the mystery category had many many to choose from.

Third

I Read a LOT of Books

As I mentioned earlier, 2021 was a terrible year for me, so I went to my favorite form of escapism: reading.

This is the most books I have every read in a single year, since I started keeping track (2003).

Total Books Read: 335
Total Pages Read: 82788
Total Hours Listened: 7 days, 4 hrs, and 12 mins
Average days per book: 5.56
Average pages per day: 123

 

Genre

As you can see, an overwhelming majority of the books I loved were in the romance category. That is, of course, because a romance has an HEA, and those HEAs got me through the year.

Unfortunately for me, that means half the books I read had explicit sex scenes, so that was a downside.

But I did read my FIRST BOOK EVER with a chapter heading for aces!

Content disclaimer This chapter includes a sex scene. If you’d rather not read sexually explicit content, please skip ahead to chapter 23.

 

Author

As a reader of SFF, every couple years a guy complains that there aren’t any good female authors. (Seriously, I’ve been ranting about this since 2005.) So I started keeping track of the sex of the authors I’ve been reading.

As I have every year since 2012, the majority of the books I read this year were written by women, and when you take pseudonyms into account, more than three quarters of the books I read this year were written by women.

Why do I take pseudonyms into account? Because in genres like fantasy and mystery, women frequently take male pseudonyms or use their initials instead of a first name, to hide their gender. So I track those numbers as well: 7% of all the books I’ve read since 2003 have been written by women (overtly or subtly) hiding they are women.

 

 

Characters

 

With a couple of exceptions (Terry Pratchett, Robert B Parker, Ben Aaronovitch, FREX) I tend to prefer books written by women–and when reading primarily SFF, I tend prefer female leads; mostly because there is less blatant sexism and misogyny.

However, as is obvious from my love of SFF, I like reading about experience that are not my own, and so I started seeking out books by and about POC, as well as books set in places unfamiliar to me.

When I started reading romance, I discovered that many of the best books were sexually explicit, which sometimes gives me a feeling of dysphoria, plus, sex scenes are just boring. I soon discovered that MM romance was much easier for me to read, since I don’t feel as if I should be inserting myself into the story, so I also started reading a lot of LGBT stories–not just romances, but across all genres.

What this chart is showing is that I read a LOT of MM stories, and I still have work to do in reading more stories with POC representation.

 

Format

 

I read almost exclusive ebooks at this point, with the exceptions being cookbooks and comics. Since I have barely cooked or baked this year, all the paper books were comics.

And as you can see, almost half the books I read were rereads.

You can see here what years I’ve struggled with my mental health, by the percent of rereads in a year.

 

Fourth

Random bits and pieces

Country of Origin

 

Every once in awhile I come across a genre book / series that is translated into English, and I adore these books, since they (especially mysteries) give a completely different view of another country. And books written in English but set in a country that is not the US or Great Britain are also lovely.

I do need to branch out more, but at least it’s not all US & UK authors.

 

Ratings:

 

This is unsurprising, since I had so many rereads this year. What I did find interesting (and don’t have a way to track, is that some of the comforting rereads were ones I hadn’t rated above a 7 1/2. However, something about the story settled my mind and emotions.

For example, Dahlia Donovan’s Sin Bin series pulled me in and stuck in my brain, even if I didn’t always like the characters, or the trope wasn’t my thing. But for the most part I picked up books I loved, or was pretty certain I was going to love, to read this year.

 

And that’s a wrap for 2021. Any books I read in the next couple days will be shoehorned into 2022, just to make things easier.

I hope y’all read some amazing books this year, and I hope that the next year will be one that requires less comfort and more adventure.

This year was awful for me.

Really awful.

So I did a lot of rereading of books of favorites, or books that brought me comfort and allowed me a distraction from reality. And those two are not always the same thing. Some distracting books are not comforting, but none of the books have a cliff-hanger ending, and to me, all of the endings are satisfying.

This list is going to be a lot of books. But I read a stupidly large number of books this year, so this is kind of a drop in the bucket.

I’m not even going to try to tell you what makes these books so good, just that each and every one of these served to pull me out of my own head when I desperately needed it. In fact, the first book I reached for after my father died was Robert Parker’s Small Vices, and the only reason the Miss Marple series didn’t make the list is because I had just finished rereading that entire series at the end of 2020

I do, however, want to note that several authors made this list in multiple genres, including C.S. Poe, who wrote books I adore in all three of my escapism genres. The others are Nicole Kimberling, Cat Sebastian, Aidan Wayne.

Fantasy

Big Bad Wolf series* by Charlie Adhara

The Wolf at the Door (2018), The Wolf at Bay (2018), Thrown to the Wolves (2019), Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing (2020)

Supernatural Mystery, Romance, LGBT

 

Fred, the Vampire Accountant series by Drew Hayes:

The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (2014), Undeath and Taxes (2015), Bloody Acquisitions (2016), Deadly Assessments (2018), Undeading Bells (2019)

Supernatural Mystery

 

Offbeat Crimes series* by Angel Martinez

Lime Gelatin and Other Monsters (2016), The Pill Bugs of Time (2016), Skim Blood and Savage Verse (2017), Feral Dust Bunnies (2017), Jackalopes and Woofen-Poofs  (2017), All the World’s an Undead Stage (2018); Brandywine Investigations*: Open for Business (2016), Family Matters (2018); Uncommonly Tidy Poltergeists* (2017)

Supernatural Mystery, Romance, LGBT

 

Shadow Police series by Paul Cornell

London Falling (2012), The Severed Streets (2014), Who Killed Sherlock Holmes? (2016)

Supernatural Mystery

 

C.S. Poe

Love, Marriage, and a Baby Carriage* (2016)

Supernatural Romance, LGBT, Short story

 

Nicole Kimberling

Grilled Cheese and Goblins: Adventures of a Supernatural Food Inspector* (2018)

Supernatural Mystery, Romance, LGBT

 

T.J. Klune

The House in the Cerulean Sea (2020)

Fantasy, LGBT

 

Aidan Wayne

Making Love (2017)

Supernatural Romance, LGBT, novella

 

Audio

Daniel O’Malley The Rook, Audio Edition (2012) narrated by Susan Duerden

Stiletto, Audio Edition (2016) narrated by Moira Quirk

Urban Fantasy

 

Mystery

Julian Kestrel Mysteries by Kate Ross

Cut to the Quick (1993), A Broken Vessel (1994), Whom the Gods Love (1995), The Devil in Music (1997)

Historical Mystery

 

Regency London series by Michelle Diener

The Emperor’s Conspiracy (2012), Banquet of Lies (2013), A Dangerous Madness (2014)

Historical Mystery, Romance

 

Cat Sebastian Hither, Page* (2019)

Historical Mystery, Romance, LGBT

 

C.S. Poe Southernmost Murder* (2018)

Contemporary Mystery, Romance, LGBT

 

Josh Lanyon Come Unto These Yellow Sands* (2017)

Contemporary Mystery, LGBT

 

Nicole Kimberling

The Bellingham Mystery Series Volume 1* (2015), The Bellingham Mystery Series Volume 2* (2015)

Contemporary Mystery, Romance, LGBT

 

Grasmere Cottage Mysteries (2018) by Dahlia Donovan

Dead in the Garden, Dead in the Pond, Dead in the Shop

Contemporary Mystery, Cozy, LGBT

 

Robert B. Parker Small Vices (1998) (Spenser)

Mystery, PI

Romance

Lescaut Quartet* by Tracy Grant

Dark Angel (1994), Shores of Desire (1997)

Historical Romance, MF, Mystery

 

The Turner series* by Cat Sebastian

The Lawrence Browne Affair (2017), The Ruin of a Rake (2017);
It Takes Two to Tumble* (2017) (Seducing the Sedgwicks)

Historical Romance, MM, LGBT

 

Sins of the Cities series* by KJ Charles

An Unseen Attraction (2017), An Unnatural Vice (2017);
Band Sinister* (2018)

Historical Romance, MM, LGBT

 

Georgette Heyer These Old Shades (1926)

Historical Romance

 

Garnet Run series* by Roan Parrish

Better Than People (2020), Best Laid Plans (2021); Riven*: Riven (2018), Rend  (2018); The Remaking of Corbin Wale* (2017)

Contemporary Romance, MM, LGBT

 

Frozen Hearts series* by Annabeth Albert

Arctic Sun (2019), Arctic Wild (2019), Arctic Heat (2019)

Contemporary Romance, MM, LGBT

 

Talia Hibbert *

Ravenswood: A Girl Like Her (2018), Damaged Goods (2018), Untouchable (2018), That Kind of Guy (2019);
Undone by the Ex-Con (2018), Work for It (2019)

Contemporary Romance, LGBT

 

C.S. Poe

Kneading You* (2016), Joy (2017), The Color of You* (2017)

Contemporary Romance, MM, LGBT, novellas

 

N.R. Walker

Galaxies and Oceans* (2018), Upside Down (2019)

Contemporary Romance, MM, LGBT

 

R. Cooper

Hottie Scotty and Mr. Porter* (2017), For Better or Worse* (2017), Jericho Candelario’s Gay Debut (2018)

Contemporary Romance, MM, LGBT

 

Layla Reyne

Dine with Me* (2019)

Contemporary Romance, MM, LGBT

 

Aidan Wayne

Loud and Clear (2016), Play It Again (2019)

Contemporary Romance, MM, LGBT

Cass Lennox

Blank Spaces* (2016)

Contemporary Romance, MM, Mystery, LGBT

 

Alexis Hall

Waiting for the Flood (2018) (Spires)

Contemporary Romance, MM,  LGBT, novella

 

Ada Maria Soto

And Everything Nice (2016)

Contemporary Romance, MM, LGBT, short story

 

* Boinking Books

Science Fiction

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells

All Systems Red (2017) 9/10, Artificial Condition (2018) 8.5/10, Rogue Protocol (2018) 8.5/10, Exit Strategy (2018) 8.5/10, Network Effect (2020) 9/10, Fugitive Telemetry (2021) 9/10

Late to the game, I know. But in my defense, I tend to dislike science fiction, with just a handful of exceptions.

This is one of those exceptions.

I mean, this is the opening paragraph of the first novella.

I COULD HAVE BECOME a mass murderer after I hacked my governor module, but then I realized I could access the combined feed of entertainment channels carried on the company satellites. It had been well over 35,000 hours or so since then, with still not much murdering, but probably, I don’t know, a little under 35,000 hours of movies, serials, books, plays, and music consumed. As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure.

And it just gets better from there. I still have the latest book to read, but that’s I’ve been taking my time and savoring the stories.

 

Audio

Tales from the Folly: A Rivers of London Short Story Collection (2020) Ben Aaronovitch narrated by: the author, Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, Ben Elliot, Felix Grainger, Sam Peter Jackson, Alex Kingston, Shvorne Marks, and Penelope Rawlins 8.5/10

Fantasy, Anthology

Despite there being other narrators besides Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, this was a great collection. Because of course we do get some Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, but we also get other narrators for other characters (such as Abigail).

I’ve always found Toby a pretty reliable magic detector. I’ve actually done controlled laboratory experiments that indicate that he can detect magical activity up to ten metres away, although false positives can be generated by cats, other dogs and the remote possibility of a sausage.

But most of all, Peter.

 

Murderbot Audio Editions: All Systems Red, (2017), Artificial Condition, Audio Edition (2018), Rogue Protocol, Audio Edition (2018), Martha Wells narrated by Kevin R. Free

Although the voice doesn’t quite match what I heard in my head, it is still very good.

When constructs were first developed, they were originally supposed to have a pre-sentient level of intelligence, like the dumber variety of bot. But you can’t put something as dumb as a hauler bot in charge of security for anything without spending even more money for expensive company-employed human supervisors. So they made us smarter. The anxiety and depression were side effects.

Because: Murderbot

 

Comics

Lady Mechanika: Sangre (2020) by Joe Benitez, M.M. Chen, Brian Ching, Martin Montiel 8/10

Steampunk

I love the story, but I also utterly adore the art.

I read a lot of mysteries this year. Even more surprising, I read a lot of newly released mysteries.

 

Madison Square Murders (2021) C.S. Poe (Memento Mori) 8.5/10

Police, LGBT

This is a new series in the same setting as the Snow & Winter series, with minor overlapping characters. Everett Larkin works on the NYC Cold Case Squad. He is an excellent detective, but an accident when he was a teenager changed his brain so that the past remains emotionally present for him. Forever.

If you know your romance tropes, this one is definintely grumpy/sunshine.

“Perhaps I’ve caught you at a bad time,” Joe suggested.

“You haven’t, I assure you.

One thing I struggled with was that the marriage of the main character was falling apart throughout the book. Which is rough going. Also, lots of triggers here for all kinds of dark things.

Yet, I did like it and can’t wait for the next one.

An Elderly Lady Is Up to No Good (2018) Helene Tursten translated by Marlaine Delargy 8.5/10

Contemporary

This book! Elderly woman kills people who annoy her!

(S)he had learned that it was smart not to reveal that all her senses were in full working order; instead, she allowed people to act in accordance with their own preconceptions.

Seriously. It’s about an old woman killing people who annoy her. You either want to read it based upon that, or there is no way you’ll ever read it.

Murder Most Actual (2021) Alexis Hall  8/10

Cozy, LGBT

Alexis Hall + Clue + Everyone is snowed in.

“Belloc’s an ass,” declared the colonel.

The door burst open.

“Oh, is he?” demanded Belloc, who Liza would have bet money had been waiting outside for the perfect moment to make a big entrance. “But I wonder, would the great Colonel Coleman have the courage to say this to Belloc’s face?”

The colonel stared at him. “You’re an ass.”

This is very much over-the-top, and very much delightful.

Mango, Mambo, and Murder (2021) Raquel V. Reyes (A Caribbean Kitchen Mystery) 8/10

Cozy, Food

Miriam Quiñones-Smith has finished her PhD in food anthropology, but instead of becoming an author or education, she has moved back to Miami, where her husband was able to find a better paying job closer to support from his family.

“I’m a food anthropologist.”

“You dig up old food?” Ileana asked.

“No, I … I …” I’d never had it put that way before.

Although this is a murder mystery, it is also about Miriam finding her place in the world, both as a mother and daughter, and a woman whose life plans were upended and she has to decide who she wants to become.

Also, I now really wish there was a Cuban restaurant anywhere near me.

Arsenic and Adobo (2021) Mia P. Manansala (Tita Rosie’s Kitchen) 8/10

Cozy, Food

Lila Macapagal has returned home both to reset her life after discovering her ex-fianace cheated, and also to help try to save the family restaurant.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been stared down by an elderly Asian woman, but It. Is. Terrifying. Don’t be fooled by the cute florals and jaunty visors— these women will end you, wielding nothing but their sharp tongues, bony elbows, and collapsible shopping carts.

Then (because this is a cozy) murder happens. Lots and lots of food described in loving detail here.

Motts Cold Case Mystery by Dahlia Donovan

Poisoned Primrose (2020) 8/10, Pierced Peony (2021) 8/10, Pickled Petunia (2021) 7.5/10

Cozy, LGBT

Despite her mother’s unhappiness about it, Motts moved to the cottage she inherited from her aunt and is making a go of living on her own for the first time. Being autistic and ace is complicated, but she has family and friends who love and look out for her.

“Hello. Please go away.”

“I brought a sack of chips and a chocolate bar.”

“Well, fine. Come in.”

Motts definitely does not search out crimes to investigate, and doesn’t particularly want to get involved, but when the situations are somewhat forced upon her, she becomes fascinated by the puzzles.

Haven Investigations by Lissa Kasey

Model Citizen (2015) 8/10, Model Bodyguard (2016) 8.5/10, Model Investigator (2017) 9/10, Model Exposure (2017) 9/10

PI, LGBT, Romance, Boinking

There are books you love the entire time you’re reading them, and you finish that last page with happy sigh.

Then there are the books that you keep thinking about, weeks and months after you finished them. This series is in the latter category.

There is a lot of sex in this series. So it is definitely not for everyone. But it had plot twists that kept me guessing, and the characters just stuck with me, both the things they went through and survived, but also the way they learned to lean on each other and their found family for support.

This four-book PI series was full of twists and turns and unexpected routes.

It has tons of trigger warnings, but what I loved best was that the mental health aspects (which were many) were dealt with so well.

“You know that little questionnaire you get every time you go in? You’re supposed to answer that honestly, not mark what you think you should feel.”

I had thought it was just me. That it was my place to fix what was wrong with me. That I’d been given help and it was my fault it wasn’t working because I wasn’t trying hard enough.

After his brother’s death by suicide, Oliver took over the PI firm, putting his (very successful) modeling career on hold. But he is barely keeping his head above water, so one of his brother’s friends calls in another to help Oliver out.

This series has a LOT of sex, so it won’t be for a lot of people, but I really liked both the characters and the mystery.

A Countess of Harleigh Mystery by Dianne Freeman

A Lady’s Guide to Gossip and Murder (2019) 8.5/10, A Lady’s Guide to Mischief and Murder (2020) 8/10, A Fiancée’s Guide to First Wives and Murder (2021) 8/10

Historical, Cozy

Frances Wynn, Countess of Harleigh has finally ended her mourning. However, since she was the spouse with the money, her in-laws don’t want her to leave, since she is all that is keeping the estates afloat.

“And how clever of you to have your own money.”

I chuckled. “The credit goes to my father. He set up this account although the Wynn family resented it at the time. They were rather offended at the idea of a wife having independent means— not the English way, you know.”

But when it begins to look like her husband’s death was not accidental, she is drawn into a mystery.

There is a delightful amount banter.

“I confess I had no idea what you were trying to tell me. Fortunately, your sister did.”

“I shall have to brush up on my skills,” he said with a sigh. “Or we could devise signals.”

I widened my eyes. “Or we could just speak to each other?”

“Well, if you insist on taking the easy route.”

And one of the things I especially like is that she doesn’t stumble blindly into situations but instead tries her best to keep out of danger.

Murder Most Fair (2021) Anna Lee Huber (Verity Kent) 8.5/10

Historical

This is the best book in this series in a while. A lot of the things that were bugging me are starting to slowly get resolved.

“(W)ell, I thought I was managing it. Until clearly I wasn’t.”

Don’t start here is you have not read the series, but if you start to wonder if you should keep going once you’re in the series, the answer is yes.

Death at the Crystal Palace (2021) Jennifer Ashley (A Below Stairs Mystery Book) 8/10

Historical, Cozy

Kat is a cook who has befriended the lady of the house, and so is far more involved in the lives of her betters than is necessarily good for her. But it is out of wanting to help those in need, rather than an overwhelming curiosity.

I was the same person, and yet in this dress and hat with a young man to handle the tickets for me, I suddenly deserved the conductor’s politeness. It made one think.

I’m very much enjoying this series.

Subtle Blood (2021) KJ Charles (The Will Darling Adventures) 8/10

Historical, LGBT, Romance, Boinking

Third book (and perhaps last?) of the series.

Will Darling came back from the War and struggled until meeting an uncle he didn’t know he had. When the uncle dies, leaving his bookstore to Will, he is inadvertently drawn into intrigue, and meets Kim, who has wealth and a name, and initially never tells Will the truth about anything.

It’s also (as are all KJ Charles books) full of wonderful dialog.

“You can’t expect me to take your word for things when I could work myself into a frenzy about them instead.”

This is not the place to start, but there are only two prior books, so it’s easy to get caught up, and then you can enjoy the intrigue and adventure.

Several of these are also romances, because as said before, I needed happy endings and HEAs.

A Marvellous Light (2021) Freya Marske (The Last Binding) 9/10

Historical, Mystery, LGBT, Boinking

Robin accidentally ends up as the magical liaison to the prime minister when the previous liaison disappears.

This is a problem because (like most of the public) Robin was unaware that magic was real.

Robin had never tried to deliberately clear his mind. He had the absurd image of taking a broom to waves on a seashore, trying to sweep the water back out across the stones.

I am very fond of historical LGBT romances, since the setting gives the characters a reason not to discuss their feelings (what with it leading to pillory (or worse) if discovered) and this does that well, along with interesting world building, and a good mystery.

It’s not action/adventure and a bit slower in places, but that was just fine with me.

The Saint of Steel series by T. KingfisherPaladin’s Grace (2020) 8.5/10, Paladin’s Strength (2021) 8.5/10, Paladin’s Hope (2021) 8/10

Fantasy, Romance, LGBT, Boinking

This series is about paladins to a dead god, who were taken in by the Temple of the White Rat–at least those who survived their god’s death were.

Paladins were never a class I had any interest in, however, she has created a group of delightful ones.

“Istvhan, you ever kill someone with an ice swan?” he whispered.

“I clubbed someone unconscious with a frozen goose once. That’s similar?”

The Bishop suffered a mysterious coughing fit.

“No, you had to use the goose as a bludgeon, didn’t you? For the swan, I figure you’d snap the head off and try to stab with the neck.”

“Hmmm…” Istvhan eyed the ice sculpture speculatively. “It’s pretty big. And not well balanced.”

“I figure you’d have to go two-handed with it.”

“I think I’d grab one of the candelabras instead. Some of those are nice and heavy.”

“Far too unwieldy. I could take you apart with the ice swan while you were still trying to get the candelabra off the ground.”

This series is fun–although I felt like the third book was the weakest in the series. But despite that, start with Paladin’s Grace and read forward, because even her weakest book in the series was quite good.

Wonderstruck (2021) Allie Therin (Magic in Manhattan) 8/10

Historical, LGBT, Boinking

Third book in the series closes the story arc. Rory is struggling now the antique shop is gone, and they still haven’t found the man murdering for magic.

One of the things I particularly like about Rory and Arthur is that neither wants to take advantage of the other, which leads to a lot of misunderstandings, but they are the normal kinds of misunderstandings.

“We don’t owe our hearts to people who hurt us, even if they’re our blood.”

This is one of the many books I loved this year that was set in the Interwar period, when so much of the world was changing.

The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks (2021) Mackenzi Lee (Montague Siblings) 8/10

Historical, YA

The third (and seemingly final) book in the series, it can stand on its own, but is more poignant seeing Monty and Felicity twenty years later.

It’s also about grief and guilt and mental illness and love.

“God, is this going to take years?”

“It’s going to take your whole life,” Felicity says. “But it doesn’t have to be the defining element of it.

Although you can read this as a stand-alone, the previous two books are very good, and well worth reading, and I highly recommend them. Just be aware that if you start with the first book, Monty is complicated, and it took quite a while for me to warm up to him.

What Abigail Did That Summer (2021) Ben Aaronovitch (Rivers of London) 8.5/10

Supernatural Mystery, YA

This book is set at the time as Foxglove Summer. Abigail speaks to foxes and wants more than anything to learn magic.

This could be read as a stand-alone I believe, because Abigail is only peripheral to the River of London novels, although she does have her own place in the comics and short stories.

The fox is sitting in my lap and still nuzzling my chin, which is beginning to vex me so I tell it to stop.

“Don’t you like that?” says the fox. The voice is slightly wheezy and pitched high. I suspect this is a vixen. “In training they said it promoted co-operation in humans.”

If you’ve not read any of the books in the Rivers of London series, this might be a good place to dip a toe in and see if you like it. That said, my favorite way to enjoy this series is listening to Kobna Holdbrook-Smith be Peter Grant.

Out of House and Home (2021) Drew Hayes (Fred the Vampire Accountant) 8/10

Supernatural

The seventh Fred book find Fred & Crystal married and back home. Except that the invading vampire clan wants Fred gone, and is willing to burn down Charlotte to do it.

This series remains delightful. I mean…

With a quick recovery, Amy turned hard on the steering bars of her goat, setting a good angle on the goal and whipping her crosse forward.

You shouldn’t start here, but all the books are available and on Hoopla if not at your library.

Cry Wolf (2021) Charlie Adhara (Big Bad Wolf) 8/10

Supernatural, LGBT, Boinking

The fifth book in the Big Bad Wolf series. Part of the story is wedding planning, part of the story is Eli wanting Cooper to solve a mystery for him.

Also, this book has one of the best disclaimers I’ve read in ages.

Any resemblance to actual persons or events is coincidental. Though if you do know of a criminal plot involving werewolves that has taken place at any of these locales, that is a coincidence I would love to know about.

Don’t start here. Start at the first book, A Wolf at the Door (which is available on Hoopla) because the character arcs are really wonderful.

White Trash Warlock (2020) David R. Slayton (Adam Binder) 8/10

Supernatural, LGBT

I love the world building here, as it’s not like anything else I’ve read before (though there are bits and pieces that remind me of other magic systems). I also love that the story doesn’t shy away from showing real poverty–the kind with beat up trailers and broken windows covered with cardboard and tape and the cheapest foods at the store.

The parking meters had mouths where their coin slots should be. They undulated like hungry snakes, begging for coins. “How many of you can do that?” he asked. He fed the meter a few quarters. Contented, it tried to lick his face before closing its eyes and drifting to sleep like a cat in the sun.

The second book came out this year, however, I am very angry at it, because it ended on a big cliffhanger. Yet, I’m still planning on buying the third book as soon as it comes out.

Recipe for a Curse (2021) Lissa Kasey (Romancing a Curse) 8/10

Supernatural, LGBT, Boinking

I actually got this free, and was expecting a mediocre short story. Instead a got a novella with marvelous world-building and complex characters.

Also, one of the main characters is a chef, so lots of food and cooking.

People didn’t like to think their quiet towns or pockets of wealth housed those with food insecurity, but I’d found that it was a reality everywhere. Even in upstate New York, buried in a small tourist area with large plots of land.

This is a pandemic story, which not everyone might be ready for, but I thought it was very well done.